It's fritzed beer meets expressionist art! Alex Knost,
what do you make of him?
Watch: Metal Neck I and II!
By Derek Rielly
Gluttonous expression by Andrew Doheny, Ford Arch,
Noa Deane and pals!
Do surf movies give you a mental lethargy? So
many bangers, so much serious, but maybe not enough of
surfing’s bewildering, and yet vital, imperfections?
Newport Beach’s Andrew Doheny, who is almost twenty four years
old, is anxious around strangers, enjoys
speed-walking, drinks whiskey and Diet Coke on aeroplanes and
admits to getting… bummed…quite a lot.
The Metal Neck series of films by Matt
Tromberg, are fiercely egotistical and completely
independent of brand influence. Whether or not you want to watch
forty minutes of Christian Fletcher (a masterly cut featuring banks
of archival), Doheny’s frontside tail throws, Creed McTaggart, Noa
Deane, the mascot Metal Jimmy, Ford Archbold and co, is your choice
to make.
I dip in, I dip out, finger hovering on the FF arrows.
Music by Lou Reed, Judas Priest and more! (Don’t you love a
world without effective music copyright?)
This was emphasised today when the noted surfboard shaper
and surf industry titan, Mr Bob Hurley, yeah, the same name you’re
wearing on those lightweight pinched-hip trunks, had a falling out
with Hawaiian Airlines.
Kelly Slater and Mason Ho were also quick to damn the
airline.
Hurley announced to his 21k followers (for 400-ish likes):
I get happy when I see this logo. I love @hawaiianirlines
BUT, recently had a horrible experience. Normally airlines charge
extra for surfboards. We all expect it. Had three small boards in a
23 pound bag. They only allow two… even itty bitty ones. Was told
in Honolulu that it’s not possible to put them on the plane. I
offered to pay extra. Not possible says the manager. “Two is da
rule.”
I said, “It’s possible. I travel ton and weight is the
litmus test… she said this one time she would do me a favour… let
me pay for two bags although it was one and she would look the
other way… when I said… BUT… I felt like I might get arrested.
Super bad vibes… Not another word… I know a lotta surfers that will
no longer fly Hawaiian. I would be so happy to help with a
practicable and profitable policy… but they have not
asked.
So sad for me.
I don’t like doing stuff like this but I reached out to
Hawaiian and they ignored me. Such a bum out.
Be careful cause you will get busted for being smart and
honest. #dontflyhawaiianairlines.
Kelly Slater, whom Hurley tagged, duly lit up on Hawaiian to his
one-point seven million followers (a disappointing 4500-ish
likes).
“Yep Hawaiian air is blownnnnnnnnnnn. To get my 3 boards on the
plane I had to pay extra and tell them I shaped the boards myself
in a art class in school.”
“This topic just baffles me… @hawaiianairlines should
rectify their policy. It’s ridiculous and a default profit racket.
They made over $70M last year in oversize/overweight baggage
charges.”
Mason Ho was similarly outraged, if more poetic.
“Yep Hawaiian air is blownnnnnnnnnnn. To get my 3 boards on
the plane I had to pay extra and tell them I shaped the boards
myself in a art class in school.”
Three hundred other people announced similar tales of woe
involving Hawaiian Airlines although @fowhygundie had a more
humanist take: “@kellyslater sorry that happened. I’m sure they
were just doing their job. By posting this you are also putting
thousands of local jobs at risk.”
Hard to fault a contest with six-foot tubes and an
invite list that includes Mason Ho (here), Damo Hobgood, Clay Marzo
and Bruce Irons. What makes it even better? The superbly named Mega
Semahdi beat 'em all! | Photo: Rip Curl
Compare: Padang Cup V US Open!
By Rory Parker
What do you prefer, tube wrangling or whoring at
the trough?
Whoo-ee! Yesterday’s event at double Padang was
something else.
Barrels galore. Mason Ho’s wave riding genius. Bruce Irons on a
ten-point drainer. An event sponsor that used slave labor to make
it’s products. They don’t anymore though. Or they don’t think they
do. Can’t be sure, really, when you’re chasing down the cheapest
labor possible.
No big deal. Just issue an “oopsie doodle” press release and
move on. No one really cares.
Good things about the comp:
Tons of local surfers. One of them won it! Mega Semadhi smoked a
field of killers in world-class surf. Quite the notch on the bed
post.
Good waves. I forgot that contests could have those. Powers that
be pimp the shit out of the US Open. This one here’s a standalone
exhibition.
Great commentary. I don’t know who most of the Aussie yammer
heads were, but I liked their deal. Way better than the big stage
corpo boys. And the ever effervescent Dave Wassel did
his part. I love him so. My wife says she reminds him of a cross
between Huell Howser and Mr Peanutbutter. Which I’m fairly sure was
meant as a compliment.
Good waves. I forgot that contests could have those. Powers that
be pimp the shit out of the US Open. This one here’s a standalone
exhibition.
Bad things about the comp:
Poor production values. Not a big deal, still plenty good. But I
would’ve loved a channel cam.
In-stream commercials. My ad-blocker can’t do shit about those.
Clever people working for Rip Curl. WSL still hasn’t figured that
shit out.
“Having joined forces with the WSL as an officially sanctioned
specialty event, the 2016 Rip Curl Cup will feature the most
exclusive field in event history…”
If Rip Curl paid the sanctioning fee they’re a bunch of fools.
Not a single current ‘CT competitor on the roster. Because they
were all busy scrapping for money in Southern California like a
bunch of whores at the trough.
2016 Rip Curl Cup Final Results:
1. Mega Semadhi (IND) 19.00
2. Damien Hobgood (USA)16.60
3. Mason Ho (HAW)15.50
4. Clay Marzo (HAW) 4.00
Watch the whole six hours of it here!
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Opinion: “Whiny surf mags like porn
STDs!”
By Chas Smith
Has the surf media gotten too grouchy?
I was having a conversation yesterday with a
wonderful friend and filmmaker, Tate MacDowell when he says:
What’s up with these whiny, hypocritical surf mags. Every
time I pick one up I feel like isn’t even fun or they’re telling me
not to do shit. Seriously, I just got the latest Stab, Surfing and
Surfer and they were all bitching about Instagram and locations
being blown out. Don’t they understand I’m trying to get my stoke
on with this rag? It’s like picking up a porno and reading a bunch
of articles about how STD’s are hurting the industry. Fuck off! I’m
obviously not getting laid if I’m reading this!
And I think:
Wow totally.
Do you think surf media has gotten too grouchy? I think it has.
But the opposite of grouchy is cheese-faced Inertia.
What is the middle ground? Help me help you!
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The piece starts with a bunch of nerds holding up full
color computer printouts. One of them is wearing a super lame
little necklace. They take turns making statements. I don't know
who any of them are. Possibly their presence it's supposed to lend
weight to the following segment?
“Worst 37 seconds of Fanning’s life!”
By Rory Parker
Can we start calling Mick's "attack" something
else?
Can we start calling Mick’s “attack” something
else? I’m sure it was scary as hell, rattled his cage good
and hard. Shed some adrenaline dump tears post heat.
But he wasn’t attacked. He was bumped.
If you stepped out into the road without looking and a truck
rolled by, missing by inches, you wouldn’t say you’ve been hit by a
car. Because you’d look like a huge pussy. Life’s full of near
misses, you’ve gotta sack up and move along.
Which is exactly what he did. Back in the water, back on with
his life. He talks about it, sure. Probably the first question
every lazy journalist asks.
If you stepped out into the road without looking and a truck
rolled by, missing by inches, you wouldn’t say you’ve been hit by a
car. Because you’d look like a huge pussy. Life’s full of near
misses, you’ve gotta sack up and move along.
It’s gotta be weird, to work so hard at something your entire
life then be catapulted to fame by a random encounter. If I were
Mick I’d say, “Enough of the shark talk, ya’ cunts.” Or something
similarly Australian.
At the same time, the real world doesn’t much about surfing.
That bump came with killer exposure. That’s really what Mick’s job
is, staying in the public eye. He does it well. One of the very
best.
The piece starts with a bunch of nerds holding up full color
computer printouts. One of them is wearing a super lame little
necklace. They take turns making statements. I don’t know who any
of them are. Possibly their presence it’s supposed to lend weight
to the following segment?
It plays as though the bump were one of the most traumatic
events in Fanning’s life. I don’t believe that. Mick’s made of
sterner stuff. Shaken, but not stirred.
Losing two brothers is heavy. I’ve got two baby bros of my own.
It’d be hard to lose them.
His mom’s a good presence. Delivers a very real line.
“I just could not believe that this was actually happening. I
thought, ‘Oh my god, the universe can’t be this cruel.’ And, uh, I
can’t lose another boy.”
Beyond that, there’s nothing new here. It’s justa glimpse of
Fanning’s early life, his tribulations set to swelling music,
overlayed with an insurance commercial voice over. Not a single
glimpse of what makes him a human.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
