Hatred has percolated since 1998. Will it explode this year?
Some blood feuds are fresh, fiery, totally now. Like Gold Coast surfers vs. Mick Fanning. Such vitriol! Others, though, stretch back into the mists of time. Like Bob Hurley vs. Billabong! A generation ago, Mr. Hurley was a simple surfboard shaper with an eye for business. He acquired the United States license for Billabong and things were so on the up and up. Money flowed, everyone was happy. Except apparently Bob. He shocked the surf world by splitting with Australia’s favorite label in 1998 and started America’s favorite eponymous one minutes later, directly competing against his old friends. Nothing says “blood feud” like business!
The years passed, Nike acquired Hurley in 2002, started its own surf team and then dumped it, transferring all pros, some against their wills (there were rumors of tears!), to Hurley. And like that Hurley had a super team! John John and Kolohe, Filipe and Julian, Ace and Michel, Nat and Simpo. But of course there would be multiple World Surf League championship trophies hoisted under the banner of )(. Right?
Except then Gabs Medina won under the banner of Rip Curl and then Adriano de Souza won under the banner of ? And this year, Billabong is back, having assembled a super team of their own, gnashing well-worn teeth directly at Bob and his empire. Let us examine.
Hurley’s 2016 CT roster:
Julian Wilson
John John Florence
Filipe Toledo
Michel Bourez
Nat Young
Kolohe Andino
Ace Buchan
Conner Coffin
Miggy Pupo
Billabong’s 2016 CT roster:
Taj Burrow
Joel Parkinson
Italo Ferriera
Jack Freestone
Ryan Callinan
And whose is better? If you were a betting man would you say the year belongs to Hurley or to Billabong? Let’s bet, man!
P.S. If the above gentlemen were in a band instead of surfers what sort of music would they play? Joel would, for sure, be on bass. Jack lead vocals. Ryan on drums. Italo on rhythm guitar and Taj on lead guitar. Am I wrong?
Alejo Muniz is sponsored by Hurley too.. How could you forget, Chas? Best beard on tour.
italo on acordeon, parko on banjo, tb on washboard, flintstone blows the didgeridoo and ryan could play those clickitty spoons… unfortunately, vocals seems doomed to bogan…
nope. Taj looks like the sound technician.
Who the fuck is Ryan Callinan?
Who is Adriano’s sponsor/,I cant make out the logo?
pupos teeth would win.
Italo would blow the shit out of a saxophone
Hurley = Boy band from the 90’s
Billa= Folk band where they have 20 members but they keep quitting and replacing people
yeah, so if its Bong vs Nike, i think we all know who wins that one. Jack is the clear frontman, Italo drums, Parko on bass, and Ryan and Taj on the axes.
taj would play the triangle and italo the cowbell
Chas, what would be the name of the band? Such a musical group would need a name that would capture the group’s essence and project its virtue of strength and its concomitant glory… some suggestions:
Jack and The Rippers (as an homage to Full House)
Ciggie Crew (would have to buy TM from James B first, though)
B-Side Rote Smokers (only 2/5ths of group apply, unfortunately)
Middle-Aged Lesbians
ICB (Intergluteal Cleft Blow)
Burleigh Shafts
…let the world know what you think!
‘Bong had Parko’s Championship so there’s that.
Hurley, because ‘Merica
except 3/9 are from USA..John is hawaiian? depends who you talk to and they like to think they are their own country with their own flag. I say they’re communists
Mom John is from Jersey so you’re right…he aint an American.
Hurley’s team is way better overall, but Italo will out-place all but Filipe and perhaps JJF on tour.
Don’t forget, Andy Irons still rides for Billabong from the pillowy clouds of the heavens, as we’ll be reminded at every Billabong-sponsored event.
Thats a Dave Matthews cover band, no question.
Huge Taj fan, but at first I thought he was a middle-aged lesbian in that photo.
At first? I been starin’ for five minutes and I still think he’s a middle-aged lesbian in that photo.
Middle-aged is a bit harsh.
Alas middle age is harsh on most … although in our grinning guitarist’s case it would be less glaring with regular haircuts and an embrace of mature dress. That’s to say more Bondi, less Bunbury.
Is the 1st guy Parko or Walter from ‘The Big Lebowski’ film?
*the great…
Seems like Callinan is the one who looks like Ellen DeGeneres.
Hurley, definitely! Toledo, JJF, Julian Bieber, Kolohe’s Board Punches? Youth, Performance, Pulchritude, Passion! Exclamation points abound! Billabong, however, only has the Italian Ferrari going for them, with only two former ‘CTers’ animated carcasses and two potential One-And-Doners as support… yeah…
… Jack would accompany on keyboard for a few songs.