My enemies are mounting a furious attack. Help!
Things are getting serious. I’ve got Rip Curl trying to dislodge me from my current hiding place (Cardiff-by-the-Sea) and Stab magazine’s Sam McIntosh coming after me too very angry at the continual fun-making. Livid, in fact, with a frowny face and a bag full of Morgan Williamson adjectives that he’s flinging like adjectives grow on trees. Adjectives like “clotheshorse” “WeedMaps” and “group hug.”
“Stop!” I yell as a whole sentence “The weekend was a kick-back filled with beautiful people, in an enchanting location overlooking a lake and mountainside.” whizzes past my ear.
But I know Sam McIntosh won’t. He is livid with a frowny face and Rip Curl right in front of him with beige boardshorts so I need to hide and I need you. Karl Von Fanningstadt smartly suggested that I hide in Martin Potter’s tooth gap but the bags of cocaine I’m carrying won’t fit there.
Which leaves me with the following options:
n) Where Graham Stapelberg hid before Eddie Rothman slapped him in the Billabong North Shore A-Team house
o) Ex-WSL CEO Paul Speaker’s career
p) Scientology’s Celebrity Centre off Yucca and Franklin in Los Angeles
q) Luke Davis’s natural hair color
r) FCS II’s screw hole
s) SurfStitch’s stock numbers
t) Wherever SurfStitch’s Justin Cameron has gone
u) Fox’s sexual harassment hotline
v) Ocean Pacific
w) The truth about Owen Wright
x) Page 335 of Matt Warshaw’s History of Surfing (buy here!)
y) Samsung Galaxy phones (the ones that explode)
z) Between two cases of Michelob Ultra
HELP!
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
I can tell you that (t) Mr Cameron is hiding out in the pleasantly aromatic (coffee wafts) and suitable gentrified Northern Beaches of Sydney, NSW, Aussie, Aussie, Aussie….North Avalon to be precise, hobnobbing in a multi-million dollar waveside ‘retreat’……no doubt licking salty wounds and ready to pounce when (s) hits his ‘target’
Kelly Slater’s magic Firewire
Behind the fan of Conner’s secret turn
go to favela do Canta Galo in Rio make friends and go surf at the best breaks in Rio… Just saying
In Julian or Jordy’s world title trophy cabinets?
NORTH KOREA
Brutal. I like.
the chin-shaped hole in Russell Bierke’s 9’8
What about behind Jordy’s invisible bell claim
Blakey promised he would ring it off the hinges.
dude, bra, what is the truth?
More cliches please.
I ran out.
Is that why you met with the Outside Mag writer?
Writer’s block?
no tell me, for real , i want to know what the truth is with owen
Capitan Kenos
In amongst Trumps tax returns?
the Leucadian
FCS 2 screw hole because they are all empty.
We got it
Sorry I forgot this was the Mensa forum, sounds like you work for them.
zach weisburg’s venice-adjacent safe space