Meet: Owen Wright’s Rock Star Girlfriend!

It’s a glory hole of love!

Every Sunday afternoon, I like to descend to the bottom of the inexhaustible mine of Instagram. It’s a dignified pursuit, a high-water mark of my week, even if it does make my contempt for humanity grow fiercer.

Such stupidity, such contempt for literature and art and everything I hold dear.

But, then, all those glistening flanks, the quivering bosoms, the heaving bellies and tossing thighs! It give me some of the keenest torments I’ve ever had to endure!

And, look hard enough, and you’ll find…love.

Just then I strolled into Owen Wright’s business with the teenage rock star Kita Alexander, whose songs have the good temper of a warm summer’s day.

Owen, as you know, suffered a terrible concussion in Hawaii and had to withdraw from the Pipeline Masters and the world title race.

Did you ever wonder who the angel was who nursed him back to heath?

Examine these Instagram posts, first from Owen.

And, from Ms Alexander.

Can you remember the first time you first felt such a love? When the world around you seemed to vanish and all of that dull cynicism you’d carried for years was washed away by hours of kissing and tomfoolery? That twinge of desire in the pit of your stomach. Kisses so hard you can’t breathe. Drinking spit as if it was sixty-dollar champagne.

It’s a previous thing to behold, love. It’s as precious as a ruby but as fragile and as easily ruined as a silk shirt.

Now let’s watch Kita, this teen with her distinctive personality and that little extra something, that extra tang, that heady savour, sing!

Is it worth your eight minutes? Yes!