Mick and Julian's post shark attack news conference
called out in Australia's news.
I think, for most writers, taking the path into
marketing is a tempting proposition. It’s really not much more than
lying with a straight face, and that’s easy. Especially if you’re
more or less morally bankrupt and approach most strangers with some
small species of contempt.I think the only thing that spared me the
indignity of professional employment of rhetorical devices in order
to flog a garbage product is my total inability to cooperate with
others.
The thing with marketing, it’s like sucking cock. There’s
nothing wrong with it, some people really enjoy it. But to do it
for a living…Go ahead, but keep it private. Maybe think twice about
flouting how good you are at it.
Today’s Sydney Morning Herald (tomorrow’s, from my
perspective, thanks to my location on the other side of the
international dateline) included an article by Andrew Hughes “a
lecturer in marketing in the Australia National University’s
Research School of Management, where he acts as the Director of the
MBA.” Titled, Shark attack: Mick Fanning’s sponsors fail by being
noticed. It examines the product placement at hand during a
press conference Julian and Mick held in the wake of the recent
shark attack.
Hughes pays lip service to the notion of authenticity, the idea
that good marketing is indistinguishable as such. Ideally we’re
sold to subliminally, “If the consumer notices the marketing your
campaign goes from natural to manufactured very quickly and loses
its impact and effectiveness.”
He goes on, “Similarly if a consumer doesn’t notice the
difference, then it’s hello to viral distribution and huge impact
and engagement.”
At issue is the prominent product placement enjoyed by both Red
Bull and Rip Curl during the press conference, “It was a brand
message too far. A bite into the credibility of the very brands
themselves. Using the media to carry the message like this went
past PR and into advertising.”
Red Bull holds a strange place in my heart. On one hand it’s
really just an addictive concoction of sugar and caffeine that’s
marketed, very successfully, to stupid children. On the other hand,
the company pumps an obscene amount of money into really cool
projects, and I don’t like children anyway. If the newest crop of
internet addicted crotch fruit ripens into an entire generation of
attention deficit slobs I’ll be a happy camper. Less competition
for work in the coming decades.
Rip Curl sells tide watches. In 2015. Because you desperately
need a tide watch. It’s not like we have some sort of magical
square in our pocket that tells us the time, gives us surf reports,
and can deliver up copious amounts of pornography at the wave of a
hand.
Either way, there’s not a whole lot of actual authentic
“authenticity” to be had. Not unless you really believe that ADS
and Mick and Julian and Jordy want nothing more than a lukewarm
energy the moment they finish a heat.
Manufactured authenticity, though, what a concept. Are people so
foolish as to be blind to the manipulation?Probably, I guess. Like
George Carlin said, “Think of how stupid the average person is, and
realize half of them are stupider than that.”
I know that when I was an empty headed pubescent grommet I
couldn’t wait to piss away my money on whatever hot brand my fave
surfer was wearing. Andy’s rocking MCD? Gotta grab a pair of shin
length boardies! Taylor Steele is riding for No Fear? Is No Fear
cool again? Okay, sign me up.
We do grow up, though, and Hughes may be overestimating the
efficacy of his profession when he says, “Athlete endorsements help
brands leverage into that natural and authentic space easily. They
help develop a personality for the brand that is used to develop a
relationship with customers that can last for decades.” Little
lasts for decades, and in the easy come and easy go surf world you
need to cash in while you can. Just because surfing is cool now
there’s no indication it’ll still be so in a year. The skate
industry has understood that since the 60’s, catering to the whims
of childish affectation is a feast or famine livelihood.
Hughes leads into his wrap up with the statement, “And the more
natural you are as an athlete the better. Just ask Shane Warne or
Greg Norman, both of whom have successful product ranges and
personal brand portfolios.”
All I can say to that is, who the fuck are Shane Warne and Greg
Norman?
