Exclusive: Dolphins like water orgies!

Life is a wonderful adventure!

It may seem like I’m beating a dead horse here but you have to believe me when I say that I’m totally not. I just think it is important that we consider some important facts that might become obscured in the Stab + The Inertia lovers tiff.

Mostly that dolphins and surfers have a lot in common.

Stab writer Brendan Buckley brought up some wonderful points though, mainly that dolphin and surfer brains are the same. Let us read a passage:

On a neurological level, the reason we become addicted to surfing is due to the chemicals your brain produces during and after. Boring, I know. There are scientific explanations like that for everything in life. Isn’t it better to think about love as love rather than breaking it down into a million molecules, for example?

Well, yes.

But the reason I bring this up is because new research proves that our surfing soul mammals, dolphins, may ride waves for the same reasons.

A new study conducted by the Marine Biology department at the University of California, Santa Cruz exhibited a spike in the part of a dolphin’s frontal lobe that processes emotion when they ride waves. While charts have shown similar spikes when they are chasing prey, this spike was shown when the dolphins’ behavior wasn’t suggestive of hunting, rather when they were simply riding waves.

I don’t think this “new study” was actually commissioned but we don’t need it because we surfers see dolphins riding waves all the time and know they are shredding for shredding’s sake.

Like us. Like surfers.

But would you like to know what else they do like us, like surfers? Have water orgies!

Famed surf photographer James “Jimmicane” Wilson was recently cruising his drone outside Lowers when he stumbled upon, you guessed it, dolphins having a water orgy! Lowers has been the site for many famous surfer water orgies. Who could forget… all of them?

Not me.

We live in enlightened times don’t we though?

And raise a glass to dolphins and to surfers. To The Inertia and to Stab.

Slàinte! And may you all stay forever young.