I am still a little confused about the World Surf League format. Like, when surfers lose in the second round they’re out of the contest right? The second round is not a no losers round right? I think.
And Kelly lost in the second round to Stu Kennedy who was riding a Firewire. Kelly owns Firewire. Stu owned Kelly. And is it time for the man to make a Fred Pattachia and smash his Slater Designs on the rocks and step away? I think.
It ain’t pathetic yet. Kelly still surfs but getting smashed by Stu does not really add much to the legend. So what do you think? Is it time for the eleven time world champ to hang it up? I’ll give you a hint if you want. Yes.
For many years, the Stab Commenter provided endless entertainment. He will be missed.
Bondi, Australia – The Stab Commenter, an influential and stylish rascal, died on Friday. He was 8.
His death was announced with the story HOW TO KEEP DRY WHEN IT’S HOT AND MUGGY that he was not allowed to post under, having been blocked by various administers and technocrats. Many were surprised that he held on as long as he did, seeing Stab itself died just over two weeks ago.
The Stab Commenter was a fierce guardian of racially-tinged free speech born during an Internet revolution and found his voice beneath stories of dubious merit. He soon became synonymous with the website and, toward its end, the only reason to visit.
“Without the Stab Commenter, there would have been no Stab, no Comments of the Week,” said Lex Pedersen, a longtime aide, close friend and later owner of Stab whose business died a few short days ago.
Pedersen’s ex-partner, Justin Cameron, added on Saturday that the Stab Commenter “had redefined the role” of the surf website, adding, “Later, in his long goodbye with Stab, he became a voice on behalf of millions of families going through the depleting, aching reality of Alzheimer’s, and took on a new role, as advocate, on behalf of treatments that hold the potential and the promise to improve and save lives.”
The Stab Commenter’s zenith came a short time ago when he was fed a rich, loamy diet of Words by Morgan Williamson™. His end shortly thereafter when the website he used to frequent died and was replaced by The Inertia.
Sochi, Russia is getting a wave pool! Will the city produce future world champs?
The Olympics are a grand, theoretical prize for cities around the world. When the selection process is underway mayors, governors, even presidents/prime ministers strut their civic jewels in hopes of landing either the Winter or Summer Games and showcasing their goods to the world. The reality may be a bit less rosy, massive tax increases, waste, graft, white elephants left behind, but please! A few eggs must be broken to make an omelette.
I was at the last Winter Olympics in beautiful Sochi, Russia and it was marvelous. Vlad Putin threw his weight behind building projects, cleaning and restoration, paving, fixing etc. Billions of dollars were spent and hundreds of millions went missing, lining the pockets of Mr. Putin’s best friends.
I wrote about the adventure for Esquire magazine. You can read some here, if you are inclined. And if you are not, let me summarize. Sochi was amazing! Both the mountain area and the Black Sea town. So Russian, so fabulous.
And do you know what? It is going to get even more fabulous! Rumor has it that American Wave Machines is plopping a wave pool down in the Russian Riviera! How fun is the wave pool craze? Every city from Amsterdam to Zamboanga can buy into our surf game. In Sochi, I even went to a strange, fake palm tree lined indoor swim thing. Maybe the wave pool will be there. Maybe it already is.
How will Russian surfers perform? Wide stances, I would assume. Thick ankles and posteriors thrust out. Hard to knock off, I would imagine. Possible future world champs.
You know the story of the shaper-turned-surfwear-stud Bob Hurley? How a teenager from Rhode Island earned his stripes at Huntington Beach, became a team rider for HSS, a shaper of renown (sleds for world champs Rabbit Bartholomew and Pete Townend) and then in his twenty-eighth year scooped the license for Billabong USA for $40,000?
Yeah, it’s a good one, and it improved with age.
Think about Hurley in 2016. The best surf team by miles (John John, Filipe, Julian Wilson, Kolohe, Carissa etc), striped polychrome trunks and wetsuits that swarm beaches. Oowee, it’s a heady perfume! You’d think Nike execs would have life-sized portraits of Bob Hurley on their walls and they’d stand dreaming in front of ’em every single goddamned night.
After Bob spent sixteen years turning Billabong into a hundred-mill-biz, he handed back the Billabong license to start the eponymous… Hurley, which he’d later sell to Nike for $120 million.
Think about Hurley in 2016. The best surf team by miles (John John, Filipe, Julian Wilson, Kolohe, Carissa etc), striped polychrome trunks and wetsuits that swarm beaches.
Oowee, it’s a heady perfume! You’d think Nike execs would have life-sized portraits of Bob Hurley on their walls and they’d stand dreaming in front of ’em every single goddamned night.
But word is, Nike has asked Bob to stop coming to work.
A well-connected insider wrote to BeachGrit:
“Rumour is the recent most Nike exec, of what has been a revolving door, has asked Bob to stop coming to work. He has been deemed disruptive as most of the staff are loyal to him. Whenever there is some issue, they run to Bob for clarity. They are trying to keep it all hush like Bob is still the man, blah blah. His car, which he always parked in the same spot at the office, is never there anymore.”
Does the idea of removing Hurley’s essential genetic code strike you as a foolish move?
Do you remember three years ago when Quiksilver president and CEO Bob McKnight was replaced by the man who pioneered the Disney Princess franchise, Mr Andy Mooney? What happened to Quik? Did rivers of gold follow or were share portfolios, careers and an icon ruined?
Or the hiring of Laura Inman from the discount chain Target to head Billabong?
Matt "Wilko" Wilkinson wears symbol of hate to the WSL banquet! Laughs ensues!
What is our world coming to? Far right/neofascist parties are riling Europe, Donald J. Trump’s message of ethnic purification is resonating in America and fun-loving goofyfooter Matt “Wilko” Wilkinson is bringing the KKK to Australia!
In case you missed it, Wilko dared pair a cowboy hat with with a bow tie and a pocket square at the World Surf League banquet a few days ago. And also a confederate flag belt buckle.
The confederate flag, which is really the Army of North Virginia’s battle banner, has become fraught with ugly in the United States. And do you not know your American history? Years ago this country told England to go to hell and strong, healthy slaves imported from Africa grew its mighty economy. They were put to work in the south, as the southern states had the plantations that required their labor. The years passed and good Christians in the northern part of the country thought, “Mmmmmmm. Slavery is maybe wrong.” And, of course this is all overly simplified, but it lead to a war between the states. The north vs. the south. The south flew the stars and bars over their military brigades and eventually lost the war.
For years the confederate flag was a symbol of southern pride, certainly laced with racism but widely accepted. Did you watch The Dukes of Hazzard? Do you remember the General Lee? There were no protests when Bo and Luke roared around Georgia. I can even recall some episodes where they had black friends.
Well, those days are over. These, the flag represents straight up racism, slavery, etc. to most and so the flag is being scrubbed. I am a westerner (Oregon/California) and white so have no emotional attachment to the thing but obviously get that it is a symbol of yuck and not a joke. Bubba Watson, southern golfer, actually owns one of the General Lees used in the television show and painted over its roof, telling reporters, “All my friends, nobody is offended by it, but now with all of the controversy going on, I felt like it was the right thing to do. Make a statement, make a gesture, whatever you want to call it.”
And Wilko? Was he tone deaf in his sartorial choice, blatantly racist, ironic, celebrating southern pride? No. And I don’t have time to think about it beyond that because far right/neofascist parties are really riling Europe and Donald J. Trump’s message of ethnic purification is really resonating in America. Strange times indeed and those wanting to gripe about a fun-loving Australian goofyfooter should maybe use their energy to house Syrian refugee families instead. Or to take the skinheads bowling.