Fake news: Rockstar to title sponsor WSL!

A major shakeup in the works!

So I was reading about ethics in the new White House yesterday and how Trump’s club in Florida, Mar-a-lago, has become the de facto “Southern White House” which worries libtards and pussies because the members at Mar-a-lago each pay $200,000.00 to belong (up $100,000.00 since Trump became president of the world) and the fact that they are rich n shit and sitting next to Trump for dinner means they have an unfair advantage when it comes to making deals with the United States government.

Right?

So then I was reading about some of these members like William I. Koch who owns some oil thing and stands to benefit majorly from the Dakota Pipeline (suck it Injuns) and George Norcross who is an insurance billionaire and gonna do well off Obummercare restructuring and Bruce Toll who is a billionaire builder and Trump asked him to build the wall already over Mar-a-lago dinner (suck it Mexican’ts) and Janet Weiner who owns and CFOs Rockstar Energy Drink and…

Rockstar Energy Drink?

They sell enough cans for Janet Weiner to have paid even a $100,000.00 membership fee?

But also… You know that Janet Weiner is gonna tell Trump over steak and lobster that the World Surf League needs an energy drink sponsor and Red Bull hates them and Monster disappeared so… Rockstar!

And Trump is gonna say, “You’re right. How much does this sponsorship cost?”

And Janet Weiner is gonna say, “Well, they say 35 million people tune in worldwide but it’s probably just 305 plus Negatron but he lives in New Zealand so doesn’t count.”

And Trump gonna say, “Not yuge. I will call and have them pay you $10,000,000.00 to be their sponsor.”

And Janet Weiner is gonna say, “Deal.”

And that is the story about how the World Surf League Tour became the Rockstar Energy World Tour and how Cory Lopez won the 2017 crown.

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James B
James B
9 years ago

Gold!!! Hahahaha!! 305 + Negatron was nice, Man!

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
9 years ago

Was that an ad or an article?

Fubby Tucker
Fubby Tucker
9 years ago

Is the Trump effect making all Seppos dumber or just more whiny and annoying..

Who Farkin CARES… You should of voted…

When did beachgrit become a flog box for seppo politics bad enough the focus ins on the US..

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago
Reply to  Fubby Tucker

Better than talking about Kelly. Besides if Bill Kock was a surfer I’d fade his ass..

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Fubby Tucker

Ummmmmmmmm what?

Fubby Tucker
Fubby Tucker
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

In short..More creepy shit less of this crap..

The rest of the world is sick about hearing how you dumb fucks voted in Trump..

Stop complaining about the man and start wondering why you live in a society that thinks that is the best option you have for a leader or the best way for your society to progress..

Did you vote? IF no stop whining , you didn’t care enough then so why give a shit now.

Either way this is a surfing site that is now becoming US focused.. And on a slide since the departure of Rory.. I don’t come here to hear a surf Journos opinion on politics. I want surfing content… If i want stupid political comments ill read the main stream media..

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Fubby Tucker

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm mmm mm yeah?

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  Fubby Tucker

i voted. and i do wonder, god do i wonder. the wrong democrat getting the nomination didn’t help. this dude did not win the popular vote, but it should not have been close.

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

So a Weiner runs Rockstar?

Gabriel LeFrancois
Gabriel LeFrancois
9 years ago

Fuck… that just blew my ming

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Ming-pop! The new musical genre about to sweep Eurovision.

Mapski
Mapski
9 years ago

Missing what Cory Lopez brought to the ASP. Devilish style and spontaneous aggression.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

His leading arm and hand wiggles to much for my liking. I have seen him possibly get the heaviest back side tube (going right) Ive seen ridden at “S-Turns” proper.

J H
J H
9 years ago

Speaking of sponsorship…did JOB sign a JJF type deal when no one was looking? I was just by his house this morning and it’s being completely rebuilt. Or did he sell it?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  J H

The Pipe front one?

J H
J H
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Yes, sir.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  J H

That one was never his! His is behind The Gerry House!

J H
J H
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

That’s correct and that is the house that was knocked down and is currently being rebuilt. It still has “Pipeline” on the sliding gate in front. I’ll take a picture tomorrow when I pass by and send it to you.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Not sure if fake news works if you announce it as fake news.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

I knew I was doing something wrong!

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

Nonsense Julian’s Postie! It’s better!! Fake News is always so fucking tediously serious about itself. Mock Fake News on the other hand is admitting its true nature to itself. Keep this up Chas! There’s a Mock Fake News book out there somewhere!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Yeah, but then the mock fake news becomes the only source of pre-truth news. See Jon Stewart/Daily Show.

ps. Should I trademark ‘pre-truth’?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

Yes. Yes I believe you should.

funky Gibbon
funky Gibbon
9 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

That’s why I only read the onion these days. Entertaining and probably more truthful than “real” news.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago

So when do you and Derek start your full-time gigs at Breitbart?

J H
J H
9 years ago

They don’t hire Jews like Chas.

Rhino
Rhino
9 years ago
Reply to  J H

Watcha talkin bout? Chas is the Milo Yiannopoulos of surf!

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

We had that a month or two ago.

stewie
stewie
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

ya I just remembered

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  stewie
stewie
stewie
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

in my defense I can’t really take beachgrit rumors seriously

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  stewie

We always tell the truth-ish!

stewie
stewie
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

and btw that was a really funny article keep up the great work


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