“It's incredible that people can be so butt hurt over an opinion,” says Kelly Slater…

Does it surprise you, as it does me, how readily celebrities will engage with their fans, and foes, on social media platforms? Slater is the most prolific, although the San Clemente surfer Kolohe Andino must come a close second.

When Slater turned 44 one week ago, Kolohe posted a photograph on Instagram of Kelly accepting his first world title with the innocuous words: hbd to the greatest athlete of all time. any sport. the best of all time.

Innocuous to most. If you’re a little off your hinge, these words make you see a whole galaxy of stars and put you in unspeakable agony.

@scottlapeer kicks the game off with his dissent, suggesting the Canadian hockey player Wayne Gretzky is clearly the superior athlete (twenty years in the game, 60 NHL records) and quickly engages in a back and forth with @octavisu_flex.

“Ur a fucking idiot.”

“Are you just a little comment section coward who talks tough, then slinks back to Mom’s basement?”

“good one….. Bud. Stop talking, u sound stupid. How many Stanley cups does Gretzky have? A lot less then 11. 😂😂😂 Go sniff a jock strap.”

“can we all agree Gretzky competed against multitudes of better ATHLETES than Slater? Absolutely. Don’t be mad, little fella. Slater’s still good. Chin up there, little guy.”

“Who is we? U and your peewee hockey team? Lol stfu u kook. Slates is the most dominant athlete in any sport. A literal freak of nature. Not to mention his career is 25 years strong and still going. Gretzky hung up the skates after 21 years. Get ur facts straight ‘lil fella'”

“‘We’ is the general population of sports writers/reporters/scholars. Which sport is tougher on the body, hockey or surfing? Thus, Slates’ longevity. Comparing Stanley Cups with titles in an individual sport is a false equivalent, so logically, it doesn’t even make sense to measure that way. Gretzky holds more records in his sport, against a much greater amount of competitive peers, than your boy. What’s next? You gonna argue for Tony Hawk or Shaun White? Jack Nicklaus is even more dominant in his sport than your guy! Roger Federer! The list goes on, little buddy…”

The storm gathers momentum.

From @wrvsurfer26: Find me a hockey player that hits harder than pipeline, Waimea and jaws just to name a few and then maybe you would have an argument. @scottlapeer but obviously you have never surfed anywhere. if you can even swim to know the toll surfing takes on ones body especially when surfing world class waves like the pros do!

From @connieb_totally @scottlapeer first off, you clearly get delivered bags of dicks daily. Second off you only follow kolohe and other pro surfers so you can act like you are keeping up with the times in front of your Clove-cigarette wielding frat Bros who pretend they surf because they have been to the south Florida every summer since they were 9 and lastly if you’re gonna speak, and if your even allowed to speak at all (which should be reviewed by a committee or board of intelligence) you should never fuck with the King (@kellyslater) or his acolytes. And for that reason you should slam your dick in the car door and repent.

From @its_litstagram @scottlapeer by common consensus, It is clear that you are a flaming homosexual that knows nothing about surfing. Why are u even commenting on this picture? Dont u have a Gretzky fan page you can tug off to?

From: scottlapeerNo, @its_litstagram because I’m not gay. I just enjoy seeing you little surf boys get so mad and have temper tantrums over an opposing opinion.

And, then, after… minutes… the owner of the account makes a visit.

koloheandino22 @scottlapeer you’re tripping dude. surfing is by far the hardest sport in the world. just because the fact you have control over so little. and for someone to be that dominant in that difficult of a sport. it doesnt even compare to anything else. won in ever condition. from huntington to chopes. from lowers to the eddies. from lowers to pipeline to mavericks. he has literally left no stone unturned. and has dominated in every way in every condition for over 25 years. theres is absolutely no debate and ill never change my mind that kelly slater is the greatest athlete of all time.

And, finally, Kelly Slater. Hello!

@kellyslater @scottlapeer Gretzky is amazing. I’m just bummed he never beat anyone up. For that Chelios is my man. It’s incredible that people an be so butt hurt over an opinion. It’s no wonder this world is so messed up! @koloheandino22 thank you, my man. Much appreciated.

Read the long, long stream here. 

And do you remember when Kelly Slater had the closing section in Campaign? Watch here!