His eponymous wave pool also swings the other way!
The World Surf League just released footage of Mr. Pipeline, Gerry Lopez, having a languid little cruise in Lemoore, California. Barrels n turns n such. 100 miles from the nearest beach. 500 miles from the nearest barrel. 1000 miles from Bend, Oregon. 5000 miles from the North Shore.
Let’s turn to the League for a description.
When Kelly Slater and his crew completed construction on their latest version of the wave, they revealed a perfect left. When it came time to deciding who would ride the first wave, Slater knew exactly who he wanted to give the honor to. “I really wanted Gerry to ride the first left, just to say thanks for your commitments and what you’ve given to surfing over the years.”
Gerry, who’s been operating on a higher plane for decades now, is a longtime believer in tapping into surf energy wherever it can be found, whether that’s a speed reef in Indonesia, a river wave near his house in Bend, Oregon, or the Surf Ranch. So what did he think after riding a few gems?
“That’s the future, bro,” he told Slater afterward. “That’s it man.”
I have nothing to add at this time, though am chasing leads and… interviews (just kidding. I’m mixing a cocktail). Tomorrow we’ll discuss in gret depth (just kidding. I’ll be hungover).
In truth though, is this really the future?
Like really really?
Like really really really really really?
More as it develops (just kidding. Unless “as it develops” refers to my alcoholism).
Pool wave riding might not be surfing exactly, but at least there are no hydrofoils in the lineup.
I look at that wave and I say to myself “Something’s missing.”
Most of the time I feel like a piece of shit but I just know that if Gerry Lopez patted me on the head like the lip of that wave, then everything would be ok.
Rick Kane felt like that too. Of course he had Sam George’s wife patting his….
Disqus at times has been both a cure & a disease to both you and I…
There was no reason to say that.
It was the voices.
Is there anything Jennifer Lopez can’t do?
She can’t sing ” Jenny From the Rock”.
Knowing that she can out-twerk Gerry must make sleeping easier.
I always knew this!
Kelly is a Kommunist!!!
KS… Korean Style!
It even has the same haircut as Kim Jong-un …
As a reg foot I say: fuck it – make em all lefts!
Ummm.. was that Tom Carroll paddling around in there also? Paging Mr Nick Carroll to confirm sighting…
confirmed. Little Tommy had a crack at it. I think because he is the only goofy foot short enough to fit into that barrel.
So, why doesn’t Gerry make the wave look fat then?
…but still scratching his head and wondering how to turn all this hype into dollars.
That’s not his problem. Ziff has plunged this into a tennis-centric think tank with a no crowd waves at center court mentality.
It’s everyone’s problem!
Just wait till a cottage industry is born that provides rehabilitative treatment for people wanting to get off the wave pool surfing and get clean learning to ocean surf. Then our neighborhoods will really go to shit.
Just Say No!
This is your brain…
This is your brain on wave-pool.
Goodbye BeachGrit, the WSL now has Disqus.
Son of a bitch.
Blood Alcohol Content Fued:
Envelop vs. Develop
Have they hit you up to moderate it yet?
No! But I am very tempted to put my trolling hat back on…
Do it! use the name “optimus prime” …
Have you seen the comments and votes for any Medina WSL YouTube Heat Recap?
Y’all gonna be busy trolling WSL disqus
Rubbing my hands in glee at bringing some European sarcasm/bitterness to the WSL.
Has, as in using? Or has as in owns? Fuckers.
I wish they brought it! and started the World Commentating League…
Comment pools!
The shallow end is going to be crowded.
Can we get a Fantasy League for commentators?
Wait til the Stab crew get their commentary meat-hooks into the presenters.
They’ll close down the Disqus account pretty fast.
They don’t write about poop samples though.
Maybe the WSL is not writing about poop samples, but half of the waves ridden this year on the CT have been “poop samples”.
Damn, nailed the Plot twist. They’ve been metaphorically collecting shit all year long…. very “vanilla sky” of them
I’m late to the party as usual, but I have an important question: how is everyone pronouncing Disqus?
Logically it should be “discuss”, but in my head it’s always been “discus” and I imagine everyone throwing javelins, wrestling etc for the chance to wear the olive wreath.
I think the “s” ‘s are silent. Sounds like DQ = Diss Qualified
“Spell cucumber”
“C-U…”
“No, not sea cucumber. The normal cucumber. Q-U…”
Ask Throwing.
Ocean Dome sadly chuckles to nobody in particular, “been there.”
And here I thought only clowns could sadly chuckle.
Especially as only clowns would split the infinitive.
“I want to tell you to joyfully split your infinitives, to happily shatter them”
I couldn’t resist, sorry.
Split away sunshine.
Double infinity?
Its a Tom Chivers quote on the subject matter. His next sentence…
“To firmly grasp your linguistic axe and to brutally cleave the little sods in twain.”
https://tommychivers.wordpr…
OoOoooh, a linguistic axe being brutally cleaved.
And now it’s all about *drops mic…
no backhanded compliment, no passive aggressive tone from kelly. I must watch until one is found.
The only backhand compliment anyone gives a goofy is “yeah he goes beyond vertical but it is repetitive”.
like a windscreen wiper
Still, better than the classic “there goes Pottz (I think it was Pottz) cranking himself down the reef”.
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
This is amazing!
“gret depth”? Don’t you mean grit depth?
I find it hard to believe that Kelly did not surf the left first. Who’s gonna tell? All Ranch employees and contractors signed an NDA that specifically provided for damages due Kelly in the event of disclosure that that employee’s first born son, no matter if they’ve been born or not, would be required to have the first and middle name Kelly Kelly.
I thought this exact same thing but was mid sip and hen pecking the keyboard so it seemed too daunting to actually write.
Genius dwells in our follies my friend.
picturing you one fingering it with a cocktail in your left hand, pinky out
He’s a starfucker, that Robert Kelly.