Laird Hamilton is back in the news! Controversial? Let's see!
The last time Laird Hamilton was in the news it was for saying that menstruating women are the cause of shark attacks. Oh the fun I had! Five days of nothing but Laird and periods. Five glorious, informative, fun-filled days. Did you have fun too? Don’t you wish we could have done ten days instead of five?
But we couldn’t do ten days because Laird Hamilton delivered a masterclass in what you are supposed to do when caught in a self-made controversy.
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!
I am certain Donald J. Trump’s staff was looking west during Period-Gate and thinking, “Gol’durn. Why isn’t Laird Hamilton the President of the United States? That boy can handle his business!”
Do you think Laird might run someday? Maybe in 100 or 200 years? He tells GQ in a recent interview, “I don’t even have an age. I don’t know how I could feel better.”
And then gives the magazine “life hacks” so that we can all forget our ages. His first is…
Coffee is the only energy drink you need. So long as you fatten it up.
“I use my coffee like other people use energy drinks,” Hamilton says. “But are you getting the most out of your coffee? Probably not.” The real secret to joe, he claims, is combining it with fats (like those in his Laird Superfood creamer) that time release the caffeine, so that your energy stays constant, instead of peaking and cratering. It also makes you sharper: “You know [how] you drink coffee, you’re all jacked up, but you’re still foggy-headed? The caffeine is jacking the body up. It’s not jacking the brain up. The fat’s feeding the brain. That’s where the focus comes in, and the mental clarity.” Important whether you’re outrunning a 50-foot swell or a 50-year-old boss in search of some overdue TPS reports.
They call this bulletproof coffee, no? So many people swear by it and I once tried but watching the butter melt in my coffee totally grossed me out. I’ll keep the jacked up foggy head thank you very much. Also, I will never be President of the United States.
Also, I hate the trendy new phrase “life hacks.” Like, way hate it.
Read the rest of Laird Hamilton’s life hacks here.