Meet four dazzling surf moms!
Happy Mothers Day, yeah?
Weird holiday for me. Don’t speak to my own mother. I know I’ve mentioned it before. Terrible woman, doesn’t get to be a part of my life. But, still, once a year this day rolls around and kicks loose the ol’ “Why didn’t you love me, Mommy?”
You’d think that shit would go away, but I guess it takes therapy or something. Which I don’t go in for. Prefer not to put a name to what’s wrong with me. Last time got me handed a ‘scrip for lithium. No thanks, I prefer my drugs to be of the recreational variety.
Got the best stepmom on Earth though. Still need to ring her up, wish her well. Tried earlier but she was busy doing some crazy open ocean paddle.
Then it’s time to hit up grandma. Finally the mother-in-law. So it’s not like my life is terrible. Three great ladies who ain’t my wife is pretty good, I think.
Nice thing about holidays in general, easy work for the day. Pull together a few related clips, finish up early, go for a surf. Been damn fun the last few days. Just enough punch to go fast, not quite enough to make you hesitate. Which has made for some spectacular ass beatings and left me sore as fuck each morning. But that’s nothing a hot shower and a handful of ibuprofen won’t fix.
Check out these surfing moms! Listed in no particular order.
Keala Kennelly
She didn’t give birth to the kid, but she’s still a mom. Right? I mean, I don’t think Mothers Day is solely restricted to birth-givers. Don’t see a reason it would be. But gender dynamics are so confusing these days. I don’t really know what I’m talking about. Figure you should take the kindest position.
Lisa Andersen
The fact that Andersen got knocked up by a judge while competing on tour is pretty crazy. Not a great indicator of the judges’ abilities to avoid conflicts of interest.
But you can’t deny she among the best female surfers that ever lived. She was so far ahead of the curve. If you could travel back in time, kidnap her, force her to compete today, she’d still be winning events.
Bethany Hamilton
Bethany may be a bit too godly for my taste, but you just can’t ignore the fact that she’s a damn strong woman. Physically, mentally, whatever. Shark attacks, child birth, seems like there ain’t nothing she can’t come back from.
Not to mention her mind boggling ability to one hand paddle into bombs, and somehow retain her balance despite the loss of an arm.
Definitely the worst surfer on the list, but that’s facing some stiff competition. Mom John’s a pretty damn good longboarder. Tough too. I’ve seen her take some solid beatings out at smallish Pipe.
She’s also a single mother who raised three boys on the North Shore without a single one turning into a drug addict or thief. Which is a challenge. Lots of bad influences to contend with. I’m surprised she hasn’t written some sort of mothering handbook yet. She’s a smart lady, no doubt she could pump out a best seller.
There’s not really any video of her surfing floating around the web so you’ll have to make do with this short little nothing clip.
Too bad, because she does surf well.
fuck you rory, nobody care for your mom, any of them…
fuck, this site is so gay… nttawwt
How bout you fuck right off then pal
upvote for king’s ref…
What a fucking Trump! Nobody’s asking you to slurp her fucking pussy! Get over it, the world is big enough for every freak in it
I’d slurp it, no worries…
Thanks for putting it in perspective, you’ve just made my decision far easier. Teach your children well and the best of luck Fuego…
You didn’t did you?
no, he didn’t, and I see a deleting spree coming on my work here… hahahahahahahahahaha
Fuego said he got banned. Another one banished to Israel with Nick Dee. The horror.
I’m really sick of this ‘mod’ thing, really don’t condone fuego’s way of thinking gay trumping motherhood issue, but can’t digest negs’ censorship in any measure… this shit is so fucked, prince for king!
I’m sorry Sandy, nearly all of my spare time is taken up with tormenting my slave Caveira now. I’m ashamed of some of the things I say because I’m not a racist man but it gives me so much pleasure to enrage Caveira. I don’t like the censorship either but Negatron is like a father to me. He warned me that Fuego was close to getting the chop. I hope Negatron may forgive Fuego if I, his son, have a word to Fuego about his behavior.
don’t get me wrong, I’m all for fuego’s in this, maybe not for the actual intent but at least for the fact he’s allowed to intent… and the fact you put your cherished royalty on the line for it just add for how noble you are on seeking the righteousness…
Yeah I like being able to read a diverse opinion and watch the counter-arguments often sway that opinion. Fuego and I both find the most offensive things in life the funniest. It is a disease of the mind. Anyway, hopefully Negatron has a change of heart towards poor old Fuego. He nearly banned me awhile ago and probably still will soon.
You’ll have to dumb it down a lot more…
Yes. I did a little research on the mod panel saw some of his “work”on other non surf related sites. Your mate has 298 flagged comments (not down votes) you for example only have 17… And you’re not exactly MAry Poppins. That’s a hell of a lot of crap comments. It would be far easier to just blacklist people without saying a word like Over at STAB. that would also save me from disgruntled people stalking me across various social media platforms. But I take note, then give a few warnings… It’s the fairest way of doing a cunty job. I’ve seen too many forums die or turn to shit without good moderation. To be honest in the past I’ve given mods some serious hell to the point of temporary bans. (Key word folks, temporary) So I understand the outrage at times but fuck it. I’m BeachGrits no 1 fan and I’m doing the good lords work here for the love of the commentary game.
That’s interesting data! That is an extraordinary amount of flagged comments. Presumably he has posted similar stuff to what he does at STAB at less accommodating websites. Are you able to see my Holy 17 Comments that were worthy of flagging? It would be interesting to know where I’m letting the people down. Do you have any?
I cant see what comments were flagged but if you’re looking for advice maybe speak to Trogan Fan… he’s at a boggling 676 flagged comments. Olde Troges was quite the nasty mean troll back in the day but always with a combination of a point and wit.
Fuck a duck that’s nearly 1/10 of his comments. What an incredible body of work! When was the last time you got flagged?
1977, I trolled Steve Job over the merits of picking Apple when in fact Avocado was more suited…
I find it hard to believe he seems so reasonable.
what was his main point of attack?
Say, some AI type tribute glasshouse article… Picture Trogan throwing boulders through the panes… Truth mixed with a mean streak. He has mellowed somewhat.
holy shit, Trogan!
Am I? Wow. I always think of myself as fairly benign. I did have some trouble with Kolohe’s mom once – maybe she flagged me. And a guy named Andrew used to follow me around. I blame him.
I know, impressive numbers! In saying that, you and Bitter Guy are the only two with “High Rep” next to your names on my mod panel. I don’t know how that is worked out but it mustn’t tie in with the flagged comments.
Yeah a serial stalker with a chip on his shoulder could do some damage with the flagging function… unfortunately at this stage Disqus doesn’t show who flag’s comments.
Bitter Guy and I are pretty high repetition anyway.
Your call Neg, and I know it’s your pony and you can ride wherever the fuck you want, but I think you went too far.
I didn’t agree with him, I thought his views were so backwards as to be funny, and he was well handled by other commenters on here.
Warning, sure.
Banning was a step too far.
Unfortunately he’s been popping up on my radar for awhile now…
…and by teaching well you mean teaching negs’ pc way? no opposite allowed? fascism much?
Its easy to hide behind binary code! Wonder if you have it in you to speak that perspective in person. Or if you were in the line up or on the beach ear shot of her father.. could you? My guess you would think before speaking. You were crass.
Having a rough day?
You insulting Keala and her choices doesn’t hurt or overtly offend me, it just makes me cringe.
You’re on the wrong side of history with your views on lesbians. If you want to rag on peoples sexuality go ahead, but please be original and humorous. Dumb commentary can spread like a disease across a forum if not treated. A man like yourself with close to 6000 comments would surely be aware of that?
Not “dumbing” down but making race jokes. thumbs up legend
I’m glad he did. Most gay parents I know are solid. I can’t say the same for many straight couples.
Hey Fuegoin, we tolerate and respect you. It’d be nice if you could extend that to others?? That… and maybe ease up on dumbing down the comments section. Cheers!
i like you fuego, ye who looks like and has the intelligence of spent spermy condom on the sidewalk.
Ha don’t let me get in the way of your hate for her personally. That is what commenting is all about.
Feugs! I hate Rory’s pathetic, thinly veiled attempt at being politically correct as well but she is still a mother and deserves Mothers Day praise as much as any of em. Mothers Day is bloody meaningless anyway. Shoot the messenger, spare the dyke on this one, they’ve been through enough prejudice already.
few upvotes more earned than that, ever…
Great read Rory…cheers!
no, it’s not…