Is WSL CEO Paul Speaker crying into his casual Friday loafers?
Surfing magazine, sister magazine of now quarterly Surfer and affectionately called “The Bhagavad Gita of the Sport” has reported that Mick Fanning may have injured his ankle during a surf and might be out of the J-Bay Pro.
The World Surf League and Rip Curl have spent their energies capitalizing on the shark attack seen ’round the world. Who could forget the WSL’s moody “We were always coming back…” spot with Mick exiting triumphantly from a real but also metaphorical cave. And Rip Curl’s moody “First surf” with Mick standing in the morning fog, bravely and gamely paddling out like a true warrior.
If true, if Mick is indeed out, how much does that hurt the bottom line?
Does it hurt as much as a shark attack?
Maybe!
The non-surf masses will not busily YouTube video highlights of heat 1 round 8’s Ace vs. Kolohe vs. Jadson. Unless one of them gets eaten by a shark.
Which makes me wonder. What is the biggest dry hump in sporting history?
Dave Dravecky throwing his arm off?
Pete Rose’s 4256 Hall of Fame-less hits?
Sam Bowie?
David Eggers?
Can you blame the dude? Good lord, leash bite, shark encounter, shark attack, call it whatever the fuck you want, it was serious. Very serious. Not many people experience something like that, hardly anyone actually. That damn WSL commercial was such a joke, and this has to be karma for them. Fucking vultures. There must have been a sighting, or that new gear that they are surely testing in the water showed that there are a shit ton more sharks in the water than anyone imagined. Being in the water in large numbers during a free surf is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum as sitting there with 1 or 2 other dudes in the water. Fuck that noise.
Chas I just wanted to know what colour roses Paul Speaker will be asking for in his chauffeur driven limo in South Africa or does he go with the Protea as the national flower?
Otherwise calling MARKETING on fanning
whats the caliber of pussy micks been nailing since his divorce? we want to know!
Any odds its not a vagina?
Yeah, Elton fooled us for a while as well!
How good would that be. I mean…if the WSL actually cares about real numbers it would be the greatest!
Dave Dravecky throwing his arm off?
Pete Rose’s 4256 Hall of Fame-less hits?
Sam Bowie?
Translation for non-American audiences?
Please.
Dave Dravecky was a pitcher whose arm broke while throwing a pitch, sounded like a gun shot. YouTube it.
Pete Rose- All time Major League hit leader banned from baseball and hall of fame for gambling.
Sam Bowie was picked ahead of Jordan,was a bust.
thank you Sir.
These american sports can be confusing for a global audience. Luckily we have pro surfing to unite us.
Harold did such a wonderful job! Thanks!
Don’t forget…after a comeback Dravecky eventually had his entire arm, shoulder and all amputated.
Should Johnny Manziel make the list?
I don’t think so, many scouts felt he was too small and was a product of his system. Ryan Leaf would for sure; debates over him or Manning, second overall pick, bad attitude, total bust, drug problems and jail time.
I’ll be watching. Got to see what Alex Ribeiro does.
Who?
EXACTLY!
so Mick MAY have injured his ankle and MIGHT not be able to compete. This reminds me a lot of what NFL teams do with star players. While their primary motivation is to keep opposing teams in the dark, the sports broadcasting networks eat it up and talk endlessly about the “what-if’s” if so-and-so doesn’t play on Sunday. With so much hype surrounding Mick’s Round 1, Heat 1 return to the scene of the leash bite seen round the world, would anyone in Mick’s camp go on some clandestine operation tapping on the shoulder of a Surfing writer to announce an injury nearly a week out from day one of the waiting period. I call bullshit. Mick surfed once as a warm-up and this provides reason why we won’t see him till day one, round 1, heat 1. I’m sure surfing at J-Bay gives him unpleasant flash-backs so while other tour pros are consistently doing warm-up surf sessions, Mick now has a workable excuse that is not far-fetched and while it may lead some to saying he’s cowardly backing out, Mick knows its really only about probability of getting bitten if on land vs. in the water, and most importantly……..the stage is set for a theatrical return where all the questions and doubts were cast, and Mick showed up and shut them up…..Paul Speaker used to work for the NFL.
Your story is, like, 8x better than mine.
We’re saying the same thing, just attacking it from different angles.
People love fucking drama, just as much as we get into arguments with our ladies for post drama fucking. Its satisfying on many levels.
I kinda feel bad for Mick cause I’m thinking he had real shitty nightmares the night after his “First Surf”, and woke up all fucked up in his head. I’m sure the wagons were circled before Mick jumped ship and a plan was hatched. I don’t fault him for it if true. Shit would freak me the fuck out too.
He’s just honoring the WSL’s non-attendance policy.
Also…Can we nominate wildcards to be sacrificial shark bait/ chum (and not Turpel or Strider’s pecs!)?
Torn labia?
Alana blanchard.