Where's the barrel?
Where's the barrel? | Photo: Michael Theis/ABJ

Wavegarden: Worst investment ever?

The newest Wavegarden park opening has been delayed in Austin, Texas. Because it sucks? Or because it is maybe set to amaze?

Wavegarden technology, like Adriano de Souza, had minutes to enjoy the spotlight before Kelly Slater swung his mighty sledgehammer and crushed both hopes and dreams. Do you remember Surf Snowdonia? Do you remember the slightly crumbly yet still dreamy manmade waves that inflated our sense of the the future? Do you remember the little Brazilian man lifting his arms in triumph on Pipeline’s sands?

Don’t worry. Neither does anyone else.

Anyone not named Doug Coors.

The beer empire heir caught the Wavegarden pitch and 160 acres in Austin, Texas. His surf park, NLand Surf Park, was set to bring Texas-sized smiles to the southern United States starting in Spring 2016. It is now deep summer and the park is not open and the parking lot is not finished. Let’s read from the Austin Business Journal:

Plans for the park were first revealed in 2015. Developers originally hoped to open the park by spring 2016 but that date has been pushed back. Coors said in a statement to surfing news website Surfline that the park would not open until “early summer.” In a brief statement July 7, NLand Surf Park spokesperson Chris Jones said there was not much to report on the opening date.

“We haven’t shared any specific information about the park opening yet,” Jones wrote.

In aerial photos taken July 7 by Austin Business Journal, the lagoon appears nearly finished. However, other aspects of the park such as the parking lot are still incomplete.

The rectangular lagoon is bisected by a boardwalk that stretches its length. The wave generating equipment is housed underneath this boardwalk. The park will use Wavegarden Inc. equipment to generate its waves. The equipment creates waves by drawing a hydrofoil through the water at speed. While we were flying overhead Thursday, the park’s operators appeared to be testing the wave generating equipment, with a line of waves emanating outward from the boardwalk, its long crest traveling down the lagoon.

And what do you imagine has stalled construction? Could it be they are trying to figure out how to swap out Wavegarden technology for Kelly Slater’s? Maybe?

But I also had another thought. What if Wavegarden is actually better than Kelly’s pool? What if they are dialing Austin up, working out the kinks, crafting a wave that is actually bigger than a normal sized man? What if they are attempting to VHS the Kelly Slater Wave Company?

The videotape format wars of the 1980s were so great! Two technologies, VHS and Betamax, smashed into each other. VHS eventually won even though it was worse than Beta. Or was it? Who cares! The consumer was the victor. Maybe.

In any case, Doug Coors and his Austin waterbaby will have five minutes to steal the spotlight back from Kelly Slater when they open. If the pool churns out what we saw in Wales it will be game over. But if the wave surprises us with its size and power…if it actually has a trough…then game on!

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ADR
ADR
10 years ago

Nice to see they’ve gone with muddy, estuarine look like all the others. Maybe they can put some bull sharks in there as well?

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

You’re giving away all your intellectual property, Nailer!

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago

ha ha Nail and here I was thinking its main drawback is that it is Shit.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago

Don’t give it to Kelly! Give to us! BeachGrit’s first wave pool is set to open in San Clemente in a few months! It’s called “Trestles” and we actually don’t need a backwash mitigation system but a Brazilian mitigation system! Can you tweak?

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago

Wow, PB can do basic stats… with the aid of Excel!

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
10 years ago

VHS won because Porn adopted that format. Same for blu-ray over HD Dvd. So whatever company gets a porn made at it first wins. Its that simple

Otto
Otto
10 years ago

Maybe extra time is needed to brainstorm a better name than “NLand Surf Park”.
If you’re gonna say “Inland”, then just fucking say it! Trying to have some lame marketing/branding take and call it “NLand” falls short and opens you up to way too many questionable and poignant observations like….what does the “N” stand for? You can’t get the pronunciation of “In” by using the pronunciation of “N”. That’s fucking stupid.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Otto

You are so smart and also right. I had no idea that N was even supposed to stand for “in.” I had no idea what it was supposed to even mean.

Otto
Otto
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Even Wavegarden conjures deductive logic….in my garden I place manure to get my “__________” (fill in the blank) to grow. Wavegarden is destined for shitty waves. Shitty design, shitty locale, shitty name…..shit howdy, you bet shitty waves.

Travis Bible
Travis Bible
10 years ago

Chas I think permitting and other bureaucratic issues were the root cause of the delay.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Travis Bible

You don’t believe there is any way this new one could surprise us?

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

No. In fact, I seriously doubt KS is losing any sleep (or thought?) over this. Quite the contrary. The delay is probably due to Wavegarden begging Kelly to sell them his wave-making technology.

Stevo
Stevo
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

it might just be a big pond…
http://www.mystatesman.com/…

wincy
wincy
10 years ago

This is the least useful article I have ever read.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  wincy

I would be honored if this was actually true but I know, for a fact, that I have written articles that make this one look like…like…ummm The Secret!

wincy
wincy
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

i got drunk last night and didnt turn up at work today, for the record.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

i love secrets as well as keep a good secret. The problem is I don’t have anyone to share mine. Chas? Only problem with that is I don’t think you can keep a secret and you would turn my secrets into a book. Make a profit leave me secretless holding all these unsecrets.

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago
Reply to  wincy

You obviously didn’t read the I Hate Chas article.

wincy
wincy
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway

i tried to it was beyond me

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway

You didn’t think the math in there was impressive? That PB actually deduced how the judging is meted out?

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Full disclosure, math has never been my strong suit so I got bored and quit reading. Send me some adderall and maybe I’ll be able to sort through it.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago
Reply to  wincy

Read Sea Snail long comment.. worth the read!


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