Jordy, Kelly’s Bestial Scorn, Day One, Fiji!

Come take flight into nostalgia's comforting time warp at the Fiji Pro!

Do you like taking flight through nostalgia’s comforting time warp?

The Fiji Pro, which ran through the twelve heats of round one today in good enough three-to-five Cloudbreak, fell to its knees for two old favourites, Jordy Smith and Kelly Slater.

Jordy left speckles of dried blood on the jerseys of his opponents, Taj Burrow, who is competing in his last-ever WCT event, and the tawny-haired goofyfooter Adrian Buchan.

Jordy knows the kink of judging better than anyone. The full-wraps, the two brawling turns instead of the fat boring business turns, oh, let me tell you, it gets the judges off their cushions, their hearts feeling a thrilly quickening.

Afterwards, Jordy said, “It’s on! it’s on! The waves were flippin‘ cooking! It’s so bonkers right now!”

Examine Jordy’s nine, here.

The reverie of seeing Jordy as comely stud was interrupted two heats later with the highest scoring heat of the round. Kelly Slater, Kolohe Andino, Sebastian Zietz, averaged almost seven-and-half per wave.

Kelly, riding a lower-rockered version of the Webber banana, looked as happy as a new divorcee eyeing a young soldier on leave from one of America’s wars. Panting, Kelly locked his thighs, and put that damn five-ten Webber… everywhere he wanted. When these surfboards are warmed up fully, “He feels connected to the board from nose to tail,” the shaper had told me a couple of weeks earlier.

Kolohe’s fierce eyes and sandy coarse mopped head gave him the aura of a jungle cat and, but for a wave that extinguished itself prematurely with ten seconds to go, would’ve put out even Kelly’s brush fire.

Watch that heat here!

Fiji Pro Round 1 Results:
Heat 1: John John Florence (HAW) 10.33, Alejo Muniz (BRA) 9.33, Davey Cathels (AUS) 8.60
Heat 2: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 13.76, Ryan Callinan (AUS) 12.56, Jack Freestone (AUS) 9.94
Heat 3: Jadson Andre (BRA) 14.60, Stuart Kennedy (AUS) 12.67, Gabriel Medina (BRA) 12.26
Heat 4: Keanu Asing (HAW) 13.04, Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 12.56, Josh Kerr (AUS) 10.26
Heat 5: Miguel Pupo (BRA) 15.23, Italo Ferreira (BRA) 15.10, Alex Ribeiro (BRA) 8.63
Heat 6: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 11.73, Tevita Gukilau (FJI) 8.17, Kanoa Igarashi (USA) 4.84
Heat 7: Matt Banting (AUS) 10.34, Julian Wilson (AUS) 9.16, Conner Coffin (USA) 3.57
Heat 8: Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 15.60, Mick Fanning (AUS) 11.90, Kai Otton (AUS) 8.47
Heat 9: Jeremy Flores (BRA) 12.67, Nat Young (USA) 9.70, Dusty Payne (HAW) 8.46
Heat 10: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 16.67, Adrian Buchan (AUS) 15.44, Taj Burrow (AUS) 10.44
Heat 11: Adam Melling (AUS) 11.26, Michel Bourez (PYF) 11.14, Caio Ibelli (BRA) 8.60
Heat 12: Kelly Slater (USA) 16.13, Kolohe Andino (USA) 15.90, Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 12.60

Fiji Pro Round 2 Match-Ups:
Heat 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Tevita Gukilau (FJI)
Heat 2: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) vs. Alex Ribeiro (BRA)
Heat 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Ryan Callinan (AUS)
Heat 4: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Alejo Muniz (BRA)
Heat 5: Mick Fanning (AUS) vs. Kai Otton (AUS)
Heat 6: Nat Young (USA) vs. Dusty Payne (HAW)
Heat 7: Caio Ibelli (BRA) vs. Taj Burrow (AUS)
Heat 8: Sebastian Zietz (HAW) vs. Kanoa Igarashi (USA)
Heat 9: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Josh Kerr (AUS)
Heat 10: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Stuart Kennedy (AUS)
Heat 11: Adrian Buchan (AUS) vs. Jack Freestone (AUS)
Heat 12: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Davey Cathels (USA)