The day I fell in love with Joel Parkinson!

I finally get him and not in a homoerotic way!

It is a near spring day like any other in Los Angeles, California. Clouds speckle the warm enough sky. Cars drive down the streets going places. I check my phone. There is some fun news. The New York Times has a story on how Donald J. Trump cajoled his way into the Republican Party. He wanted to be accepted and so he spent a lot of money and was accepted. I post a picture on Instagram. Then I log on to the World Surf League and watch Kolohe Andino defeat Matt Banting and then I fall in love with an older brunette.

I remember when Joel Parkinson first came on to the professional surf scene. I am that old. He was a Coolie Kid, part of an exciting new Australian movement and even though I wasn’t Australian I liked what they represented though their spice soon wore off. I found the blonde one extremely boring. He called me a “fucking Jew.” I found the brunette very much more handsome but equally dull.

“How could people enjoy Joel Parkinson’s surfing?” I wondered to myself. And also out loud. “It’s smooth, whatever that means, but…what does that mean?” I didn’t really understand.

But today as I watch him surf ok on fairly fun Snapper and everything clicks into place. I totally get it. Every muscle of his body is perfectly aligned. Every sinew dropping, driving, spraying, reloading. His rail does not slide unless he wants it too. His arcs are clean. Consistent. He surfs absolutely beautifully.

Why didn’t I see this before? As a younger man I suppose my head was only turned by air and by power. As an older man my head is turned by grace.

Goddamn is Joel Parkinson graceful.

2016 Quik Pro: Round 3, Heat 2 Video
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Richie Collins' Paddling Glove
Richie Collins' Paddling Glove
10 years ago

Has anyone see yadin and conner together at the same time.? i think they have the same legs..

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago

World’s collide.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago

Jesus f Christ. You’re one of the finest surfers of the past 30 years, heir to the crown of Australian power surfing. You’ve won amazing surf contests and capped it with a world title that’s anything but a gimme. You’ve rode out beyond the imagined restrictions of your early life and done more than you’d ever have dreamed. But fucken none of it was worth shit really until Chas claimed you.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

and the funny part is that he claimed him on a day when Filipe clearly out Parko’d Parko.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

It was a great day for Joel Parkinson! One he will remember forever!

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

It’s that “gimme” mention that delates exactly what it was – a “joe should’ve won a title” title. Porta gave it to him all neatly wrapped with safety “graceful” turns to the beach…

Tom
Tom
10 years ago

Maybe Parko does not seem relevant because he is too smooth and most of the time appears to do it too easy? When he is on as from comments below he is on. But often his style does not suit exceptions maybe Bells Jbay and Snapper

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
10 years ago

conner curren?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago
Reply to  dickie toledo

No. Good but far to bland to be compared to Curran. I was getting angry watching v Italo… I thought he should have lost that round 2heat. Risk= Reward and Italo put it on the line.

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Also should’ve lost his R1 if you ask me… but the gifted heats is too long to list.

longtom
longtom
10 years ago

Chas, that was about the least graceful I’ve seen Parko surf, sir. He’s catching the forward rail. But maybe your appreciation is retrospective?
Thank god it has gone on hold, I’m a chicken baking in my own juices. Time for a surf.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Maybe it was compared to Jadson but it all really did snap. Like, yeah, I think you are right. All of his heats, all of his video parts flashed before my eyes and I completely understood for the first time ever.

Red
Red
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Watch his section in Stranger Than Fiction.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago

Sometimes, watching him struggle on Tour, I’ll be thinking he needs to retire, his surfing is just not relevant anymore; then other times, I’ll just watch and replay over and over again one of his video sections (despite the lack of progression). I still think his title was more Lifetime Achievement than not.

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago

His J Bay section in Momentum Under the Influence. Done and done.

yep
yep
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway

…and his air revo to open the bicycle is still relevant.

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago
Reply to  yep

The bicycle?

yep
yep
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway

from 2001, waves mag vid.

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago
Reply to  yep

Ah, don’t think I’ve seen that one. Can’t ever remember seeing it at the shop (ah pre web clip days) or even hearing about it.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago
Reply to  Seaman Staines

Gracias

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago
Reply to  yep

it’s really not. Maybe if he could do it today it would be.

Richie Collins' Paddling Glove
Richie Collins' Paddling Glove
10 years ago
Reply to  Trogan Fan

If you could do it today you would be relevant..

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway

That’s exactly the section I had in mind.

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago

I can’t tell you how many times 14 year old me got way over amped watching that just before paddling out in knee high shit wind slop.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway

Same here. For the longest while, I tried to emulate his style, but then I saw myself on video a few years later (after surfing El Cap)… needless to say, I was disappointed

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago

I can’t say that I’ve ever tried to emulate a certain person’s style but I can name about 50 people who I vowed to never surf like.

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway

he won the fucking jbay contest at 18


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