Surfer: “The darker parts of humanity!”

By Chas Smith

7 years ago

Surfer Magazine describes surf trip to Nigeria, Africa!

Just two days ago I posted a piece about living in shrill times where all of our words are subjected to such scrutiny, peeled apart and generally found to contain some sexist, racist or other inappropriate connotation. Safe spaces are erected to to protect us all from the tiniest bit of nuance. Etc.

But sometimes our words are just racist and wildly inappropriate all by themselves. Like Surfer magazine’s today!

The “bible of our sport” took to Instagram a few minutes ago and posted a picture of Luke Davis being barreled in the West African country of Nigeria.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYoJmUCFecy/?taken-by=surfer_magazine

Let’s read that caption again.

The country of Nigeria has always been synonymous with the darker parts of humanity. But a small coastal village is changing the image of the country one wave at a time. Join @lukedavisthegrey and photographer @alanvangysen on their journey to Nigeria. For the full “Lagoisan Oasis” article from our most recent issue, click the link in bio. #SURFERphotos

And one more time.

The country of Nigeria has always been synonymous with the darker parts of humanity. But a small coastal village is changing the image of the country one wave at a time.

And once more.

The country of Nigeria has always been synonymous with the darker parts of humanity.

For the honest to goodness life of me I have no idea what the “darker parts of humanity” could be referring to other than the obvious. Is it… a nod to the 1967 – 1970 Nigerian civil war? Or… being Africa’s largest economy? Or… I’m at a loss.

Surfer Editor-in-Chief Todd Prodanovich? Can you help me here? What “darker parts of humanity” is Nigeria synonymous with?

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Desperately seeking: The perfect surf song!

By Chas Smith

7 years ago

Is there one song out there that sums up our shared experience perfectly?

If you are a regular here at BeachGrit then you know how fascinated I am by Cornwall and the British surfing scene. It is a whole world of endless wonder because it seems to mirror what happens in the rest of surfing but is, at the same time, completely disconnected from it.

Like a grand social experiment studying what happens when you remove sun and warmth from a quintessentially sunny and warm pastime.

And so it was with much thrill, this morning, that I clicked on the story Watch Surf Champion and Acclaimed Rockers Collaborate on Special Song in Cornwall.

Who was this surf champion? And these acclaimed rockers? Obviously I had heard of neither but let’s poke our heads into this alternate universe and learn!

Cornwall’s gnarly waves and its rural rock’n’roll have inspired an unlikely collaboration between a British surf champion and one of the region’s most successful bands.

Three-times British champ Alan Stokes and Wille and the Bandits star in a a new online documentary series, Fins and Strings, which compares and contrasts the worlds of the professional musician and the pro surfer.

The series follows the Newquay surfer and the internationally acclaimed band as they work together to write the ultimate surf soundtrack.

Hmmmmmm.

Oh, I am not doubting that Alan Stokes and Willie and the Bandits will come up with something very fine for the Cornwall scene but what do you think the ultimate best ever surf song is in real life?

I submit Turbonegro’s All of my Friends are Dead. You won’t be able to beat it but you can try.

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Dane Reynolds, father of three, searches for the flicker of sweet kinship in the eyes of his twin baby gals.

Dane and Corts just had two little gals!

By Derek Rielly

7 years ago

The dynasty of the one time best surfer in world and Ask Pam mastermind grows!

A few hours ago, your favourite couple, the one-time best surfer in the world (2006-2012), Dane Reynolds, and Ask Pam mastermind, falconer and clothier Corts Jaedtke, burst out twin gals.

Can you believe it’s been two years since Sammy Boo rained on the decade-long lovers?

Via the publishing phenomenon of Instagram, we can inspect the two children. Below, is the surfer husband, slightly awed, perhaps a little scared by the reality of two infants whom he must protect and support.

Here, the mother, gorgeous despite exertion.

What symbols of virility the pair have proven to be.

One, a tall stud with a natural hairdo, and Courtney, with the luminous eyes and strong face. Loving each other since they were very young.

I wonder, in the west, where child-bearing is delayed and marriage viewed as the folly of the slightly nutty, if the success of their union might inspire others, perhaps you, to feel the dizzy excitement of creating a kid.

Is the idea of creating a powerful lineage, a dynasty suddenly back in vogue?

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Jordy Smith spins his CI on its axis after losing in round two.

Faux/Real: Board Punching!

By Derek Rielly

7 years ago

Do you punch your board? Or is it a kink only for pro surfers?

Two days ago, the perennial almost-WCT surfer Mitch Coleborn posted an Instagram clip where he brought a muscular arm back and slammed his surfboard.

The blow, if there was audio attached, would’ve made a hollow crunching sound and, perhaps, a spatter of fibreglass shards would’ve dotted Mitch’s shirt front.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYgyYHgD8PF/?hl=en&taken-by=mitch_coleborn

Board punching.

Are you a board puncher?

Kolohe Andino is. One of many clips below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyclZaK1Tzc

I don’t think I’ve ever punched my surfboard. They are too expensive and, mostly, too precious an object to purposefully destroy. I would imagine taking the surfboard to the ding repair man who would look mournfully at the damage and tell me it would cost one hundred dollars to fix.

Pro surfers, of course, are very different. Their pay cheque depends upon results and, therefore, a surfboard that fails to perform at the exacting standard required might become a “motherfucker” or a “bastard” or “cunt.”

The question today is: are you a board puncher? Do you know any board punchers?

Or is its a pro surfer thing only?

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Watch: The burden of youth!

By Chas Smith

7 years ago

Maui phenom Eli Hanneman inspires!

Let’s not waste time with words this morning. There is a video making the rounds, from the production arm of the World Surf League, and it is magnificent and eye-popping. It features fourteen-year-old Maui phenomenon Eli Hanneman who rides Matt Biolos shaped surfboards.

The fact that he is so young and surfs so well is both wonderful but also burdensome. If you are 14, going to become 15 then eventually mid-20s, how do you top your younger self? Did John John surf this good when he was 14?

But we here are anti-depressive so let us not project anything. Let us revel in the moment.

Amazing, no? Better than you or I will ever be. Should we give up on the surf game and become scholars instead? Maybe we can study the Hindu gods. Maybe we can begin with that monkey one Hanuman since it is near Hanneman? Let’s start!

While still a baby, Hanuman, the child of a nymph by the wind god, tried to fly up and grab the Sun, which he mistook for a fruit. Indra, the king of the gods, struck Hanuman with a thunderbolt on the jaw (hanu), thus inspiring the name. When Hanuman continued to misbehave, powerful sages cursed him to forget his magic powers, such as the ability to fly or to become infinitely large, until he was reminded of them. Hanuman led the monkeys to help Rama, an avatar (incarnation) of the god Vishnu, recover Rama’s wife, Sita, from the demon Ravana, king of Lanka (likely not the present-day Sri Lanka).

Having been reminded of his powers by Jambavan, the king of the bears, Hanuman crossed the strait between India and Lanka in one leap, despite the efforts of watery demonesses to stop him by swallowing him or his shadow. He was discovered in Lanka, and his tail was set on fire, but he used that fire to burn down Lanka. Hanuman also flew to the Himalayas and returned with a mountain full of medicinal herbs to restore the wounded in Rama’s army.

Hanuman is worshipped as a subsidiary figure in temples dedicated to Rama or directly in shrines dedicated to Hanuman himself. The latter are generally thronged by monkeys, who know that they cannot be mistreated there. In temples throughout India, he appears in the form of a monkey with a red face who stands erect like a human. For his service to Rama, Hanuman is upheld as a model for all human devotion (bhakti).

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