A surprise event featuring the world's second best surfers!
It’s allegedly happening! It’s allegedly really happening. I spent the day at the beach, mincing around with a pink foamie and left my phone at home. Many fun was had by me and I felt, “God bless the United States of America and her President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho…” in my heart and was pleased.
Then I came home and there was a rumor on my phone from a very trusted and almost always correct source.
The World Surf League is planning on holding a surprise WQS event at the Kelly Slater Wave Ranch in Tulare, County California!
The future purportedly starts today!
Now, let’s wonder together… what level QS do you imagine it will be? 1000 points? 3000 points? a full 6000 points?
Which professional CT surfers will show up to try their hand in science’s miracle? Will Owen Wright? Adriano de Souza? Kelly Slater himself?
If you had to put money on who will win, right now, who would you say?
And, lastly, which surf world event will Kelly try to overshadow with the event? Will he hold it during Surfer Poll? The WSL banquet? John John Florence’s birthday party?
This truly is the greatest day of all time. One that will live in infamy. And now back to your regularly scheduled programing…
No, I’m not Julian. But I did have a chat with him yesterday as he was cleaning up from stickering his Jeffrey’s quiver. Mentioned the ‘Grit, with which he was familiar. To confirm Chas’s original premise; the wave hound had returned after the contest and was chasing the new swell. “It’s only 3 hours away and Cloudbreak is so* good.”
*Emphasis placed on this word.
Curious to see what type of chicks show up to watch the comp, Fresno ‘tang scene is lit
This is the other 3%.
97% of the conversations Kelly Slater has each day are exactly this.
Middle aged bald guy inviting me to his Neverland Surf Ranch? Sounds legit
Hi, Bubbles!
I thought the same thing when my buddy told me there’s waterslides outside Puerto Escondido, fully thought I was going into a kidney selling ring and there was just a waterslide, middle of the mountain.
i think Kelly next move should to freeze himself now like Austin powers then come back and totally own everyone again.
yassss pink foamie. i am jealous of the pink foamie.
er, what were we talking about again?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
into it.
yesterday was foamie day but i don’t have a pink one. which, i need maybe.
Do Americans have the styrofoam covered with plastic hessian ones? I collected a few but my wife is making me give them away to friends with babies. At least I will be able to say I gave them their first surfboards!
I think we need a photo? I’m not sure what plastic hessian is. Who’s got me a translator?
We have lots of versions of the pink thing Chas has there. Lots. But not all of them are pink, alas.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Yesssss, we had those when I was a kid, but not sure if they’re still available. It’s mostly Wavestorms now!
I did, however, just learn that you can buy a Hypto Krypto on Amazon. 👀
Yeah, I haven’t seen any like these in the shops for a while.
The fact that you can buy anything other than books from Amazon is a constant source of amazement to me. A hypto krypto, not so much.
*amazonment…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
If you want rash, here’s my first board, a GT coolite. Must say, Dad was looking cool.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The original ones didn’t have the covering and were a little aggressive on the skin if a speck of sand got anywhere in between board and body. The first place I remember you could buy them from was KFC and they were the monkey hangered, 3 speed, banana seated dragster dreams of my early surf years. Somebody hit on the idea of a covering to minimise gut rash, but it was never completely successful.
This example was the easiest one for me to get from under the house. Note the 3/8″ thick fin, 4″ (at least) board and minimal effort in shaping rails.
it’s pretty much all this, https://www.amazon.com/gp/p… all the time around here 🙂
For some reason, almost of the sort tops you can buy here are blue. Henry Ford style.
How could you choose?
Collect ’em all! Because, capitalism.
So jaunty!
I’ve never run so jaunty in my life! Mincing! That’s what I’m doing. Mincing down the beach!
I’m sure you have done more profound writing and will do more profound writing in the future. But your use of the word ‘mincing’ brings boundless joy to my heart.
You’re floating. Not really, but if you hold your phone out at arm’s length. Your floating
nice board holding technique chas!
Are you sure you’re holding the board correctly Chas?
What beer will they serve at The Surfer’s Lounge?
Purps
purps flavoured beer?
Purps Hard Kombucha
Dream big.
Filipe toldeo will win it. He’ll be the only guy who can do anything but get barrled, ever seen anybody hit the actual lip frontside, not turn, lip hit. Also it’s gonna be a long fucking contest, waiting for the diffusion of the energy so every Brazilian doesn’t complain that they’re wave wasn’t as smooth as Medina’s armpit.
I’m calling boring as fuck after two heats of repetitive backhand jams and high line wraps, followed by a head dip. Happy to be proven wrong.
But sadly…we’ll still watch just to prove ourselves right.
Or…like me…I’ll do anything to avoid actual work.