What would you swap for pro-level surf skills?
A week or so ago, I had an interesting back and forth with the little pro surfer gal Sabre Norris. The kid is sharper than most adults and has a curiosity that never dulls. Twelve years old. What an interesting life she’s creating for herself.
After I’d sent Sabre a critique of her story about going snowboarding for the first time, she wrote:
“You are lucky that you can just look at the writing and you know how to make it better. That’s an easy thing for you. It’s kind of like a secret talent because if you just saw you walking in the street you wouldn’t know that that talent lived inside you. I always think that’s interesting, you know if you just see a random person and you wonder if they have a secret talent and what it might be?”
Then she asked: “Would you swap your talent of writing for say Ryan Callinan (a surfer who is not on tour but really good still) surf ability?”
As it happens, I’m contemptuous of my writing. I find it derivative, lazy, misses important points, my own opinion is clouded by my inability to express clearly, I bury the lead (this story included) and I make people angry when I don’t mean to.
So, yes, Sabre, I would happily hand over the keys to whatever it is that comes out of these fingers just to feel the wind in my hair like Ryan Callinan. I would also include a substantial cash amount.
Just the fantasy of being Ryan has me panting and threatening hospitalisation from nervous exhaustion.
Am I alone in these fantasies?
Would you give up your primary skill to be a pro surfer?
Cash?
Your cute wife?
What turn would Chloe give up to be able to write better than a 10 year old?
I’ve never, ever met a pro surfer and wished we could trade places. I can’t even imagine the possibility of thinking that.
I would however give up lots to be a pro baseball player
jeter…
My student loans.
i have no desire to alternate between pumping frantically and trying to fit as many pointless snaps in on every single wave, no. i’d die of boredom on the fiftieth “little backhand jam”.
now, if i got to trade something for the skills of hynson, nuuhiwa, young, abillera, lopez, etc., in their prime…
I’d gladly give up my high tolerance for opiates, it’s a win win.
Careful peeps. You might laugh at this but perhaps with too much talent in the one area you love more than anything else, you might get bored. Where’s the challenge?
More importantly; where’s the empathy for those less enabled?
This opens the usual debate about drop-ins and peak hierarchy.
Later, after walking amongst the highest echelons of Hi-Perf anything, the only way to go next, is down. Ponder that anxiety.
Jonsey drop Hightened Anxiety Inordinaty.. Thanx Dave.
Sun wave R.C.
35 IQ points, my thick(ish) head of hair and the ability to craft a diplomatic yet forceful work email.
Thickish head of hair you say?
I suppose you wouldn’t be interested in my wobbly bottom turn to backside tube faceplant. Could I interest you in my delightful young wife?
Send me an email if you’re interested.
Possibly if you can throw in some Surfstitch shares and tickets to the premier of Lairds new film.
So you’re into S+M? The missus will be pleased.
Less sado, more masochism based on some of the choices I’ve made.
Don’t worry – she’ll take care of the sado.
Sounds like a keeper
(I jest, of course. She’s an angel! Who loves me despite/because of my resemblance to Shrek.)
I still want the follicles though.
Own the baldness.
Technically you still have the same sprouting follicles… they just be teeny-tiny. Num’sayin?
Remember: too much hair might make you into a Gabby.
Hmmm. “It’s there, it’s just teeny-tiny”. I wonder how many people outside the prison system have taken consolation from that phrase?
I wouldn’t change my life for nobody’s. Not even Slater. Who knows what kind of demons live inside that bald head!
I once observed the Kelly up close – dolphins were allowed to swim with him at an aquatic theme park – you might be on to something regarding those demons.
My privileged white skin and blonde hair
But that’s all you need to make it in this industry!
I’ll just join the Brazilian storm
welcome lil’ monkey…
Ryan Callinan…..what about Ben Dunn?
How far down the tree would you go?
And you’re tripping Dell. You’ve got an instantly recognisable style- a style that launched a magazine and is, in fact, still widely and shamelessly copied- a very unique turn of phrase and au contraire about pissing people off….you can turn the head of the angriest and most recalcitrant bull troll. They become meek and gentle in your hands.
You’d trade all that for 5 years on the QS, maybe a year on the CT losing 2nd round heats and your own regional surf school?
I believe he would. And for less!
he’s trolling you Karol!
I’m not even on the bridge!
Ben Dunn, no, I think, a little too old. Ryan, yes. Craig Anderson, yes, yes, yes and yes! I would also like to be that little Japanese man Hirohito who was a razor blade at Trestles yesterday.
ha I would give up my old age to be , Sage Erickson,so I could……?
I’d chop my dick off and trade for tati ww butt, I’d be rich donning that gear…
giving a little more thought on that I’d keep the wiener, tranny paychecks are way fatter…
whats ben dunn doing now?
I’d gladly trade my landscaping ability to surf like Slater
I will wait for the new format from WSL.
If it is dripping with planes, cars, women, cash to roll around in – then will swap my wife and 3 kids for sure!!!
Lucky for me, cash and a wife are both assets I fail to attain. So whatever I do have, put me in. Even if I’m losing Round 2 heats to Jaddy.
I would absolutely give up my photo and editing abilities if i could surf half as good as Roach. No questions asked.
Then i wouldnt get invited on trips to just be a camera guy and only get to surf when its 1-2ft and on shore
Roach?
Paul Roach! The bodyboarder who gave surfing tail-slides!
the guy who ended up on the wrong side of history….a hero of mine.
And punched out Slater?
Yeah the Slater punching, tail throwing, mad genius of dropknee
Yes!
http://beachgrit.com/2014/1…
Roach only gave it to americans, Dave Ballard gave it to the aussies. But yeah tailslides and reverses spawned from those dropknee pioneers
Ballard! Yes!
Is there a Chris Roach, too, in the surf world?
Edit: hold up, I was thinking of the OG snowboard pro!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Do you love the idea of a bodyboard museum too?
Yeah actually, right now i work for Hubboards and Custom X. The biggest area we are seeing growth in sales is the older guys getting back outnin the water. The vintage Bodyboard market is ridiculous right now with guys paying upwards of $500 for used boards in decent nick that they used to ride or wanted when they were younger. Now Custom X is working on creating new updated versions of popular old models and guys are frothing on them. The museum is sick since it holds alot of the classic photos that got all of us into the sport. That image of Roach is what i see in my head every time i try to throw a turn. The style and rail game he had was mental! No one who seriously rides waves could look at Roach surfing and deny that he doesnt destroy. Even now when random 1min clips of him pop up people still freak out.
Tell me: how much is a Mach 20 RS worth? Many years ago, those retractable fins had me spellbound! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
150-200usd in premium condition, more if it has some OG stickers that dont look like death. Im actually looking for one now to add to my collection. I just scored a BZ Diamond Rail Stinger and a Toobs Roach. The Mach 20RS would finish up my Retro Quiver
The big money boards are Mach 8txs in odd colorways, original Turbo 3s and 4s, and Numbered BZ Ben Severson Boards. Also anything actually ridden by guys like Tamega, Hubb, Stewart, Ballard, Kainoa, etc. Also werent you in the Holding On Documentary? Those Shark Island boys are mental.
Yes, was me. My first-ever interview was with Ballard, Nugget and someone else, a 24-hour drinkathon. Maybe Wingnut?
And it’s interesting to note that Taylor Steele regarded Roach as part of the Momentum Generation.
I mean,
1. He slays the shit out of a wave
2. Dropknee airs.
3. He punched Kelly in the face repeatedly
In the parlance of our times:
“That dude Squad”
Anything but my addiction tentacle porn
I would trade my limbs for pro surf skills, all would marvel at such a skilled surfer with no limbs.
My only appendage would be wet, in and out of the water, as I would command the pussy and the waves.
I would never wear surf branded clothes, those “limbist” atrocities never touching my skin.
Hell Yeah
Nah, I’m happy with how I surf. I just want to surf pro level boat trips with no one else on the boat.
We’ll send you to 12 foot chopes on your first ride.
Yeah, nope. That’s a definite ‘nope’ from him.