...but did you know of its insidious connection to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
Nland Surf Park from NLand Surf Park on Vimeo.
Austin, Texas is getting a surf park. A big one.
Today Nland Surf Park’s CEO Doug Coors (same Coors as the brewery that’s raping the Rockies), announced that he would be opening a surf park nine-football-fields in size (football fields being the standard unit of measure in Texas, of course) with more than 10 individual waves to choose from.
To those poor Austin residents worried that opening a truly massive water park in the middle of one of the worst droughts in history may push the region towards a life not unlike Grapes of Wrath , Nland Surf Park says fear not!
Partnering with the Spanish engineers at Wavegarden, Coors claims that “even in the most challenging drought conditions, the lagoon will be self-sustaining with rainwater.”
The park will produce a bountiful 300 wave per hour. 300 waves that “never lose power or shape, ranging from one to six feet will be yours to hang ten!”
A wave every 60 seconds! Literally machine-like “one, four and perfectly tubing six foot waves.” Each wave offering a “lengthy surfing experience of 35 seconds per wave.”
The park is set to open in 2016. To celebrate the park’s official announcement, Nland released this remarkably clumsy promo, featuring kookiness like so much low hanging fruit.
P.S. Tobe Hooper, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s creator, came up with the film while working at the University of Texas at Austin. He was also born in Austin.
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We appreciate the concern, but Texas just broke the record for most rainfall in a month (and had been coming out of drought since last last year). And besides this is America, we won’t let a little climate change get in the way of our recreation, lawns, or love of large trucks.