I've had it! Absolutely had it!
Do you want to know what makes my blood absolutely boil? You already do! Conservatism in surfing! I rail against tsk-tsk and holier-than-thou and it’s-a-legitimate-sport and The-Inertia every single chance I get because rrrrrrrrrggggggggg it’s fucking surfing! Fucking! Surfing! Fucking! Cocaine! I mean SURFING!
And there goes my happy kick. Longtom? Where are the oxys and longnecks? Longtom! Gimme two!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and now that I’ve calmed down just a touch let me explain what launched me into such blind rage. There’s a surf movie out there, see, called Let Them Eat Surf and it’s about the birth of surfing on France’s Atlantic coast and I’ve only heard tell of its existence, only seen a few blurry clips, but also heard rumor rumor that it has been rejected by certain New Mexico lifestyle enthusiast magazines because “Too many drugs. Too much nudity.”
And put the breaks on right there! Hold the motherfucking phone! Take drugs and nudity out of surfing and what is it?
WHAT IS IT?
I’ll tell you what it is. Ice skating. No wait. Ice skating had Tanya Harding.
It’s synchronized diving. No wait. Synchronized diving has marathon sex scandals. (Have you read this one? It’s incredible! Do here!)
It’s pre-school patty cake in the shallow end of the pool.
Yeah. That’s what it is.
Let me eat surf!
And Longtom! Gimme two more!
Preschool patty cake at the shallow end of the pool is a fair description of you and longtom right now. You 2 need to get a room
I think that’s a picture of Brad Pitt having an epilectic seizure
The Disco Gorilla on a good one
Have you ever tried the metaphorical oxy and longneck?
It’s not quite as good as the real thing but it’s safer for dads. We don’t want to lose you too early Chas.
What is? Cartoons and naps? Share!
I’m still making it up.
Do you think people can change? Like, really change?
Can they be other than who they are? Even if they really wanted to?
Or are they one more piece of molecular fate spinning through the universe labouring under insane illusions which are nothing more than accidents of consciousness, chief amongst them free will?
I change my fins! Like, my hypto now has Julian Wilson fins. Drop knee struggle-aheadedness, flowing hair, with a glowing white smile. I encourage all to change equipment. It changes your life! The source! Bye byeeeeeee existential dread.
I think people do change as their lives go on, maybe it’s more a question of whether you can change through your own conscious agency rather than as a result of the world and time acting upon you.
But! then again! a little bird told me yesterday that Drouyn has grown bored with the Westerly thing and has decided to go back to being Drouyn but without the penis.
To disdainfully misuse one of my least favourite modern sayings, “Same same but different”
Oi Longdong send me some oxy’s bruv
go to the dentist fri arvo and complain of severe toothache. you’re welcome.
Well we all know how to bait Chas now don’t we.
I foresee a long and entertaining winter.
You boys got Longneck over there?
Get amongst it!