Come meet Lawrence J. Burke II, the oldest adult learner on record and founder of Outside magazine!
The adult learner confuses me to no end. His adopting a very awkward dance late in life only to look foolish and never ever have any fun and get hurt. Her choosing to be an asshole, and only an asshole, with no hope of improvement. Ever.
I wrote about my confusion earlier and suggested the masochistic impulse that drove the adult learner to look foolish and be an asshole probably belied a deeper, very dangerous flaw and they should most likely all be killed. Or sent to live together in Tasmania.
And just this morning I read about a 73 year old man who is learning to surf and got his two front teeth punched out of his head by his board’s rail! He writes:
But I’m getting off to a rough start. After a few good waves during the afternoon session our first day, I somehow overlook a couple of kids playing with their mother in waist-deep water. When I hop off the board a little too close to them, the mother scowls at me, her eyes saying, “It’s a five-mile shoreline, you jerk, why are you ten feet from us!” Still focused on the tots, I reach down to grab my board when a wave suddenly flips it up into the onshore wind. The board’s rail slaps hard into my face, slicing my inside upper lip and knocking out my two front teeth. “What the fuck!” I yell. I had totally forgotten an important part of Surf Simply co-owner and instructor Harry Knight’s advice about not letting the board get between the wind, the water, and me.
The best part of all, this toothless masochist is Lawrence J. Burke II, founder of Outside magazine! The perfect King of Adult Learners!
A few years ago I got into a blazing Twitter war with Outside’s editorial staff. I made fun of them for wearing Tevas and living in New Mexico! I can’t remember what they said back but the fact that they engaged made me so happy with them.
And I’m sure Tasmania’s adult learners will be happy with their king.
Long live Lawrence J. Burke II, the first of his name and also last!
Read about his experience here!