I just sent my resume in to be Paul Speaker's number one!
Sooooooooo yesterday I was sent the job description for my DREAM JOB!
The EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT to CEO of WORLD SURF LEAGUE.
Do you even know who that is? Do you?
Paul Speaker!
PAUL MOTHERFUCKING SPEAKER!
I was so nervous, so excited, so pulsing with energy that I couldn’t even write my application until this morning.
I woke up, poured a stiff mug of black coffee and thought about my resume.
2014-present BeachGrit co-founder/etc.
2004-2014 ???? some international travel etc.
1998-1998 Disneyland submarine driver
Good, no? But missing something. It has been a while since I went to a job interview but don’t they ask for your strengths? Should I put that on my resume?
Strengths:
-Good with Ron Dog Blakey Joe Turpel.
-Wears good shoes.
-Speaks Pottz semi-fluently.
Yeah. No? But don’t they also ask you weaknesses too? Ok.
Weaknesses:
-I care too much.
-I work too hard.
-I am too passionate about my work.
-I think Teahupo’o breaks in 6 inches of water and Kelly Slater is a billionaire.
Perfect. Resume 101 make your strengths your weaknesses. Am I right?
What else?
Oh! A reference!
Ummmmmmmmmm….
Sent!
I am going to sit by the mailbox until my congratulations letter comes!
i would hire you, based on the resume alone..
Good call leaving off Biola. Shame it’s not called “Not Of This World Surf League.” Though I think I just came up with a good title for the Hobgoods’ doc
Ha! Brilliant….
What happened to Ronnie? I mean what did we do to deserve Gigs? He must have compromising photos of Mr. Speaker or is the WSL fucking with specifically me?
Gigs actually said yesterday in second heat Keanu Asing was going to “deep throat a little tube” – I thought he meant deep throat Kolohe. I laughed for rest of the heat.
Unless there is more comedy gold like that – no we don’t need him.
Anyone else hear Gigs in France saying he’d “run out of describing words,” and “anticipationing” as in waiting for the next wave.