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Chas: “Let the bad times roll!”

Hardship hurts in the moment but is a wonderful story afterward…

Sometimes we go on surf trips and our flights are all on time. Our boards arrive un-dinged, the sun shines, the waves barrel just barely overhead and the locals smile at us while we are weaving through their barrels. When we come home we tell our friends and lovers all about it.

We say, “Oh boy did I ever score. And the stewardess on the way home, she was brunette and leggy and wowza honk honk aaaahhhoooogaaahh and she made eyes at me the whole flight long.”

When we say, “I spent seven days in a Balinese hospital because little amoebas decided to eat my intestines” their eyes go wide with fascination. Hardship, you see, is the stuff of legend. Hardship hurts in the moment but is a wonderful story afterward and will be remembered forever.

And they listen, half interested, until the bit about the stewardess and then they roll their own eyes deep inside their skulls. Perfection, you see, is boring. Perfection is fun in the moment but not a good story afterward and not even particularly memorable.

Because sometimes we go on surf trips and our flights catch fire and divert to Panama City. Our boards don’t arrive, the sun either sizzles like the heat of hell or stays completely hidden, the waves tower and eat us alive or don’t show up and the locals pull machetes on us or try to shoot us, as we camp on the beach, because they know that white people turn into devils at night. And the stewardess on the way home is a fat man from Djibouti who insists on wearing shorts well above the knee.

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When we come home and tell our friends and lovers about it, when we say, “I spent seven days in a Balinese hospital because little amoebas decided to eat my intestines” their eyes go wide with fascination. Hardship, you see, is the stuff of legend. Hardship hurts in the moment but is a wonderful story afterward and will be remembered forever.

And so, on your next surf trip, don’t always take the easy way. Keep your eyes wide, looking for possible adventure.

Is there a one legged man who tells of a secret wave far in the distance? Go to that secret wave.

Is there a border to sneak across to get into a forbidden zone? Sneak.

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But don’t and I mean DO NOT try to create some hideous cliché and pass it off as amazing.

Like, do not stay in a hostel and sit up smoking weed all night with the Danish bar manager.

Do not drink the magic mushroom milkshake and dance under the moonlight.

Do not go to a native village off the beaten path, come home and tell your friends and lovers, “The natives live so much more simply and, by extension, they are so much happier.”

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That is the most hideous of clichés. The natives are not happier. They yearn for high definition and paper money pegged to the U.S. dollar with a narrow band.

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13 Comments
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Eddie Haiku

Is that a photo of Bruce or Andy? Sorry, left my glasses at home.

Richie Collins Webs

stay at home. its safe

J H

Don’t get stranded in Europe for two weeks because of a an unpronouncable volcano unless the company is paying. Words to live by.

Michael Flatlately

What if the Danish bar manager is telling me about a beach, hidden from the sea and passing boats by a high curving wall of rock, but with a small opening that lets through pulsing swells? On a perfect a-frame peak a select community of surfers pass the months.

Otto

Surf trips are like eggs made to no order. Sometimes they’re sunny side up; sometimes over easy; sometimes poached; mostly though they’re scrambled through and through.

Doobalachy

as most of the BG readership is well travelled possibly you should sell this advice to your friends at the inertia.

?uzzled

It’s not an adventure until things go wrong: I must have picked up that STD from a dirty toilet seat.

Abscessed Llama

Is that possible?

Tired old guy

Chas, re-gifting ? from what, 2 years ago?

Eddie Haiku

I believe it’s called upcycling. Reusing old junk for a new, or in this case, the same purpose. Chas is an environmentalist at heart.

mofahead

In my experience, in many cases the natives actually are happier. At least they exhibit a capacity to smile and enjoy life despite hardship, that is often sorely lacking in the US. Whether that’s because of, or in spite of, their lack of High Definition is another question.

Agreed that it makes for a boring story though!

flashorton

Hardship is the stuff of legend and these natives are happier because they are all living legends.

Chazz Michael Michaels

I do like you when you do you.


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