Mason Ho Padang
Hard to fault a contest with six-foot tubes and an invite list that includes Mason Ho (here), Damo Hobgood, Clay Marzo and Bruce Irons. What makes it even better? The superbly named Mega Semahdi beat 'em all! | Photo: Rip Curl

Compare: Padang Cup V US Open!

What do you prefer, tube wrangling or whoring at the trough?

Whoo-ee! Yesterday’s event at double Padang was something else.

Barrels galore. Mason Ho’s wave riding genius. Bruce Irons on a ten-point drainer. An event sponsor that used slave labor to make it’s products. They don’t anymore though. Or they don’t think they do. Can’t be sure, really, when you’re chasing down the cheapest labor possible.

No big deal. Just issue an “oopsie doodle” press release and move on. No one really cares.

Good things about the comp:

Tons of local surfers. One of them won it! Mega Semadhi smoked a field of killers in world-class surf. Quite the notch on the bed post.

Good waves. I forgot that contests could have those. Powers that be pimp the shit out of the US Open. This one here’s a standalone exhibition.

Great commentary. I don’t know who most of the Aussie yammer heads were, but I liked their deal. Way better than the big stage corpo boys. And the ever effervescent Dave Wassel did his part. I love him so. My wife says she reminds him of a cross between Huell Howser and Mr Peanutbutter. Which I’m fairly sure was meant as a compliment.

Good waves. I forgot that contests could have those. Powers that be pimp the shit out of the US Open. This one here’s a standalone exhibition.

Bad things about the comp:

Poor production values. Not a big deal, still plenty good. But I would’ve loved a channel cam.

In-stream commercials. My ad-blocker can’t do shit about those. Clever people working for Rip Curl. WSL still hasn’t figured that shit out.

“Having joined forces with the WSL as an officially sanctioned specialty event, the 2016 Rip Curl Cup will feature the most exclusive field in event history…”

If Rip Curl paid the sanctioning fee they’re a bunch of fools. Not a single current ‘CT competitor on the roster. Because they were all busy scrapping for money in Southern California like a bunch of whores at the trough.

2016 Rip Curl Cup Final Results: 

1. Mega Semadhi (IND) 19.00
2. Damien Hobgood (USA)16.60
3. Mason Ho (HAW)15.50
4. Clay Marzo (HAW) 4.00

Watch the whole six hours of it here!


Opinion: “Whiny surf mags like porn STDs!”

Has the surf media gotten too grouchy?

I was having a conversation yesterday with a wonderful friend and filmmaker, Tate MacDowell when he says:

What’s up with these whiny, hypocritical surf mags. Every time I pick one up I feel like isn’t even fun or they’re telling me not to do shit. Seriously, I just got the latest Stab, Surfing and Surfer and they were all bitching about Instagram and locations being blown out. Don’t they understand I’m trying to get my stoke on with this rag? It’s like picking up a porno and reading a bunch of articles about how STD’s are hurting the industry. Fuck off! I’m obviously not getting laid if I’m reading this!

And I think:

Wow totally.

Do you think surf media has gotten too grouchy? I think it has. But the opposite of grouchy is cheese-faced Inertia. What is the middle ground? Help me help you!

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Mick Fanning shark
The piece starts with a bunch of nerds holding up full color computer printouts. One of them is wearing a super lame little necklace. They take turns making statements. I don't know who any of them are. Possibly their presence it's supposed to lend weight to the following segment?

“Worst 37 seconds of Fanning’s life!”

Can we start calling Mick's "attack" something else?

Can we start calling Mick’s “attack” something else? I’m sure it was scary as hell, rattled his cage good and hard. Shed some adrenaline dump tears post heat.

But he wasn’t attacked. He was bumped.

If you stepped out into the road without looking and a truck rolled by, missing by inches, you wouldn’t say you’ve been hit by a car. Because you’d look like a huge pussy. Life’s full of near misses, you’ve gotta sack up and move along.

Which is exactly what he did. Back in the water, back on with his life. He talks about it, sure. Probably the first question every lazy journalist asks.

If you stepped out into the road without looking and a truck rolled by, missing by inches, you wouldn’t say you’ve been hit by a car. Because you’d look like a huge pussy. Life’s full of near misses, you’ve gotta sack up and move along.

It’s gotta be weird, to work so hard at something your entire life then be catapulted to fame by a random encounter. If I were Mick I’d say, “Enough of the shark talk, ya’ cunts.” Or something similarly Australian.

At the same time, the real world doesn’t much about surfing. That bump came with killer exposure. That’s really what Mick’s job is, staying in the public eye. He does it well. One of the very best.

The piece starts with a bunch of nerds holding up full color computer printouts. One of them is wearing a super lame little necklace. They take turns making statements. I don’t know who any of them are. Possibly their presence it’s supposed to lend weight to the following segment?

It plays as though the bump were one of the most traumatic events in Fanning’s life. I don’t believe that. Mick’s made of sterner stuff. Shaken, but not stirred.

Losing two brothers is heavy. I’ve got two baby bros of my own. It’d be hard to lose them.

His mom’s a good presence. Delivers a very real line.

“I just could not believe that this was actually happening. I thought, ‘Oh my god, the universe can’t be this cruel.’ And, uh, I can’t lose another boy.”

Beyond that, there’s nothing new here. It’s justa glimpse of Fanning’s early life, his tribulations set to swelling music, overlayed with an insurance commercial voice over. Not a single glimpse of what makes him a human.


Kita Alexander baby
Chanteuse, gal pal of O Wright and now… mammy!

Owen Wright’s Gonna Be a Daddy!

Wiped from the tour. Barely able to surf. But, now, a baby with pop star girlfriend!

What a wild old ride Owen Wright has been on this year. After what was officially mandated as a surf-related brain injury at Pipeline in December, Owen pulled out of the first six events of 2016.

One month later, it was reported,

“Serious concerns surround the health of 2015 surfing world title contender, Owen Wright. Fears that Wright is still having trouble speaking and even standing have spread throughout tight-lipped surfing community…revealed he was still struggling with amnesia just last week.”

In February, Owen looked fragile as hell as he embraced his sister Tyler after she won the gal’s event at Snapper.

And two weeks ago, the rest of Owen’s 2016 WSL season was officially wiped.

So, now, after everything, ain’t it something to hear that his pop star girlfriend Kita Alexander is laden with child.

“I’ve gone through some really challenging life experiences this year but the most amazingly beautiful thing has come out of it,” says Owen, alongside his pregnant girl (on his IG account @owright). “Enjoying every moment but the future couldn’t look any better.”

Ms Alexander, in case you didn’t know, is the chanteuse whose (hit) songs have the easy temper of a warm summer’s day.

She surfs too!

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Watch her wonderful song My Own Way, here…


Filipe Toledo
Don't you love the… immediacy… of King's work? "I just have my iPhone running. Most of Tour Notes is shot on an iPhone. I have a RED camera but I just look at it." | Photo: Peter King

#TourNotes: Filipe’s US Open Rapture!

Follow Filipe Toledo's effortless win at the US Open!

I doubt I’m alone in suggesting that no other filmer has such a clear window into the pro game as La Jolla’s Peter King.

I’ve followed the former pro surfer-celebrity chanteuse’s  career through its highs and its highs. As for TourNotes, which King makes for the surf clothing company Hurley, he says:  “I was on tour for three-and-a-half years, back when girls wanted to hang with Shaun Tomson and Rabbit Bartholomew and were 35 years old and wore high-waisted bikinis, do cocaine and all those things I didn’t know about. And what do I remember about my time on the tour? It isn’t the heats. I wanna show the fun. I want to show the silly little conversations.”

In this episode, King follows Filipe Toledo, “throughout his obvious and effortless win. No one else would have been as fun to watch won, that’s for sure. Most of it was filmed from the Sao Paulo section of the bleachers. Only this group could make tiny Huntington seem more exciting that the Olympics…”

As for the Toledos and Filipe’s upcoming role as a daddy, “They are known as the SurfamilyToledo … so the more the merrier!”

Filipe, meanwhile, split California to Kandui resort in the Mentawais straight after his win. He’ll be there till Tahiti!

Click here and watch!