Rotten to the Core is a film that captures your
imagination!
Today Matt Wybenga releases the right movie for
the right fucking time. It is Rotten to the Core! Come marvel at
surfers using crass language, sticking out, getting pounded,
dancing the glorious dance! Bruce Brown, Archie, Jordy Smith!
Come re-witness Bobby Martinez’s rant at the fucking tennis
tour. Come listen to grindy guitar and come watch some very
gorgeous surfing.
I have been a fly in surf’s soup for the better
part of fifteen years. I laugh and kick and poke and cajole and bop
and twirl and laugh again. Oh it’s all part of my dance, baby, and
I have the most anti-depressive fun ever but it’s a dance that
enrages, every once in a while, and particularly enrages the
brands.
Their feets just sometimes get in my way. Their Volcom Creedlers. And I stomp
and laugh and grind and bounce and laugh again but the owners of
the Volcom Creedlers are not
amused. They are not having fun.
What do you think they do though? Do you think they shout at me?
Do you think they scream, “Nobody is enjoying themselves except
YOU, asshole!” Do you think they holler, “Get off the floor,
prick!”
No.
They don’t.
And here’s the craziest thing. I have never once in all my
better part of fifteen years been called by a brand for laughing
and poking and kicking. Not once. I sometimes hear through friends
of friends of friends that such and such a brand is apoplectic or
upset or hurt but nobody from the brand ever calls me.
Never.
And the flailing brands, the Volcoms, wonder why their sales are
down through the floor and the dream is slipping from their grasp.
We used to be outsiders all of us. We used to really and truly be
against the establishment. We used to know, deep in our hearts,
that what we did was not serious and that is exactly why we did it.
We used to laugh and not be afraid to laugh even when other’s poked
fun because we were all in on the same joke.
We used to step lightly.
Though no longer. Now dark and serious clouds fill the horizon.
A Heavy and depressed march. Not reaching sales goals. Not matching
market expectations. Stock prices slip, slip, slipping.
I will say, though, the brands lost their senses of humor long
before they lost their sales.
So here we stand. Impotent rage boiling but never given release.
A private gnashing of teeth. A public miscalculated failing.
But Mr. Brand Manager who refuses to call, would you would
permit me one small bit of analysis? The posted fun-making stories
about you soar. Their traffic goes through the roof and do you want
to know why? Because when you forgot who you were and chased a
market that doesn’t exist your core consumer was left heartbroken
and alone. So now he cheers for your demise. Now she mocks your
failure. Now he shares stories stomping your Creedlers.
Oh It’s not too late! The heartbroken are only ever waiting for
love to come calling again. For love to present a hand and loosen
its hips.
And while I have you, Mr. Brand Manager who refuses to call
would you permit me to share one story?
When I was so fresh in the professional surf game I
followed the tour through Europe, reporting on the World Surf
League when it was called the Association of Surfing Professionals.
The then CEO, for whatever reason, got caught in my crosshairs and
I would laugh and kick and poke at him for
Stab (when it was alive) about his baby blue shirts
etc. etc. etc.
I made so much fun!
Would you like to know what the then CEO did? He challenged me
to an arm-wrestle! He bounded through the door of the bar where I
was drinking a stolen beer and arm-wrestled me into sweet
submission!
The moral? Let’s arm wrestle Mr. Brand Manager! Or tango! The
music is still playing and it’s oh so anti-depressive!
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Coastalwatch sues, tries to buy
Surfstitch!
By Derek Rielly
Surf forecaster offers fifty-mill for a company
worth half-a-billion less than a year ago…
Did you know there’s money in surf? Even
in its supposed decrepitude, it’s still one of the great spinners
of cash for nothing.
But it ain’t the early two-thousands when all it took to shave a
piece off a marketing budget was a few cocktails and a
half-convincing spin. Now, if you want to soak in the real
money, you’ve got to know finance. You’ve gotta know how to create
a company that, while losing money, and even while making
acquisitions so outrageously bullish you know the house of cards
has to fall, you can peel off a nice mill-a-year salary.
With stock. Which you sell prior to the collapse.
Now, as reported by the Australian Financial
Review, the owners of the surf forecast site
Coastalwatch, which is suing Surfstitch over a content-sharing deal
that put twenty-mill on the Surfstitch balance sheet, has offered
to buy the whole thing for fifty-ish mill.
A little less than the half-a-billion dollars Surfstitch was
worth last November.
From the AFR:
Not content with suing Surfstitch over a failed content
deal, a media company from Sydney’s Northern Beaches has now
lobbed a $55.4 million takeover offer for the embattled surf
retail and media business.
Surfstitch revealed on Wednesday that it had received a
non-binding proposal from Coastalwatch, a website that delivers
surf reports and forecasts, to buy 100 per cent of the
company.
Street Talk first revealed in August that Three Crowns Media
Group, which is the ultimate holding company of both Crown
Financial and Coastalwatch, as well as other media outlets
including magazine Surfing World and
snowsports website Mountainwatch, was
the mysterious third party embroiled in legal action with
Surfstitch over a content-sharing arrangement gone
wrong.
And to make
matters more confusing, Surfstitch had once considered buying Three
Crowns before its own troubles deepened. Now the tables have
turned.
Coastalwatch has proposed
buying Surfstitch for 20¢ a share, just higher than the 30-day
volume weighted average price of 19¢. However, Surfstitch’s
board has decided the bid is not in the best interest of
shareholders because it does not deliver an appropriate premium for
securing control, is highly conditional and
Coastalwatch continues to pursue its
litigation.
And from The Courier
Mail one month ago re: Coastalwatch’s daddy suing, while
buying up shares.
THE soap opera drama continues for SurfStitch as a legal
rival snaps up more shares in the company, fuelling speculation the
online surfwear retailer is in play for a takeover.
Crown Financial, the company linked to Three Crowns Media
group which is locking horns with SurfStitch in court, increased
its shareholding to 10.41 per cent from 9.33 per cent on Wednesday,
making it the largest shareholder in the company.
It follows two other surprise buy ups by Crown earlier this
month. Baillieu Holst analyst Mathan Somasundaram said all signs
pointed to an imminent takeover.
“It’s an attractive takeover bid for someone who wants to
come in and chop it up, strip out the retail business from the
media assets and run it tough until margins improve and growth
comes back,” Mr Somasundaram said.
“The share price is telling us it has plateaued around
20¢.
“And if you were going to do a takeover you’d need the
backing of a few big players who would need to buy up decent
holdings.
“It’s really a matter of time.”
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Parker: “Hunting Corruption in
Hawaii!”
By Rory Parker
Enough to make you laugh. Partly from true
amusement, partially from sorrow and disgust…
Lots of legal fun going on in our beloved
archipelago. Enough to make you laugh. Partially
from true amusement, partially from abject sorrow and disgust.
Kenoi faced a couple felonies, a couple misdemeanors, thanks to
poorly considered decisions to use government money to pay for a
stand up paddle board, bicycle, a shitload of booze, and multiple
trips to Oahu buy-me-drinkee bars.
If that last term sounds a tad racist, that’s because it
probably is. The polite term is “hostess bar.”
Irvil Kapua was allowed to resign rather than face charges,
while his wife remained of the force, steadily working her way into
a position of power.
Karen Kapua was ordered to repay the money stolen, plus an
additional $25k, and sentenced to sixty days in jail. She
will be allowed to serve her time on the weekends.
Sadly, the poor fuckers she framed in the course of her
employment weren’t given the same leniency. She had to cover up her
theft somehow, what better way than claiming it was used via
confidential informants to conduct drug purchases which, obviously,
never actually happened?
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Says the stud on the left: This may sound cheesy but
just knowing how much joy a surfboard can bring to people
individually and how that can actually spread to all the people
around them. I know I'm a better husband, a better dad, and just a
better person in general if I go for a surf every day. Surfers are
tapped into something magical, something that can be a really
positive force, so I'm just stoked to be a part of that in other
peoples' lives.
Meet: the Stud who makes John John
fly!
By Derek Rielly
Let's get a little closer to Jon Pyzel, the shaper
to world champion John John Florence!
Some of the most exciting surfboard design is
coming out of a little factory in Waialua on Oahu. Here, you’ll
find the shaper Jon Pyzel, who is forty-eight, building boards for
the new champion of the world John John Florence. Pyzel is also,
nominally, the “best shaper in the world” after winning a
blind-fold contest starring Dane Reynolds, that appeared in Stab
magazine.
Pyzel has been making boards for John John Florence, who has
just-turned twenty-four, since the kid was five; since his mama
Alex brought the boys to see him at his old bay at Sunset
Beach and gave him two-hundred dollars for materials to build John
a board. The yellow four-six with halo of orange rails is
“hideous to look at” but now exists as a memorial of sorts to a boy
destined for greatness.
This interview was recorded between Waialua, Oahu, and Bondi,
Australia.
BeachGrit: Is that the fabulous Mr Jon Pyzel? Tell me
everything! Tell me about your current emotional position. Your boy
wins the world title; you scoop up the Stab prize as #1
shaper.
Pyzel: I don’t know about fabulous but it’s Jon Pyzel! I’m
pretty fucking happy. Happiness mixed with a little relief. I don’t
know. It seems like it’s been a long road.
BeachGrit: You must’ve seen John’s world title coming a
long time ago…
Pyzel: I felt like it was coming for a long time. It’s one of
those things, you never know until it happens. I believed in it,
but cautiously believed. I knew he had the talent, put it
that way. And I think the one thing that stands out the most to me
in this whole thing, especially being in Portugal and seeing his
whole situation, was that I literally feel like he…chose…
to win the world title. And it happened. He just went, ‘I’m really
going to do this.’ Without sounding arrogant, because that’s not
what I mean. I feel like the guy can do what he wants in surfing.
So he went, ‘Ok, now, this is what I want to do.’ Choosing to be in
that frame of mind, cleaning his way to do that. Pretty
fantastic.
BeachGrit: In the final, he really loosed
himself.
Pyzel: That was the after-party right there.
BeachGrit: Tell me about his little crew in
Portugal?
Pyzel: He was staying with his girl Lauryn (Cribb), his filmer
Erik (Knutson), and a good friend Brandon Wasserman, who’s like his
road manager. He does everything. Makes everything easy. That whole
group, they get along really good. It’s not some team
that’s…working. They’re a group of people who are happy to
be around each other. No one’s discussing heat strategies. All the
pieces were already there.
BeachGrit: I was surprised Mom John wasn’t there when
the champagne rained.
Pyzel: I know, Alex was super bummed. I mean, she was super
stoked but sad she wasn’t there. Those guys didn’t know the
numbers, that he could win the whole thing there. No one was
breaking down numbers at the dinner table. Once he was
in the quarters, or maybe even the fourth round, there was a point
when we realised… you can win this. It got down to,
win three heats and you’re the world champion. Six good waves. It
was pretty radical.
BeachGrit: There was very little negative electricity
clouding the air when he scooped up the title
cup.
Pyzel: Such a good thing, such a good feeling. Even the guys who
could’ve won it were stoked. I talked to Jordy and he was stoked
for John. No one was, like, ‘Fuck that guy!’ The best surfer is the
world champ. That’s a cool thing to see happen ’cause it doesn’t
always work out like that. As surfers it’s killer. It validates pro
surfing. This is the guy we think is the best surfer and he
won.
BeachGrit: Did you dance the night away?
Pyzel: Everyone was drinking beers at a nine-thirty in the
morning. There was a big fridge of Coronas and Sea Bass was leading
the charge. Even Kelly was drinking a beer and that’s rare. After
lunch we split. I went back to my hotel and had a nap. Woke up at
six, went to John’s house and him and his friend Kieron were just
getting in from surfing. He’d gone and surfed for two hours.
BeachGrit: Is there any amount of money, you think, that
could convince him to ride for another company?
Pyzel: I don’t know. You’d have to ask him. We’ve been through a
lot. He’s had people obviously come to him, and he’s ridden
different boards. And there’s been different times when I felt some
pressure coming from big companies. And I’ve told him, too,
’cause we’re pretty close friends, don’t feel like you have to ride
my boards, because we’re friends or because you owe me anything.
What has happened, for me, having a kid of that calibre, is it’s
challenged me and kept me working hard. I don’t want him on other
boards. I want him on my boards. I don’t think money is a worry for
him. He’s doing alright. If he was losing, or doing
shitty, he’d be looking for different boards. He’d change it. We’ve
had times when the boards weren’t working great so we worked on
it.
BeachGrit: In detail, can you describe his go-to board
for average three-foot waves. For waves most of us schlep around
in?
Pyzel: The Bastard is his favourite.
He’s been riding it for three or four years now. (Either a 6’0″ by
18.63 by 2 1/4 or 2 3/16ths.) More than a lot of surfers who ride a
totally different board in different conditions, he prefers to have
a consistent feel – straight up, standard short boards, made a
little bit for better waves than worse waves. He’ll make it work
when it’s less than perfect. My boards tend to be a lot flatter
than a lot of shapers. But this design is pretty curvy, with a
single concave through the bottom and a tiny, tiny double concave
in the fins. It tends to have a little more volume though the nose
and under the chest. Being bulkier up front helps in landing is
when the front foot is on the nose. It stabilises stuff there,
keeps the board out of the water.
He also tends to ride boards small relative to his size. He has
a narrow stance, watch him pumping down the line. Wide boards and
narrow don’t fit. The board will also hold. The things aren’t
sliding out. It’s not going to let go. He likes sensitive boards
that you can push hard.
BeachGrit: What’s your design philosophy?
I don’t have some sentence written down, but if you look at
my boards, they’re simple, they’re clean and I try to make ’em look
pretty.
BeachGrit: What did you shape today?
Pyzel: I shaped a ten-five, four inches thick, a monster for a
six-eight water polo playing guy. I just shaped a couple of six-o’s
for Jack Freestone. I shaped a ten-o, an eight-six, two
six os, I shape everything. And I just cut a new ten-five for John,
another big Bay board.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros