Jack Robinson Teahupoo
This grab of Jack at Teahupoo looks like a man out of control, yeah? According to the big-waver Mark Mathews it's all part of the plan. "He knows how to wipeout…safely," says Mark.

Watch: Jack Robinson in Hollow Ground

The fresh and brilliant teenager Jack Robinson in a four-minute short film.

Late last year, I got employed by the big-waver Mark Mathews to ghost-write two e-books. For a week, I sat with Mathews and asked him…everything… to do with big waves.

Around the same time, Jack Robinson, who was seventeen at the time, was demonstrating how casually Teahupoo could be ridden, and survived, even when everything goes wrong. And, Mark, who’s not exactly unfamiliar with drama in big waves, was perplexed by his ability to safely eject.

“He’s the master of it,” said Mark. “Just watch how he does it at Teahupoo. The ejection is clean, and by clean I mean he jumps safely away from the lip, because everything he did prior to ejecting was perfect. He stayed in the zone, he paddled hard, he didn’t hesitate. He jumps clear of the lip and penetrates the wave at the bottom.”

A couple of months later, Jack beat Jamie O’Brien and Mason Ho and anyone with a name at Pipe, at the trials for the Pipeline Masters.

You want to call Jack Australia’s version of John John Florence, well, go ahead.

Watch this four-minute clip for further proof.

A partying Brad Gerlach? Maybe.
A partying Brad Gerlach? Maybe.

Rumor: New surf film deemed “too sexy!”

I've had it! Absolutely had it!

Do you want to know what makes my blood absolutely boil? You already do! Conservatism in surfing! I rail against tsk-tsk and holier-than-thou and it’s-a-legitimate-sport and The-Inertia every single chance I get because rrrrrrrrrggggggggg it’s fucking surfing! Fucking! Surfing! Fucking! Cocaine! I mean SURFING!

And there goes my happy kick. Longtom? Where are the oxys and longnecks? Longtom! Gimme two!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and now that I’ve calmed down just a touch let me explain what launched me into such blind rage. There’s a surf movie out there, see, called Let Them Eat Surf and it’s about the birth of surfing on France’s Atlantic coast and I’ve only heard tell of its existence, only seen a few blurry clips, but also heard rumor rumor that it has been rejected by certain New Mexico lifestyle enthusiast magazines because “Too many drugs. Too much nudity.”

And put the breaks on right there! Hold the motherfucking phone! Take drugs and nudity out of surfing and what is it?


I’ll tell you what it is. Ice skating. No wait. Ice skating had Tanya Harding.

It’s synchronized diving. No wait. Synchronized diving has marathon sex scandals. (Have you read this one? It’s incredible! Do here!)

It’s pre-school patty cake in the shallow end of the pool.

Yeah. That’s what it is.

Let me eat surf!

And Longtom! Gimme two more!

Maurice? Maurice Cole? Is that you? What's in your hand?
Maurice? Maurice Cole? Is that you? What’s in your hand?

Film: Let’s hold hands in Morocco!

A gorgeous short film that comes to us from a very happy place!

One of the things that makes this BeachGrit most magnificent is its yin-yang nature. Derek Rielly is brunette. I am blonde. Derek Rielly speaks with a full Western Australian accent. Mine is flat American west coast ugly. Derek Rielly looks best with a sweater tied loosely around his neck. Me in a wifebeater sans accoutrement. Derek Rielly loves the Jew and I love the Arab (except Arabs that hail from Saud/Kuwait/UAE).

We are like a pre-breakup version of SurfStitch‘s Lex Pedersen and Justin Cameron. A living, breathing example of peace on earth. The new eharmony.com!

The bizarro Derek Rielly and Chas Smith (rich, grude-holding and filled with rage!)
The bizarro Derek Rielly and Chas Smith (rich, grude-holding and filled with rage!)

And look at this gorgeous small film brought to us by a wonderful Moroccan. Sure we can quibble on Moroccans being “Arab” but let’s not. Let’s just watch the golden light filter down to earth, bathing everyone and everything in warmth.

Don’t you want to be right here?

I have been and it was dreamy, though slightly colder. I surfed with wonderful friends and we laughed and made fun of some sort of German surfer. Or maybe he was Dutch. I can’t remember. The surf was very fun and the scene was very fun too.

This film, anyhow, featuring a spot as opposed to a person, makes me very happy. Watching the Moroccans dance upon the waves makes me very happy. Arabs (except the ones that hail from Saud/Kuwait/UAE) make me happy. And its maker, Khalil Bougaizi, shows real talent.


P.S. The song title is “I am the Antichrist to you” and written/performed by a Japanese artist named Kishi Bashi who scored the music to new Travis Rice film The Fourth Phase and played live at the premier. He was wonderfully sincere, a pleasure to speak with and he makes me very happy too.

Long live the anti-depressive!

Salt-N-Pepa: “Let’s talk about sex, baby!”

Let's also talk about drugs and big game hunting and death!

Let’s talk about Bunker Spreckels and me (and you). Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex (Bunker Spreckels). Are you in love or do you not give two shits? Do you think his style was too too chic or do you think very very try hard? Fascinating or overblown? Hoooooooo or hmmmmmmm? Yippee ki ye or motherfucker?

When I first rolled across his story some decade ago I thought it was the best in surfing. I couldn’t even believe that such a character existed. Now? Maybe I have Bunker fatigue. Maybe I’ve lost my mojo. Maybe I’ve done too much heroin and my world…






Oh just kidding! I’ve never done heroin! But really. What do you think about Bunker Spreckels and are you going to see this doco?


Celebrate: Let’s have a fancy feast!

Famed Inertia anti-drug czar is also a Hollywood star! Such glory! Such happy smiles!

Oh we’ve taken an accidental depressing left turn here lately haven’t we? I, personally and in the last two days, have called the World Surf League mentally retarded, slandered the dear Hayden Cox and entreated older surfers to commit seppuku. Derek and Rory have each asked, “Like, why surf?”

The esteemed surf journalist longtom (Steve Shearer) just commented:

I need an oxy and a longneck on hand before I open the Grit these days. So much depression!

And he’s right! Our anti-depressive mandate has become clouded with very dark skies. Ugly and unnecessary!

Well thank God for your third favorite health recipe website, Venice-adjacent’s own The Inertia!

You know (and love) them for their racist overtones and their strident anti-drug propaganda. Who could ever forget the piece titled: Why I Deeply Respect the Surf Industry for Glorifying Drugs and Alcohol?

You might think its author was just another hard-working yet underpaid crusader. A man who placed truth above his own well-being who was guaranteed to snuff out.


And you’d be right.

But he is also an up and coming Hollywood star! A man on the move! The next Brad Pitt! George Clooney! Ed Norton!

Should we watch his work? Of course we should!

Now, if you don’t feel a warmness in your heart, if there is not a tear in your eye, then shame on you.

Steve (longtom) Shearer? Do you still need your oxy and longneck?

Oh, you have stopped reading because you are weeping overflowing emotion into the crook of your arm?

BeachGrit! It’s anti-depressive!