…that life is fucking pointless and cruel, but also filled with gorgeous moments…
Brock Little’s death has me kind of bummed today, which is surprising since I didn’t know him. Saw him around Haleiwa once or twice, that’s it.
Sure, he was the charger my entire childhood, a guy I, everyone, looked up to. But I’m not usually wired for mourning. I think that when we die it’s straight into the void, may as well have never existed. Which is a prick thing to say in this context, because Brock as so well liked and admired and a lot of good people are really hurting after losing him.
Life is just so fucking pointless and cruel. For a guy like him to be undone by his own body, still super young, lickety-split, out of nowhere… I mean, the same thing could happen to any one of us at any time.
Life is just so fucking pointless and cruel. For a guy like him to be undone by his own body, still super young, lickety-split, out of nowhere… I mean, the same thing could happen to any one of us at any time.
I’ve dealt with my own mortality a few times over the past couple years, but not really on that level. Serious tones from a doctor, “You could die,” ain’t the same as “You’re going to.”
But laying in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of you and a virulent infection coursing through your bloodstream, it’s fucking terrible. Not really because death is bad, it’s coming for us all. But life is just so damn full of gorgeous moments, and I plan on having decades more.
I think that’s once you’ve really really really internalized the fact that you’ll eventually end the knowledge never truly goes away. You try to push it into the back of your mind, why deal with something unavoidable? Still there though, you’re gonna die.
I’ve mentioned before that my 89-year-old landlady lives on the property. She’s a great woman, awesome neighbor. I try to help her out where I can. At that age something as simple as moving a twenty pound bag is nigh impossible. For me it’s nothing.
She took a spill a month or two back. Pretty bad, tripped over her own feet, ended up with seventeen staples in her forehead. Otherwise she was fine, and remarked that she was just glad she didn’t break her hip. She’d seen it happen to friends, after that it’s just a slow decline then death.
Which makes it so much worse when she fell last week. Called the wife and I for help, we ran her to the ER, they sent her home the same day. Then she fell out of bed, called again.
A broken pelvis and seven broken ribs, and if I’m being honest with myself I know it’s pretty much the end for her. Healing injuries that bad take forever, you lose all your muscle, it’s a trial to get back. And at the tail end of your ninth decade there’s not much you can do. No real chance to weight train, when you’re frail at best even a minor injury is serious.
And, fuck, I’ve been hurt before, I know how terrible it is, but to know you won’t ever get back to form is so damn awful. It’s easy to say, yeah, she’s had a long full life. Big loving family, hospital room packed chock full of flowers and balloons. But she’s not a stupid lady, she knows what’s in store.
Not that you can choose your end, quick while you’re young and strong or slow when your old and feeble, but you can hope. I guess I’d hope for old and slow.
I don’t know what the take-away is here.
Just try to live in the moment. We’re all due our share of misery, try and make magic happen when you can.
You’ll either see it coming or you won’t, and one day it’ll be over.
Rory…I’m sure living with a lawyer you are already aware but if something happens to your landlord you can expect some sort of eviction notice poste-haste from her heirs. Of course it’s not the most appropriate discussion for us to be having but I have been there so being proactive is key.
We’re pretty close to her kids, so I’m hoping it won’t be an immediate thing, but, yeah, I am well aware of the potential.
just get a longer lease. Can’t kick you out unless you’re month to month.
I know, but it’s not really that type of situation. We had three weeks notice to drop our shit and get to Kauai from Oahu, and moving inter-island on short notice ain’t cheap.
So they let us in with no deposit, first month was free (in exchange for not cleaning or painting the damage the last tenant did), and our rent, while not cheap, is well below ridiculous Hawaii market rates.
Mmmmm… I can relate to your cynicism big time. But were non-believers and we live a “sad life”.
Most people posting RIPs in social media do it for their own egocentrism.
Also find people feel more the death of public figures (“legends” included, whatever that is) as they become more aware and fearful of their own mortality…
… which brings us back to egocentrism.
Ive seen my grandfather and father -in-law both take a last breath. Both times a single tear broke free. Every native culture has some form of spirituality…knowing that gives me hope. The condition of mankind, the greed, arrogance, war …makes me ask this question. Has our ego created the “never never land”?
ah Rory , what a sad life you lead , sounds like it could be pointless and cruel , you die and go straight into a void and may well have never existed….and there are a few gorgeous moments…is that your philosophy on life…..??
For some of us it was not about the gorgeous moments , of Brocks life , but who he was and is….is there any legacy from him as a human ,will be part of history and possibly inspire people to create new stories and acts of Gorgeousness !
How many kids do you have Rory , ahhh…..maybe without family and understanding that there is a bit more to life than self gratification , life could be soulless, pointless, cruel and become meaningless?
Now that’s the Maurice we’ve come to know… High horse preaching and all that shit. BTW is gorgeousness even a word? Hope not, it’s lame as fuck!
brag, high horse preaching or maybe an opinion based on a lot of life experiences , and gorgeous experiences along the way , but shit it hurts when ya fall off the horse , how do I get back up….??
Well my life experience has taught me not to pass judgement on others based on their system of beliefs but rather on the way they behave and also that horses are fucking stupid animals…
ah but you passed judgement on me , preaching from my high horse , and that horses are stupid , is that a judgement?
that was my point with RP , brock was a lot more than a few gorgeous moments , he was the entirety of his actions , so we agree?
Horses being stupid is purely based on my life experience. No need for agreement there as a mere IQ test would suffice to show horses to be slightly above chickens!
I agree that whatever Brock was he is no longer and that cancer is fucking lame! I’ll probably (surely really) end up having my words eaten by the dust to which I’ll join eventually.
Blood Feud: Parker v Maurice the enlightened annoyance
Even with kids, you’re not here, then you are, then you’re not. Why is that sad?
Interesting we have a family member with us who is old and not in a good way at all. He has really wasted the last 25 years of his life with bitterness and negativity. Now he is dying and really no one apart from 2 of us actually care. Just as much of a lesson to learn from Brock who lived his life well, as my father who lived it terribly.
Damn. Just damn.
I don’t know about pointless Rory, if another person’s death affects you so much then how is it possible to read it as pointless?
Because the ones affected also eventually die, rendering it pointless eventually… and if you’re dead everything is pointless to you anyway. Bye
well FFS just give up and leave , its all pointless??
Ah but you seem to misunderstand cynicism… it’s actually about living in virtue but not expecting some sort of karmic or godly payback after you’re gone. So in a sense, this being all there is, you want to stay and enjoy for as long as possible.
Guess we all fear death…
No we all don’t fear death , and we don’t all just live for just the gorgeous moments ..
(gently) Everything arises, everything passes. this is no reason to deny the possibility of meaning in our lives and beyond.
It’s the beyond that I struggle with…
Oh I don’t mean heaven or hell or whatever. I mean your grandparents and grandkids, the genetics and emotional atmospheres you help generate and perpetuate, the people you care about and who care about you. Actual flesh and blood.
I don’t tend to mourn much either, and don’t expect anyone buy my close family will miss me when I’m gone. As a family man though, I tend to look at guys like Brock with a tinge of sadness – every dying man should have kids by his side. Reproduction it the only reason we’re here.
We’ll miss you Trogan…
Reproduction is the only guaranteed afterlife.
Human beings adapt. We get used to life, but death is 4 sure. When you live in a situation that people die for nothing like here in Brazil, you just adapt cuz you can’t be so sad so often. When Ricardo dos Santos was murdered, it reminded me so many times it could be me, cops is one of the main reasons of death here… As such when Ricardo passed in a idiot situation like that it made me give thanks and praise to the most High cuz im alive… if i have to die slowly like Brock, he will be in death like he was in surfing, an inspiration and a role model to me. Acceptance is the biggest lesson Brock left for us.
The “most High” doesn’t give a fuck and you’ll die too, as will I, as did the little kid that died this morning in Syria who never got to spill his bullshit on social media!
Never thought too much about death until our daughter was born. Now my stomach lurches every time I hear news like Brock’s passing.
Was just about to say the same thing!! Before 3 kids mate thought I was invincible, and yep I get that pit in my stomach every time I hear an athlete or someone I respect has left. The kid factor changes everything.
Ahhh…the human experience. Wonderful ain’t she? The bad can be magic too.
Try to make magic happen when you can. That’s some good advice right there, dude.