Kelly lost in the second round to Stu Kennedy who was
riding a Firewire. Kelly owns Firewire. Stu owned Kelly. And is it
time for the man to make a Fred Pattachia and smash his Slater
Designs on the rocks and step away? I think.
Retire: Kelly just lost to Who
Kennedy!
By Chas Smith
Should Kelly Slater pull a Freddy P? (Hint:
Yes!)
I am still a little confused about the World
Surf League format. Like, when surfers lose in the second round
they’re out of the contest right? The second round is not a no
losers round right? I think.
And Kelly lost in the second round to Stu Kennedy who was riding
a Firewire. Kelly owns Firewire. Stu owned Kelly. And is it time
for the man to make a Fred Pattachia and smash his Slater Designs
on the rocks and step away? I think.
It ain’t pathetic yet. Kelly still surfs but getting smashed by
Stu does not really add much to the legend. So what do you think?
Is it time for the eleven time world champ to hang it up? I’ll give
you a hint if you want. Yes.
For many years, the Stab Commenter provided endless
entertainment. He will be missed.
Bondi, Australia – The Stab Commenter, an
influential and stylish rascal, died on Friday. He was 8.
His death was announced with the story HOW TO KEEP DRY WHEN IT’S HOT AND
MUGGY that he was not allowed to post under, having
been blocked by various administers and technocrats. Many
were surprised that he held on as long as he did, seeing Stab
itself died just over two weeks
ago.
The Stab Commenter was a fierce guardian of racially-tinged free
speech born during an Internet revolution and found his voice
beneath stories of dubious merit. He soon became synonymous with
the website and, toward its end, the only reason to visit.
“Without the Stab Commenter, there would have been no Stab, no
Comments of the Week,” said Lex Pedersen, a longtime aide, close
friend and later owner of Stab whose business died a few short days
ago.
Pedersen’s ex-partner, Justin Cameron, added on Saturday
that the Stab Commenter “had redefined the role” of the surf
website, adding, “Later, in his long goodbye with Stab, he became a
voice on behalf of millions of families going through the
depleting, aching reality of Alzheimer’s, and took on a new role,
as advocate, on behalf of treatments that hold the potential and
the promise to improve and save lives.”
The Stab Commenter’s zenith came a short time ago when he was
fed a rich, loamy diet of Words by Morgan Williamson™. His end
shortly thereafter when the website he used to frequent died and
was replaced by The Inertia.
He is survived by Donald J. Trump.
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Future WSL champs celebrate their coming wave
pool!
Surf: Sunny Sochi, Russia!
By Chas Smith
Sochi, Russia is getting a wave pool! Will the city
produce future world champs?
The Olympics are a grand, theoretical prize for
cities around the world. When the selection process is underway
mayors, governors, even presidents/prime ministers strut their
civic jewels in hopes of landing either the Winter or Summer Games
and showcasing their goods to the world. The reality may be a bit
less rosy, massive tax increases, waste, graft, white elephants
left behind, but please! A few eggs must be broken to make an
omelette.
I was at the last Winter Olympics in beautiful Sochi, Russia and
it was marvelous. Vlad Putin threw his weight behind building
projects, cleaning and restoration, paving, fixing etc. Billions of
dollars were spent and hundreds of millions went missing, lining
the pockets of Mr. Putin’s best friends.
I wrote about the adventure for Esquire magazine. You can read
some here, if you are inclined. And if you are not, let me
summarize. Sochi was amazing! Both the mountain area and the Black
Sea town. So Russian, so fabulous.
And do you know what? It is going to get even more fabulous!
Rumor has it that American Wave Machines is plopping a wave pool
down in the Russian Riviera! How fun is the wave pool craze? Every
city from Amsterdam to Zamboanga can buy into our surf
game. In Sochi, I even went to a strange, fake palm tree lined
indoor swim thing. Maybe the wave pool will be there. Maybe it
already is.
How will Russian surfers perform? Wide stances, I would assume.
Thick ankles and posteriors thrust out. Hard to knock off, I would
imagine. Possible future world champs.
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Bob Hurley's merits are numerous: surfboard shaper of
renown, creator of Billabong USA, later, the eponymous Hurley. You
could venture that he is a man who has discovered something like
the key to a good life. | Photo: Red Bull
Rumor: Did Nike Just Bench Bob Hurley?
By Derek Rielly
Can you imagine Hurley without… Hurley?
You know the story of the shaper-turned-surfwear-stud
Bob Hurley? How a teenager from Rhode Island earned his
stripes at Huntington Beach, became a team rider for HSS, a shaper
of renown (sleds for world champs Rabbit Bartholomew and Pete
Townend) and then in his twenty-eighth year scooped the license for
Billabong USA for $40,000?
Yeah, it’s a good one, and it improved with age.
Think about Hurley in 2016. The best surf team by miles (John
John, Filipe, Julian Wilson, Kolohe, Carissa etc), striped
polychrome trunks and wetsuits that swarm beaches. Oowee,
it’s a heady perfume! You’d think Nike execs would have
life-sized portraits of Bob Hurley on their walls and they’d stand
dreaming in front of ’em every single goddamned night.
After Bob spent sixteen years turning Billabong into a
hundred-mill-biz, he handed back the Billabong license to
start the eponymous… Hurley, which he’d later sell to Nike for
$120 million.
Think about Hurley in 2016. The best surf team by miles (John
John, Filipe, Julian Wilson, Kolohe, Carissa etc), striped
polychrome trunks and wetsuits that swarm beaches.
Oowee, it’s a heady perfume! You’d think Nike execs would
have life-sized portraits of Bob Hurley on their walls and they’d
stand dreaming in front of ’em every single goddamned night.
But word is, Nike has asked Bob to stop coming to work.
A well-connected insider wrote to BeachGrit:
“Rumour is the recent most Nike exec, of what has been a
revolving door, has asked Bob to stop coming to work. He has been
deemed disruptive as most of the staff are loyal to him. Whenever
there is some issue, they run to Bob for clarity. They are trying
to keep it all hush like Bob is still the man, blah blah. His car,
which he always parked in the same spot at the office, is never
there anymore.”
Does the idea of removing Hurley’s essential genetic
code strike you as a foolish move?
Do you remember three years ago when Quiksilver president and
CEO Bob McKnight was replaced by the man who pioneered the
Disney Princess franchise, Mr Andy Mooney? What happened to Quik?
Did rivers of gold follow or were share portfolios, careers and an
icon ruined?
Or the hiring of Laura Inman from the discount chain Target to
head Billabong?
Was that a good idea?
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Controversy: Wilko in the Ku Klux
Klan?
By Chas Smith
Matt "Wilko" Wilkinson wears symbol of hate to the
WSL banquet! Laughs ensues!
What is our world coming to? Far
right/neofascist parties are riling Europe, Donald J. Trump’s
message of ethnic purification is resonating in America and
fun-loving goofyfooter Matt “Wilko” Wilkinson is bringing the KKK
to Australia!
In case you missed it, Wilko dared pair a cowboy hat with with a
bow tie and a pocket square at the World Surf League banquet a few
days ago. And also a confederate flag belt buckle.
The confederate flag, which is really the Army of North
Virginia’s battle banner, has become fraught with ugly in the
United States. And do you not know your American history? Years ago
this country told England to go to hell and strong, healthy slaves
imported from Africa grew its mighty economy. They were put to work
in the south, as the southern states had the plantations that
required their labor. The years passed and good Christians in the
northern part of the country thought, “Mmmmmmm. Slavery is maybe
wrong.” And, of course this is all overly simplified, but it lead
to a war between the states. The north vs. the south. The south
flew the stars and bars over their military brigades and eventually
lost the war.
For years the confederate flag was a symbol of southern pride,
certainly laced with racism but widely accepted. Did you watch The
Dukes of Hazzard? Do you remember the General Lee? There were no
protests when Bo and Luke roared around Georgia. I can even recall
some episodes where they had black friends.
Well, those days are over. These, the flag represents straight
up racism, slavery, etc. to most and so the flag is being scrubbed.
I am a westerner (Oregon/California) and white so have no emotional
attachment to the thing but obviously get that it is a symbol of
yuck and not a joke. Bubba Watson, southern golfer, actually owns
one of the General Lees used in the television show and painted
over its roof, telling reporters, “All my friends, nobody is
offended by it, but now with all of the controversy going on, I
felt like it was the right thing to do. Make a statement, make a
gesture, whatever you want to call it.”
And Wilko? Was he tone deaf in his sartorial choice, blatantly
racist, ironic, celebrating southern pride? No. And I don’t
have time to think about it beyond that because far
right/neofascist parties are really riling Europe and Donald J.
Trump’s message of ethnic purification is really resonating in
America. Strange times indeed and those wanting to gripe about
a fun-loving Australian goofyfooter should maybe use their energy
to house Syrian refugee families instead. Or to take the skinheads
bowling.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
