Now is the time for us to stand behind the world's greatest surfer!
Fucking son of a bitch Surfer magazine. Damned motherfucking piece of shit. And let me catch my breath……… Ohhhhhh hell. Surfer magazine…. you are a bastard publication. An unloved asshole. A rim lick. A ball kick. And I am coming for your ginger-haired Editor-in-Queef Todd Prodanovich.
I am coming for him hard.
The Inertia‘s Zach Weisberg has been vanquished. Me n Stab‘s Morgan Williamson are now best pals. It’s only Todd Prodanovich of Surfer magazine, the backbone-less wonder. Todd Prodddddanovich of Surfer magazine, the King of All Chickens.
I know what happened on the North Shore. I know, am coming and hell (BeachGrit) is coming with me.
In any case, I once wrote a story titled Grace, Kelly for Surfing magazine but Todd Prodanovich at Surfer has apparently appropriated the brilliant header and used it for a Scott Bass piece about surfing or some shit.
Grace, Kelly was a seminal piece of surf writing because it was how I met surfing’s grandest poobah of all the one, the only, Matt Warshaw.
He had penned a story in the New York Times almost 10 years ago about how Kelly Slater should retire. I disagreed in Surfing.
Now the story is gone, disappeared by that cowardly Todd Prodanovich, but we (me n Matt) first met in New York at a film festival. It was the high water mark of my career. We drank beer, we laughed, we hugged and have been fast friends ever since.
In any other case, I was looking for that story today because today there is also much chatter that Kelly Slater, with his broken J-Bay foot, should retire. I wanted to reference it and reference Matt Warshaw’s New York Times piece because I disagree more now than I did then.
Kelly Slater needs to surf until he’s 50 and probably until he’s 60 and maybe until he’s 70. He needs to stick around and not go off and really get serious about his brand or his boards or his pool. He needs to stick around and do what he does. Surf professionally.
Why?
I don’t exactly know for sure but I feel it. I feel that he should push beyond the Favre absurdity into new realms of possibility. Oh I don’t think Kelly Slater will ever win another world title but I think he could compete and be interesting and surf well for another two decades at least and especially if he changes his boards.
I think as long as Kelly Slater is surfing professionally then global warming will stay in check, that Kim Jong Un will not really be able to develop a nuclear warhead, that the earth will keep spinning.
Kelly Slater is as essential as chemical bonding.
Do you dare disagree?
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BUT IS IT NON-GMO?????
More importantly, is Nick Carroll nude from the waste down in the above photo?
Damn the anti Kelly heathens, I hope you all break your metatarsals
With the sport so insulated by the brands for decades, you only wonder what specialty Dr’s Kelly has visited to prolong his endeavor. Lance Armstrong was a “goat”, and we know how that ended. So the question/story is has R.K.S used HGH or any other banned substance in other sports to keep his edge?
Good lord!
Used to hate Kelly, too straight laced for me. However, in the last few years, I’ve grown quite fond. More so in the way that I drove my last car several years past the time it should have been retired, and still mourn it every day. I don’t care about titles or equipment or pools or failed deck pad companies… I just want to see how long and how far the old boy can push on. Hell hes gone from undisputed leader to the greatest under dog of all time.
Go you good thing.
Personally think it needs to be virgin from the northern European region based on my trip of 20 days recently!!! Unless your totally spruiking the Mediterranean diet to cure all ails???
Chas. I’m laying on my back for 4 weeks with a new bionic right hip. Reading Beachgrit and its updates 24/7 checking with new stuff on Matts Surfing History, watching J Bay in full and the rerun and now no Kelly I wanna break my foot Sid
Kelly’s surfing is more vicious than ever.No way should he quit.
He really may not even qualify now, also if someone else does themselves a mischief he may not even get an injury wildcard.
Oh Chas! No one misses Rabbit, M.R., Carroll, Curren, even Andy. John John, Filipe and Conner will rule for the next 10 years and Kelly will sulk off, fail at multiple businesses and be sitting alongside Joe Turpel within five years.
You don’t mean that…
I am a man of conviction. But on those lonely nights when I do miss them just a teeny bit, Yoo Toob provides.
So why do commentators and surfers still refer to Occy and Curren as the benchmark of surfing , say for J-Bay ??
prediction , the WSL is not commercially sustainable , at present ol’ Dirk is a benevolent Dictator , until he see’s there is no money to be made on its investment , the gravy train he created , will soon run out of gravy , the surf industry is on it knees , the future of Pro surfing as is , has never looked so “mission Impossible!”
Just as people still worship Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan and Ayrton Senna. Greatness transcends any era. Rip Curl and Billabong aren’t telling us to respect their surfing, they earnt it.
I’m not the biggest Kelly fan. But Mr. Smith is right. For reasons that are hard to explain , we need him . Maybe The GOAT staying on tour extends all of our surf lives….
yeah
Way to bring your A-game to this board! That was some insightful shit right there.
Kelly’s been largely irrelevant on tour for a few years now. I won’t miss him.
That’s the thing. You totally will. You’ll weep when he’s gone and you’re eating North Korean kimchee for breakfast.
I watch for JJF, Filipe and Gabs.
when you say “weep” I hear ‘meep’ https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I love kimchee
Oh me too! But I imagine the North Korean sort ain’t as tasty.
I love all the gals they put on the military parades too.
If we get the gals and the kimchee maybe things won’t be so bad?
Finally got around to reading your book Chas, good read. Eddie Rothman rampaging through the Billabong house cracking CEO skulls? Lovin’ it
Free read too, god bless the library!
Not free. The publisher got paid and hopefully Chas got his 12 cents.
One water molecule is made of one John atom and then another John atom which form around one Kelly atom. H2O is actually J2K.