First dirt to be shucked next year!
Earlier today, while I was wrapped up in cuckold dreams and Chas was negotiating terms for his book Surfing and Cocaine: A Love Story with a Los Angeles publisher, Kelly Slater announced the imminent construction of a wave pool in Palm Beach County, Florida.
The WSL is gonna build the 600-metre long tank on 79 acres at an inland industrial park off the Beeline Highway in north-western Palm Beach County. It’ll have a 3000-square metre surf club, a 1500-square metre training centre and room for 160 cars.
According to the WSL’s zoning application, “The project, named Surf Ranch Florida, will be proposing to construct a world-class, man-made surfing lake which will provide consistent waves and a safe environment for public recreational and competition purposes.
And,
“It is anticipated that one to two events may be held on a yearly basis attracting up to 60,000 people. The events would be planned to be held in the summer, providing for an opportunity to aid in tourism and fill hotel rooms in a typically slower time of the year.”
The WSL says the project will create 307 jobs and $45 million in economic impact during construction and 236 jobs after the build.
Slater, obvs, is thrilled.
“Now I can move back home now and surf as much as I want!”
The tank’s gonna have a gorgeous neighbour too.
The WSL’s multi-billionaire owner, Mr Dirk Ziff, lives a short drive away on Sea Acres Way in North Palm Beach.
Last year, the nearby Ziff family compound (“The epitome of opulence”) and the sixth-most expensive house in all of America (thirty bedrooms, fifty shitters), was listed last year at $195 million. It was reduced by thirty mill this year for a quick sale.
An easy thirty mill hit.
And people are curious how long Ziff is gonna keep bankrolling surfing?
And take a little drone tour here.
9490 Bent Grass Court, Delray Beach, FL 33446 from Luxury Real Estate South Florida on Vimeo.
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Can we do it somewhere where they allow black chicks? Idaho might be too sketchy
mr slater touched me in inappropriate ways. i am filing suit. he will be hearing from my lawyers while i sit by the pool and wait.
Why wasnt it built in Brevard County where Kelly is from?
Airbnbing it for package deals with the ks wavepool. There will be unlimited beers, mixed drinks, weed and scantily clad women. After a day in the wave pool retire to your luxury suite to partake in any sin your heart desires. All inclusive, waves included for ten grand a week. Will let you know when I close escrow.
Just bought it.
Who’s putting my money on whether Volland will be seen at said pool being chummy with said Capra.
165 million and you can still see your neighbors?
Poor Adam Fincham! He’s the guy who made Kelly’s pool work. A PhD in engineering with a kinky bent for mechanical waves and the surf world barely knows his name. It’s a crying shame. So I think in all future articles and posts, we should all call it Fincham’s Pool. I’m serious Derek and Chas. What better way to out passive aggressive the GOAT and restore respect for engineers world wide.
Feckin’ oath I’ve been thinking same way every time there’s a pool story
But regrettably marketing ain’t gonna run with Fincham’s Pool
What about the AF Wave Pool?
I’ve approached Mr Fincham for an interview, too.
Get movin’ Derek, flip those contacts
Your damn comment reminded me to punch an email, light up a phone. Heading to LA next Wednesday!
Get your Bitchy Crab Ass movin’
Lest your ol pal DR be included in this rewriting of history https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You are a man of rare honour Mr Reilly. Let’s forevermore banish Kelly’s name from the short, dark history of Kook Ponds and elevate Mr Fincham to his rightful place among the Gods.
Fruity indeed, lordy so fruity
Looking forward to Reilly’s chat with the mercurial Fincham!
But don’t you think it was Kelly’s sun that ripened Fincham’s fruit and therefore both names must rightfully be illuminated?
Fincham is the steak and Slater is the sizzle…
Im amazed at some peoples taste..
If one is to make an inference, Kelly’s wave must be the best wave in the world! The man who could afford to live on any wave drenched coastline in the world is moving back to Florida. Unless it was absolute fucking bullshit of course. Which it no doubt is. Makes great press release copy but. Spurt spurt spurt.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Kelly’s, “I can finally move home” statement to be “absolute fucking bullshit” to use your words.
Would have sounded wonderful to the local government schleps who no doubt rezoned a cheeky parcel of land for Fincham’s Pool.
Jesus fcuking Christ this is gonna send Chas around the bend.
Wasn’t Kelly overdue being passive aggressive?
Portugal finished days ago
Just when Nick Carroll mentioned that the WSL had not been making any ridiculous calls on viewers/hits/numbers – they instantly find that 236 jobs and 45 million economic boost DURING construction!! Surely after construction the economic boost will be in the billions no??
Cynicism causes heart disease, chill
Now, where’s that Hawaiian disqus guy that does free resumes?
Me cynical no – but surely Oz could take a lesson in economic growth and prosperity. If we just keep building these will be zero unemployment and we will all be rich
Dude, think of all the additional eco-jobs that’ll be created to build the wind farms or nuclear reactors in order to generate the power for this miracle
Between his Firewire Eco-Boards and edible deckpads, at this rate he’ll fix climate change by himself
You’re preaching to the converted – I want to send all the dole bludgers in oz to build these pools and windfarms into the desert areas hence moving the whole population inland to surf – genius no??
Almost
What you want is Inertia communities built around KS pools, in the Mojave Desert (NOT Australia)
Sort of like fun concentration camps, with Eddie Vedder playing in the background
The Mojave is kinda cool though. Can we find somewhere else?
True, there is no shortage of fucked up deserts
Leemore is practically a desert, thanks to capitalism and meth. Mass super stok-ed concentration camp?
My idea gets 95% of our pop away from coast – so solves couple probs. Plus this will be gold mine of cash. “if you build it they will come”!!
Latest CSIRO research suggests sea level rise of 1.5 metres by 2100. Most known surf spots will be buried by that much of an increase. These pools will be sitting on the foreshore by then!
yep that’s it prime real estate plus we are moving everyone inland and we will any “new” break to ourselves its win win
..
That only matters if you have children or grandchildren you care about
that’s Greg Webers plan !
50 shitters? What, are they next door to a Taco Bell?
Doesn’t the idea thrill you, as it does me? Guests can stay without fear of a noisy toileting, the damn gardener can enjoy a little solitude if he pleases.
I’d do gardening for a degrading wage just to shit in them latrines…
Thrill? Nah, I’m amazed. It’s at least twice as many toilets as are ever available at most rock festivals.
Was at a festival in Ireland many moons ago and a bunch crazy fuckers played Slip and Slide down a hill that was essentially a river of piss and shit. Pink provided a surreal soundtrack to the whole damn shitshow.
Who the fuck pays that kind of scratch in Florida? I don’t even mind Florida but holy shit. I thought the part of moving to Florida that’s attractive is it’s cheap. You can buy all of San Clemente (not that you would want to) for that kind of money.
If you bought all of San Clemente, how would you administer your estate?
It would have to involve someone named each Year’s “Clemente” who like a V’y that below Eve’s U’y chased RVCA away each day.
Thanks for including courtesy link to purchase the Ziff crib, I have to move at the end of the month, So I’m gonna get right on that.
Google analytics suggests the average BeachGrit reader harpoons an above-average salary. Perhaps with a determined savings regime etc.
It’s the 26th today – I can be determined for four days. Plus I saved 30mil!
Wait another year and maybe another thirty mill shaving falls to the ground…
I must be killing the average.