Sabre Norris Today Show
I got a new favourite pro surfer and she's eleven years old! Hello Sabre Norris! Brilliant and punchy!

Meet: Your new fav pro surfer!

Sabre Norris is punchy and brilliant!

You’ve got to love a pro surfer kid born without a censor button. Sabre Norris, who is eleven years old and lives in the provincial Australian city of Newcastle, got on national television yesterday morning, called her former Olympian dad “fat and said he “has to suck his gut in for photos” and admitted that, even if she comes last in the Sally Fitz contest she’s a wildcard in, is going to drop the $250 prize money on doughnuts.

Sabre Norris, in case you missed the torrent of clips and stories over the last couple of years, is punchy and brilliant on a skateboard (watch her 540 as a nine year old, here), tears hell out of waves, has a dazzling website  and, I will predict although predictions of this sort are damn easy, will be a Carissa Moore-esque game-changer on tour.

As the always-wonderful Sean Doherty reported:

As a grown man, and a proud and crabby ol’ bastard, it’s hard to describe the feeling of being outsurfed by a 10-year-old girl.

After the initial denial that it was actually happening, it made me think deeply and depressingly about my life. I knew this moment would come, a sad sign of inevitable decline, but I expected I might be at least 70 years old when it did. Instead here I was, seemingly in my prime, my ego being shredded by the forehand turn of a killer smurf.

My sense of self-loathing, however, was soon overwhelmed by a sense of unbridled joy. It’s impossible, you see, to watch Sabre Norris surf and not be spellbound. “Cute” isn’t the right word for her surfing. She’s too damn good to be cute. A searing, grab railed, laid over cutback isn’t “cute”. Steph Gilmore describes Sabre’s surfing as “badass”, and this was a badass turn. Halfway through the turn, somewhere, surely, a single tear was rolling down Matt Hoy’s cheek. On Sabre’s next wave she threw a forehand air reverse. Then she got tubed. Blam! Blam! Blam! Between waves she was effervescent company. She never stopped moving and there was no dead air. “How sick was my last one!” “How much fun is this!” And, finally, “That last turn of yours was really, err… interesting.”

God she’s good. Now watch her light up the Today show!

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lorne
lorne
9 years ago

see her surf most mornings of the week

qtsg
qtsg
9 years ago

Yes dear old Brian has been keeping us informed. I meant the bio-med, but yeah the time-wasting thing too

qtsg
qtsg
9 years ago

twins are kicking goals, mate. loofy has had a man in. it didn’t go well

blue is my absolute favourite colour but (permit a small amount of drunken condescension) don’t forget to return to the other thing if you can.

qtsg
qtsg
9 years ago

Nice to see you too, you ridiculous hairy hipster. The other place is still pining for you, what with it being tard season, but hopefully our loss is biotech’s gain

Tom House
Tom House
9 years ago

$250 will buy you, what, a half dozen donuts in Australia? Jesus Christ, your food prices are obscene.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

absolutely. Shearer reckons Europe’s dead, I think we can narrow that down to the UK. By the way KVF, Australian kiddies are equally puzzled by the American accent. Once, they weren’t but that was back when the USA made tv shows they wanted to watch…back when the USA mattered.

qtsg
qtsg
9 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

I have strong suspicions that shearer’s never even been to Woop Woop, let alone Europe. All his views are lifted wholesale from Rex Hunt’s Fishing World then lightly filtered through A Pocket Guide to Nietzsche. They should be challenged instantly on sight, and without mercy

shootsthen
shootsthen
9 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

USA still matters, and will matter for the duration of our life times.

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

More personality combined then the entire current WCT tour

“Yeah, got last place, but that’s sweet. It’s $1500 american. Bonza night on the coke. Rio is up next, best donuts and columbian coke, can’t wait for that. Cheers Rosie, luv ya”

jimmy
jimmy
9 years ago

Interview prep with Mason Ho?

velobwoy
velobwoy
9 years ago

Using my 5 year old as a comparison

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
9 years ago

hmmm, donuts…

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
9 years ago

…

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago

She is the raddest.

lorne
lorne
9 years ago

pretty sweet to see a young Novacastrian getting the call up. it seems really out of the blue though, i’m interested to know who’s in her camp / who has the muscle to get her the wildcard over 100s of other young aussie females (particularly ones actually trying to qualify)

capn birdseye
capn birdseye
9 years ago
Reply to  lorne

Kids a prodigy, many big name pros singing her praises. Not that surprising she got a call up. She wont win, but adds novelty factor. But remember her name – kids a freak!

Limbless Jack
Limbless Jack
9 years ago

Isn’t her mom dating josh kerr now?

Bin_Chook
Bin_Chook
9 years ago

Classic. I hope she’s able to maintain that attitude. She’s gonna go far.

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago
Reply to  Bin_Chook

Fast forward 10 years…”yeah, it’s so great travelling the world with my best friends, all of whom I love and are my best friends and competing against all my best friends who are my best friends” while secretly hating that sea-hunt who just knocked you out it the first round.

bruddah
bruddah
9 years ago

This girl makes them Coffey sisters irrelevant… unless they’ve already reached that point?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

They were decaffeinated a year ago.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
9 years ago

I loved that. Watched it 4 times.

velobwoy
velobwoy
9 years ago
Reply to  Trogan Fan

She’s a little bit retarded.

Beatrice C. Bogg
Beatrice C. Bogg
9 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

actually more like you you are a lot clueless

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
9 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

not really relevant to me. Tell me you’ve ever seen a CT surfer give an interview that funny and candid – they’re all somewhat retarded too.

velobwoy
velobwoy
9 years ago
Reply to  Trogan Fan

Certainly the best ones are.

shootsthen
shootsthen
9 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

Only a complete ignoranous would be inspired to call that amazing little girl a “bit retarded.” Wait, is that you Donald?

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
9 years ago
Reply to  Trogan Fan

Your first positive comment ever, wow, nice to see!

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago

How do Australian children understand each other, having accents like that?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
9 years ago

Now you pick on little girls? Oh Karl!

qtsg
qtsg
9 years ago

They don’t. It’s why Australians invented the high rising terminal to let one another know whose turn it is to speak. It’s an elegantly simple system when you think about it – no messy comprehension problems, no arguments, nothing to worry about except for how hot it’s going to be and what other words you can mindlessly truncate by adding an o, y or ie to the first syllable. Profoundly retarded, of course, but elegantly simple nonetheless

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago

…even worse when they’re pissed [translation “drunk”]

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

Exceedingly well Karl Von, thank you

Ya fuckin’ wombat


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