One of the finest finals of all time!
Can you believe that Teahupoo (Better Mr. Longtom? Proper enough?) is over? Can you believe that nothing but nothing stopped its march straight to the final? Not the many sides of white supremacy, not lower quality surf, not temper tantrum surf board shooting, not Gabriel Medina’s apparent demon possession.
Nothing!
Longtom will, of course, bring the most scintillating full coverage in just a few moments but until then let’s just celebrate Australia’s Julian Wilson.
And let’s also talk about Joe Turpel!
Most men, as they age, turn crackly and haggard. Too much time in the sun. Too much hard livin. Too much vodka and it all goes straight to the face. And the face turns crackly and haggard. Skin that leathers. Red patches mix in with white patches. Eyes that lose spark and stare dull-like, angry even, into the distance.
But look at Joe Turpel!
His face looks softer than a baby’s bottom. Fuller too. Skin such an even shade of tan without one blemish. Eyes that gaze, innocent and naive, into the distance. He looks like a doll. Like a Russian Matryoshka doll and, speaking of, how much would you pay for a set of WSL Matryoshka dolls? Waz inside Pete inside Pottz inside Ron inside Joe.
$50.00?
$100.00?
Joe Turpel is surfing’s Benjamin Button. He is our fountain of youth.
And congrats again to Julian Wilson coming back from a combo situation in one of the greatest ever heats in professional surfing history. Have you ever read a worse analysis of one of the greatest ever heats in professional surfing history?
Stay tuned for real coverage coming soon!
“even Pottz is starting to become tiresome to the ear” …even????;-)
Turpel say: “Nice and Easy” ,say it one more fucking time..
You think Nike will absorb the bigger Hurley riders(JJF, Julian, Kolohe, Filipe, Carissa) to go more in the direction of Nike SB for surf? Or they will shed the entire surf business along with Hurley?
Did Julian always have Nike stickers as well as Hurley ones?
Can you imagine my excitement at seeing J-Dub hugging Rosie after the final? That’s like one degree of separation!
Are you ever tempted to “screen” his mail?
No, I have great respect for the postman/client confidentiality contract. (It’s all bills and junk mail). I did put his bin back when he was doing J-Bay though. All about community.
You deserve that title win JP.
I’d like to thank…
Pottz looks like he’s on the can
He is sucking his gut in.
Posture is everything!
All sandals should be banned by law, my G.
Nothing can make me a bigger Julian Wilson fan than Mendina.
Totally unrelated, but check my new Pyzel Ghost … https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I have watched soft porn with my grandma.
I hate it when a Nicki Minaj song starts up on Mtv at Grandma’s too.
And much like a baby’s bottom, Turpel’s hole spews forth shit commentary that has the foul stench of the excrement of newborn life.
He deserves!
Great victory, from a fantastic surfer!
The camera men were straight from the school of soft porn, missed so many fucking waves it was a ridiculous.
Chas gotta get with you on some hot nife fins…
Yes! I’ll hit you tomorrow!