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Beach Grit

Mick Fanning Finds Reverse Skeleton Bay!

Michael Ciaramella

by Michael Ciaramella

Give this man one good reason to rejoin the tour...

For several years I’ve watched the development of Skeleton Bay, an African left-hander commonly referred to as the best wave on the planet. Over time I’ve discerned its precise whereabouts, assembled a worthy squadron, stashed ample cash and pin-pointed the exact swell I’d need to make this dream a reality. This is the best wave in the world, and I must surf it before it’s gone.

But now Mick Fanning’s gone and fucked everything up. In Rip Curl’s latest edition of The Search, Fanning finds himself standing before the tropical, right-hand version of Skeleton Bay. I will say no more until you’ve truly savored this phenomenon.

You don’t need a mediocre explanation of the wave you just drooled over, so let’s jump straight back to me.

I’m pissed. Livid. All this time I’ve spent and money I’ve saved with sights set on Namibia, and Fanning just spits in my face. Kicks me in the shin. Calls me a fucking Episcopalian!

As a regular-footer and adorer of warm water, this wave is a clearly superior version of my once idealized African locale. But no worries, I can just transfer the money I saved for Namibia towards a trip to this conveyor belt heaven, right? Wrong. That sunofagun Fanning won’t divulge a peep! Not an ocean or continent or even a goddamn swell direction. But I’m not giving up.

The internet is great because eventually someone is bound to blab a worthy morsel. And when they do, I’ll be the first one there to devour it like a rabid vulture. In fact, maybe someone has already loosed a valuable secret! If you don’t hear from me in the next few days, I’ll be on Google Maps.