Audio: The happy surfers of Gaza!

A story so feel-good it hurts!

A few weeks ago, a new-ish El-Al 777 staffed by handsome Jews and Jewesses took me to Israel. There was a small WSL event and an old pal brought me over to, shit, I don’t really know. Drink the booze, steal precious wind-waves from the little kids, marvel, again, at the miracle of this brave little nation, surrounded by mortal enemies and yet held to a higher moral standard than any other country in the world?

Whatever it was, the trip confirmed by opinion. On the balance of my reading and observations, and with no Jewish heritage to colour my opinion, the nation of Israel, the most progressive in that haunted region of dictators and thugs and religious psychosis (compare Israel to Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, Iran for example), ain’t such a bad place. Maybe we should cut it a little slack.

Anyway, one of the surfers whose company I always enjoy is Arthur Rashkovan, a pro surfer and surf shop owner from Tel Aviv. He’s always doing his Surfing4Peace thing, giving boards and wetsuits to Palestinian surfers, taking the show on the road through Europe, joining Arab and Jew.

These guys here, their idea of surfing a wave isn’t being on a wave alone and doing beautiful manoeuvres… their idea of the perfect wave is riding a wave and holding someone’s hand on a surfboard next to them.”

It isn’t always a roaring success, of course. I mean, how does a young Arab man, who’s grown up under “Jewish occupation”, and who’s been indoctrinated about the evils of Jews since he was born, wipe that off? Arthur tries, though, and he cuts through little by little.

A recent BBC podcast on the Gaza Surf Club gives some insight into the world of the Gazan surfer. Gaza, of course, is that 42-click stretch of coast that became a Palestinian territory after Israel handed it back in 2005. Matthew Olson is an American whose group Explore Corps started the club in 2008.

His insight is worth examining.

“One of the most amazing things about surfing here in Gaza is the degree to which the surfers want to do it with everybody else,” says Olson. “Surfing in the west is inherently selfish. There’s a lot of etiquette for example: one person per wave. But these guys here, their idea of surfing a wave isn’t being on a wave alone and doing beautiful manoeuvres… their idea of the perfect wave is riding a wave and holding someone’s hand on a surfboard next to them.”

The podcast tells us of the day in 2007 when the late Doc Paskowitz  got 14 boards into Gaza. A miracle given the dogma of the Islamists on one side and the security on the Israeli side. But Doc and his son David got ’em in, handed over the boards and, in the Hawaiian tradition, handed over their shirts to their Palestinian compadres.

The podcast quotes Doc.

“For an instant (he starts to cry)… for an instant… we solved that problem. Between the Jews and the Arabs. And it was beautiful… so beautiful to see that.”

 

Listen to the BBC podcast here. 

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Gold Coast “Open to Prowling Sharks!”

Relentless cyclone swells forces removal of shark nets… 

The Gold Coast in full cyclonic flower is a marvel that no human ingenuity can manufacturer, notwithstanding Kelly Slater’s Lemoore wavepool. And the last few weeks of waves have been considered, by some, to be the most exquisite in decades.

But did you know the Gold Coast City Council removed 11 shark nets from GC beaches over the weekend (Main Beach, Surfers Paradise, Burleigh, Tallebudgera, Coolangatta,  Miami, Bilinga, Kirra, Kurrawa, Currumbin and Mermaid Beach), thereby opening the waves to “prowling sharks”?

As reported by the GC Bulletin, “Fisheries Queensland Acting Manager Shark Control Program Chris Watts said 25 nets would be removed across the state, with 11 to be removed from Gold Coast beaches. ‘Gear that is loose in the water can be a danger to swimmers and that’s why we are removing the apparatuses for a short period.'”

Whatever you think of stringing nets and drum lines to hook potentially deadly sharks, y’gotta admit they’re effective. While Byron Bay and Ballina surfers cower in packs close to shore, not even an hour north, surfers dance all day, all night. How many fatals since shark nets were introduced to the GC more than fifty years ago? Uh, none.

If you examine the shark net catch data, you’ll know why. Three Great Whites were caught in June last year between Burleigh and Surfers. In August, two eight-foot Whites were caught at Kirra. Thirty-five Tigers were caught between Snapper and Kirra, most of ’em around the eight-foot mark.

Oowee, and now the nets are gone?

Are you a little tremulous? Or is the weight of overcrowding so heavy, the weight of claustrophobia so great, that a shark attack (non-fatal, of course) might, in the short term, be a good thing?

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The Eddie and Kim Kardashian!

What do America's sweethearts have in common?

We are all still reveling in the historic Quiksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau event that wrapped last week. A warm afterglow fills hearts and souls. I, for example, just got out of the water in sun-dappled southern California and guess what happened? The surf was biggish. I took off on a set wave. Pointed toward the shoulder before getting swallowed in the whitewash. Kicked my board out and the savage fury snapped my leash straight in half! Can you believe? I am like John John himself! Like Aaron Gold even!

While I wait by the mailbox for my invite to next year’s Eddie, let’s talk about what happened during this last one. Did you know that so many Hawaiians logged on to catch the webcast that Hawaii’s internet broke? It’s true!

Hawaiian Telecom released a statement mid-day that read:

We have received a handful of customer calls reporting intermittent latency or delays depending on what they are trying to do on the Internet, particularly if they are accessing sites outside of Hawaii. That’s code for worldsurfleague.com!

A major company sent out a memo to employees reading:

Please avoid the use of streaming video for non-company business purposes (e.g. watching streaming video of The Eddie Aikau Memorial Surf Contest). Creative Services is uploading files today, but the uploads are being slowed by severe congestion in the company’s internet connection driven by streaming video.

The University of Hawaii sent students this message:

UPDATE: The issue is due to a problem with our network provider. They don’t anticipate the issue being resolved before the end of the business day. (When the Eddie concludes)

At one of Oahu’s private catholic high schools, Damien Memorial, the teachers locked bathroom doors so students couldn’t sneak in and watch the contest on their phones.

And how fabulous is all of that! Hawaii’s internet broken and not because of this:

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But because of this!

quikeddie

Hooray for surfing!

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Tom Dosland wipeout

Video Games Pay More Than Death Surf!

Five video gamers just split three-mill in a recent contest. What do big-wavers get? Honour?

There’s a big video game tournament going on right now, the DOTA2 Shanghai Majors. Pretty lame stuff, the fact of that professional video game playing actually exists.

I like video games, but they’re hardly the end-all pursuit.

Much cooler shit to be done in real life, games are great for rainy days when you feel like sitting on your ass and smoking hash. Which is fun, but hardly a healthy lifestyle.

Top prize for the group of five nerds who’ve spent the most time working towards a carpal tunnel disability check is $3.3 million dollars. Not too shabby. I think there’s some weird prize money split going on, each team has a patron and I’m sure they take a healthy cut.

Still, even if the boss takes half before the split, that leaves each player with a cool $330K. Which is a hell of a lot of money.

I tired watching a few minutes of the tournament, was bored as hell within a few minutes. I don’t understand the appeal of watching someone else play video games. But I’m old, so I don’t understand a lot of what goes on online. Chalk it up to “kids are dumb” and move on.

It boggles my mind that people can wrangle enough cash to pay video game dorks that much money, while big wave events drop $75k max, to first place. What’s going on?

Stupid question, I know the answer. It’s because “it’s an honor to be invited.”

Too bad honor doesn’t pay bills.

I’d buy the line if the contests were community initiatives, or run by charities. But, what’ve we got? Mavericks is owned by a nightclub promoter, the BWWT is a group of football guys, Eddie’s name is owned by a “global assets management firm.”

I know the deal, they’ve sold guys on the idea that they’re building the sport, the money will come, just play along and you’ll cash in. But that’s bullshit. Too easy to blow out a joint, end a career. Take your $1000 check and go home, loser.

I know the deal, they’ve sold guys on the idea that they’re building the sport, the money will come, just play along and you’ll cash in. But that’s bullshit. Too easy to blow out a joint, end a career. Take your $1000 check and go home, loser.

And keep your mouth shut. Say something wrong and you’re done. Blackballed, not a team player, plenty of stooges out there willing to work for free. Risk their lives for rent money.

Not that surf cos are any better. BBC dropped an interesting little clip today, Silvana Lima talking about the physical standards to which you must conform in order to scrape together sponsorship dough on the women’s end.

Very interesting, I didn’t know she was breeding French Bulldogs to support herself. I dig frenchies, got one of my own. Very amusing little snort fart burp monsters. Closer to a cartoon character than a real animal.

It’s time the riders realize there’s no honor in letting a for-profit entity earn money off their labors. It’s just empty rhetoric. Yeah, you might be doing it for love alone, but they are doing it for money.

The mainstream contests don’t exist to showcase surfing, they exist because someone smells a healthy profit somewhere down the line. The contest scene will dry up and blow away the day it’s decided they’re a poor return on investment.

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Blood Feud: Me vs. Jim Heimann!

Slaps will rain!

Taschen is a wonderful publisher founded in Cologne, Germany. Their books are more works of art than mere pages sandwiched between covers. Who could deny The Pedro Almodovar Archives? Or Frank Sinatra has a cold? Expensive yes but not compared to the quality. Not compared to the approving looks you will receive from dinner party guests.

A new offering is simply titled Surfing. Let’s read about it!

This platinum tome is the most comprehensive visual history of surfing to date, marking a major cultural event as much as a publication. Following three and a half years of meticulous research, it brings together more than 900 images to chart the evolution of surfing as a sport, a lifestyle, and a philosophy.

The book is arranged into five chronological chapters, tracing surfing culture from the first recorded European contact in 1778 by Captain James Cook to the global and multi-platform phenomenon of today. Utilizing institutions, collections, and photographic archives from around the world, and with accompanying essays by the world’s top surf journalists, it celebrates the sport on and off the water, as a community of 20 million practitioners and countless more devotees, and as a leading influence on fashion, film, art, and music.

An unrivaled tribute to the breadth, complexity, and richness of surfing, this book is a must-have for any serious player on the surfing scene and anybody who aspires to the surfing lifestyle. As one surfing scribe has declared, “There has never been a book like this, and there will never be another one again.”

Edited by Jim Heimann, a cultural anthropologist and executive editor for Taschen America, it seems wonderful and would surely be a pleasure to own.

Except. Let’s examine this sentence a bit closer. “Utilizing institutions, collections, and photographic archives from around the world, and with accompanying essays by the world’s top surf journalists…”

And one more time, closer still. “…with accompanying essays by the world’s top surf journalists…”

WHAT!

Who the hell are these world’s top surf journalists? Certainly not me, apparently, if you can believe. I was not invited to participate in this unrivaled book. I was left on the sidelines standing shoulder to shoulder with Chris Binns and Tim Baker. Wait. Binnsy, were you invited? Tim, were you?

SHIT!

Am I the the world’s only top surf journalist who did not get the call?

Am I not a top surf journalist?

HELL!

Matt Warshaw, you are certainly included. Can you call your best friend Jim Heimann and tell him I’m coming to his house to dish out some good old fashioned Hawaiian justice.

SLAPS!

(buy here!)

 

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