Let's embrace our mediocrity!
And really, how much world-class surfing can a person watch?
It’s quite tiresome to witness impeccable technique, seamless transitions and overall athleticism every damn day. Sometimes we need a dose of reality.
That’s where this video comes in. It features decent surfers at an exceptional wave in Scotland and makes me feel that, if I happened to be at Thurso East on a day of inside-out tubes, I could do some damage.
This video is the surfing equivalent of plus-size models. Please enjoy, fellow fatties!
Beyond the bowed knees, bogged rails and double-GoPro-action, the boys did a damn good job out there. Makes you realize that repetition and local knowledge can propel mediocrity to exceptionalism. This is why small-pronged men tend to be more faithful… or so a friend told me.
I sometimes wonder about the talent level of an average BeachGrit reader. In terms of intellect, humor, and writing ability, I’d give you guys a solid A-minus (on an industry scale, of course). When it comes to surfing ability, however, I’m skeptical.
Maybe if we could count everyone at the peak of their abilities it would be different, but considering most of you are forty-plus with families and full-time jobs, it’s hard to imagine you’d cross the C+ threshold, at least on average.
But do not fret! As they say C’s get degrees, and if it makes you feel any better, Inertia readers are on the short bus and the best surfers don’t read at all. You are the perfect middle ground!
This makes me think we should take a team trip to Thurso East. We’ll storm the coast like Braveheart and seize the lineup with our Mayhems and Sharp Eyes and Hypto Cryptos. We’ll send Wiggolly’s Paddling Style after any local rabble-rousers and take turns air dropping to a hard-earned demise. Maybe even make a tube or two.
What a glorious day that would be!
I’m guessing Mikey’s schoolyard bully’s surname started with “Mac”.
If I were to catch a wave at my local and successfully dodge all of the surf school students, what grade would I get? Would definitely require a combination of major manouevres.
And if I successfully hit all of them? Do multiple balls come out when this happens?
Tell me about it! Pleasure Point in Santa Cruz is like pinball. Surprised no one has been severely bludgeoned at this rate.
the good ones usually are….
C student, D+ surfer, F- internet fuckwit
Does that mean that you’re really bad at being a fuckwit? Or a capital F for fuckwit? Either way you’ve got my vote, Audit!
Thanks bleachy! Both!
The Australian newspaper describes Derek as “good-looking, astute and charming.”
When I posted the video of Chas teaching you proper journalistic grenade tossing, I wasn’t trying to be prophetic. Yet, here we are. Luckily we like you Mike. Or perhaps it’s just that we would like you to succeed. A lot of this is based upon our faith (I use that term with angst) that Derek and Chas made the right call with you. BG has really improved with the departing of that sloth Rory. This past week was epic in the sense that WE impressed our collective will upon the dark side. It was like Morgan was hoping for BG commentariat support. We support fun, not fuckwits. Fuck Stab. Fuck The Inertia. Chas accomplished the unaccomplishable. The improbable became possible and then simply happened. We showed that the BG business model works. Its funny when a for profit business fails to generate profits, their efforts morph into this charitable sort of crusade for fun. We can’t move mountains……yet. But we showed we could kick over an ant hill. This year, BG isn’t just raising a participation trophy. One other thing. If you try stormng the beach Braveheart style, you’re going to fucking drown. Claymore swords are heavy as fuck.
I can’t help thinking you’re a little too emotionally invested in this. I bet you’re a God botherer as well, aren’t you?
Investing has always been superior to betting. Keep up your mediocrity J.P. . it’s fun for everyone
Hey! Your comment got featured! This must be, like, the best day of your life, huh?!
Much like a God botherer you keep coming back JP… I thought you’d quit the Grit?
I’m just about to again. For the same reasons I quit Facebook.
I quit FB 3 times over the weekend.
Because you have no fucking friends?
Good one. Don’t think it’ll make a featured comment though.
That’s not why I’m here! I’m here to meet interesting, like minded gentlemen like you, to rattle our sabres, swing our little cocks and play a small role in the death of our ridiculous surf culture. What makes you hard, Chazz? Besides MC of course, that’s a given.
“…and play a small role in the death of our ridiculous surf culture.” is the most delectably subversive fragment I can imagine. Very inspiring.
Fuck yeah!
Im sure one of those die hards is the “Doc Renneker” of Thurso. A legend among his crew. No doubt after sliding of the wetty and getting into warm vehicles their smiles and feeling of content lasted the week. I will take some of that mediocrity! Please and thank you..
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
A truly great track/ album. Thanks for reminding me.
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Mid-Life. Some waves I’m struggling to pop-up. Next wave I’m down carving evil
Links to mid-life surfing Inertia articles, Adam Herron?
what about you Mike, young stud in the prime of his life, footloose and fancy free with nothing to do except roam the globe chasing tubes, what would you rate yourself?
While we’re taking guesses, I’ll try MC:
Averageish North County SD under-25. Lands lots of small airs, B+ surfer at 2-foot, probably not very good when it’s solid overhead. Likely hasn’t surfed world-class points or reefs ever. Likely hasn’t had a real job ever, either. Pleasant in local lineups to a fault, though it reeks of passive aggressiveness to strangers. Looks down on drugs and womanizing on surf trips. Doesn’t own a board that catches waves in deep-water, high-period swell. Confusion of naïveté and innocence has caused him to miss set waves, lose opportunities.
mostly wrong but not totally wrong
Hmmmmm I think maybe.. B+
Assuming A- is the best guy at your local, A is a QS warrior and A+ is CT
You’ve never typed “michael ciaramella hawaii 2012” into your browser?
Haha isn’t it funny how things change over time? For instance, I absolutely hate my style in that clip but also I’m not sure I would go on many of those waves today.
I think that’s what moving to Southern California does to a person… turns you into a vanity-obsessed pussy.
I thought Zeus was joking, but not.
I’ve got to give you a B+ Mike but that style is stinky.
…is better now I promise
wonders never cease at BGrit — a “surf journalist” who can surf decent….Nick Carroll & Luke Kennedy aside…thats a first I think….not counting derek hynd (retired)
There’s was a guy named Dave Parmenter that surfed ok. Not a bad writer either. And from Newport!
Steve Hawk???
Yes, yes. We all know that this is Michael’s way of saying “Look At Me Everbody!”
Unfortunately he has also committed harikari for his hopes of being a writer.
Well you shoved your journalistic grenade right down your own shorts with that one J.P.. Blew your balls off and mangled your dick. Good thing you still got being an asshole going for you.
I’m sorry, you’ve lost me.
Instead I’ll just say Praise The Lord! You’ll like that.
You should be sorry. Sorry that you brutalize the free world with your mediocre writing career.
It’s not my career, mate. It’s just a hobby that pays me. How much do you get for hanging around comment boards trying to be funny?
Nothing. But I’m gonna keep trying till I get this funny thing right.
They pay you? Fuck I might write some shit about Harry the hippo and Colin the crocodile! Do they pay you to come over here and try to be intelligent?
Onya, Jimbo!
where do you do your writing Chass?
Are you not aware that Chass is none other than Dane Reynold’s favourite writer – the inertia’s great JP Currie!
The waves were the star or that clip, but those guys did a good job of making it look like I could handle it. I would rate myself a solid C, but others might say C-. Thanks for being generous in your fairly accurate appraisal Mike.
It looks pretty bloody tasty, but I imagine Thurso has some hidden traps for the unwary C-grader? Too cold and fickle for me to go there on my criminally short holidays, but it left me wondering.
That is why we like it
Based on the good surfers I’ve known over the years, I’m not sure why anybody would want to be one.
This article was a D at best
I’ll tell you something for nothing, Mikey, if you turned up at T.E. with that sort of attitude you’d get your fucking face burst.
Probably, and I never would, but boy it was fun to hit one of your soft spots!
Cunts are cunts, Michael. I may have a low tolerance threshold for them but I can assure you I don’t dwell on it.
Why so serious, Petal? Mikey just having a little laugh.
Why are you here? Come up with something witty; why pick fights with fellow scribes? Is this a competition? Do you have a small cock? Have fun man thats why “we” come on this site. kook
Bruh, your desperate attempts to convince us you shred is getting more cringy by the article.