Make America Mahalo Again!
Make America Mahalo Again!

Politics: Hawaii doesn’t matter!

Rory Parker discusses the upcoming United States election and Hawaii's (non) importance!

I’m watching a bit of the Republican National Convention. Very interesting. Watching the republican party turn itself into a laughing stock is good fun. Crowd the handful of minorities present up front. Some purple haired black broad from California is screaming for Trump. If she gets her wish it’ll be the last time she’s in the front of anything.

I’m very happy I can sit this election cycle out. Whether anyone’s vote counts is up for argument, but if you live in Hawaii your presidential vote definitely don’t matter for shit. State’s solid democrat, always. We’ve only got four electoral votes out of a total of five hundred and thirty eight. And our polls don’t close until six hours after the East Coast. The race is decided while we’re still standing in line.

The stupidest people in Hawaii are up at the moment. Some snowbird haole throwing a shaka off to the side. Shrill looking senior slag with lemon lips next to him. Trotted out a token Hawaiian (maybe?) guy to say, “Mahalo.”

But this state would never vote for a party that’s all about cutting entitlements. People would starve. Which’ll happen when a full time wage job pays below the poverty line.

The real fucked up thing about this election? It’s probably in my best interest to support Trump. I’m an upwardly mobile straight white guy. And my lizard brain is always telling me, “fuck everyone else.”

But I don’t really see a reason to make life easier. Turning the difficulty down wouldn’t really make life better. Probably worse.

It is amusing when the most fervently anti-commie people are super stoked about building a wall on our border.

We’re here because they courted the Tea Party crazies, right? Though I guess a room full of ugly old white people supporting something hateful ain’t nothing new. Just a slightly different spin this time.

Which reminds me of a good general rule by which I live. If you ever find yourself chanting along with a roomful of people you should really stop and evaluate what you’re doing. Take a good had look at your beliefs. Because unless you’re at some sort of good natured sing-a-long there’s a solid chance you’re lending support to something that’s gonna turn ugly, fast.

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oceanmnt
oceanmnt
10 years ago

Rory, clearly your not Hawaiian enough. The real Hawaiians don’t vote, not for idiotic reason which you listed, but out of protest, due to the unjust and undemocratic overthrow of their Polynesian Monarchy, and claiming Hawaii as a sovereign state. Voting is just a way of saying we are part of the US. You see, if you don’t recognize defeat, did it ever really happen?
I’m going to go reward this sweet post by buying some Outerknown.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
10 years ago

Rory, I have a bet with my girlfriend. Was your line “If she gets her wish it’ll be the last time she’s in the front of anything,” in reference to Rosa Parks, or no?

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago

Not Rosa Parks, specifically. But, yes, it was a back-of-the-bus crack.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

someone’s got a foot job coming their way!

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago

http://www.snopes.com/2016/…
great blokes!!

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago

hmm so , what has the democratic process delivered us ?

the 2 worst candidates in US political history, Clinton who is part of the system , which means more of the same or Trump , who has no real visible connections to the political system but who has failed business’s , empty rhetoric on just about every meaningful political subject , but when you read how Jeffrey Edleston , know pedophile , and Donald respect each other because they are similar in their attitudes towards women ….ahhh, read ….http://http://www.snopes.com/2016/06/23/d...

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

As deep as trumps tiny hand in an underage vagina?

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

And a bankrupting trustafarian never made a good, anything, look at Atlantic city his shining accomplishment. Now abandoned left to rot. I’m seeing a pattern.

paulo de tarso
paulo de tarso
10 years ago

“Extra concern. The resident Steve Thacker load a rifle and a pistol in a square in Cleveland, where it is allowed to walk with guns in public – JIM URQUHART / JIM URQUHART / REUTERS”

It is a citizen … in broad daylight, with an automatic rifle and a pistol, loaded …
Surely it will make shots in Dump honor…

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

I’ve been practicing making arrow heads to kill varments by making fins, if i can make a bonzer set i can make a fireable projectile because after all the trumps unload the ammo in the sky the night of his “election” were going to need skills like these to eat. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

See, left, right, whatever, we can all agree that they’re all cunts and we need: 1. more political parties representing a wider spectrum of views; 2. big money out of politics; 3. a democratic process other than an 18th-century electoral college thing; 4. A functional congress and supreme court.

That said, I’d bet on armageddon first, so for now we’ll have to smoke our metaphorical and literal pipes and sit on our hands.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago

Vote with your dollars boys and one girl “Jen Se”!

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

I believe that is the definition of “politician.”

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

What about the other guy? A model of benevolence and egalitarianism, no doubt.

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago

So Putin endorses him as does Boris Johnston , but I agree that without corruption and deceit , as the WMD were starting a war that’s claimed a million lives , made ex republicans rich thru haliburton,,,,,,al politics , better the devil you know?

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago

does that mean Prison for Bush/Blair and Howard? It was reported in the Huffington Post , that Trump has been charged with rape of a 13 year old , with his well known pedophile mate!

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Respeck.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago

Rory, stranger things must have happened at some point…but I do suspect that life with Trump as President isn’t going to be easier for anyone except him.

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

the race war will be at an all time high, muslim children born in america will now become radicalized due to his racist spew, white trash america will come out in full fledge KKK style rallies, ISIS won’t even bother with us because the cops just kill us anyway.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

This makes sense. Sadly.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

ah, but the truthiness scale on campaign claims shows Hillary as far more truthy than Trump, who is generally the guy with his pants on fire.

Trump: http://www.politifact.com/p…
Hillary: http://www.politifact.com/p…

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

when you say you’re an upwardly mobile white guy, you really mean you’re a white guy married to an upwardly mobile woman, yes?

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

Aw shit, I liked you so much yesterday.

Michael Cera's Moustache
Michael Cera's Moustache
10 years ago

America, the rest of the world is viewing this as your I.Q test…..it’s not going so well at the moment

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago

Funny and True!

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago

fuckin right! thats why i dont vote! fuck the system!

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

by not voting , you actually are giving more space to the rabid right , and lose your right to whinge about the system. If your are not part of a solution , you are the problem!

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

but it’s rigged anyway. preaching to vote means you are brainwashed by the system

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

there’s an old saying ,”keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” yeah we have a broken system , but one of main reasons is apathy amongst younger voters , and people believing they can have no voice in their future , and that’s what a certain part of the system wants , people feeling disconnected, like a lemmy!


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