Eli Anderson (pictured) shredding whilst malingering dolphin (insert) awaits opportunity.
Eli Anderson (pictured) shredding whilst malingering dolphin (insert) awaits opportunity.

Australian surfer breaks pelvis after gang of dolphins brutally assails him in lineup

"It's their domain, not mine. The dolphins won - and I'm ok with that."

Australian surfers are well aware of shark dangers all along their fatal shore. Man-eating beasts stopping at nothing to taste human flesh, government officials even sometimes accused of aiding and abetting the pillage. But a new, heretofore not imagined, horror has presented in the form of the friendly dolphin.

But let us not tarry. Let us hustle to Emerald Beach, midway up the New South Welsh coast where the tradesman Eli Anderson, 20, was enjoying a surf at the very end of December. Weather hot, sun shining, disaster lurking. A pod of 2o, or so, dolphins was out fishing and went food berserk, catching the almost young man up in their frenzy.

“They came from nowhere and one of their fins sliced my board,” he declared to the universally appreciated Daily Mail Australia. “I was knocked off and then knocked out so I don’t remember much until I was washed up on to the beach. As I came around, I started to count my limbs and checked for blood. I was in a lot of pain but also so confused, because I thought it must have been a shark attack.”

While his limbs were intact, his pelvis was not.

Busted at the seam.

His father, mercifully, was on the beach after catching a wave in and shared that he had seen sharks in the area before but “never thought dolphins would be a problem.”

The pelvis break, anyhow, will take two weeks to heal and the young-ish Anderson is expecting to get back in the water directly.

“It’s taken me a long time to process it really, but nothing could stop me surfing,” he said. “It’s their domain, not mine. The dolphins won – and I’m ok with that.”

A few questions I have about this wild tale. Two, actually.

1. I have seen folk getting knocked out and washed up on shore in movies but have never read about it happening in real life. Is possible without drowning?

2. A crumbled pelvis only takes two weeks to heal?

More as the story develops.

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Mark "Zuck" Zuckerberg rides giant waves in Hawaii
Zuck gives foil-hell to Hawaiian outer reef and, inset, announces his pivot right on Joe Rogan.

Insane scenes as tech chameleon Mark Zuckerberg foil-surfs 20-foot Hawaiian waves!

"Send it!" says Zuck!

The tech billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, once the plaything of the left-leaning Biden admin and an avatar of the soft bellied liberal man, has pivoted hard right after being inducted into manhood via surfing, jiujitsu and kick boxing.

“A lot of the corporate world is pretty culturally neutered,” says Zuck, of his transformation. “I have three sisters, no brothers, and three daughters, and no sons. I’ve been surrounded by women my whole life. The masculine energy is good. Society has plenty of that, but corporate culture is really trying to get away from it. I think having a culture that celebrates aggression a bit more has its own merits that are positive and having a thing (MMA) that I can do with my guy friends is good.

“The intent on all these things is good. If you’re a woman going into a company, it may feel like it’s too masculine and that there’s systems that are set up against you — but I think these things can always go a little far. It’s one thing to say we want to create a welcoming environment for everyone, and its another thing to say that masculinity is bad and its toxic and we need to get rid of it.

“Both of these things are good. You want masculine and feminine energy. But I do think the corporate culture has swung towards being a neutered thing.

“I didn’t feel this until I got involved in martial arts. It just turned on a part of my brain that made me say okay, this was a piece of the puzzle that should have been there, and I’m glad it now is.”

His masculine energy was on full display with a foil-surf sesh near his Kauai home recently. Although Zuck, who is forty, is careful to remove himself from the waves well before they break he still managed to gather enough clips to thrill a who’s who of surfing.

“We on for Jaws next week?” – Kai Lenny

“Bomb.” – Italo Ferreira.

“Hell yeah. Charging, bro.” – Zeke Lau

“Looks like a blast.” – Jamie O’Brien

The times are a-changing, as they say.

For better or worse? Dick or pussy?

I’m of the former camp although won’t be surprised if it turns out to be the latter.

 

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Derek Rielly (left) with Bob Hawke.
Derek Rielly (left) with Bob Hawke. | Photo: Richard Freeman

Surf media legend Derek Rielly appears on world’s most popular surf podcast!

Core Lord.

Derek Rielly is a multi-hyphenate artist. Author, editor, creator, award-winning across all. The only issue with his constellation of talent is that he does not particularly enjoy, or lean into, self-promotion. Difficult, then, to find a spot to hear, or read, the literary giant reflecting upon his own life.

Jed Smith, one half of the world’s most popular surf podcast Ain’t That Swell, must have sensed the gaping Derek Rielly-sized hole in the space and took it upon himself to fill it with an episode of “Core Lords.”

It is a brilliant 2-plus hours. The two discuss surf media history, meandering down memory lanes of Australian Surfing Life, Surf Europe, Waves and Stab. There is forays into the writing craft, Malcolm X, the current state of politics and the years when Jamie O’Brien was a rock star.

Smith is a deft interviewer, guiding the delightful conversation which, to borrow from Rielly himself, is truly essential.

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Florence (pictured) done after three?

Fears mount John John Florence will sit out season after longtime coach Ross Williams announces retirement

"We live in an awesome world and an even better community. That is our surf world."

The 2025 World Surf League Championship Tour is but days away from the opening hooter and while surf fans should be celebrating the return of professional competitive surfing, a bleak pall has taken hold. First, the generational talent Gabriel Medina announced that he would be forced to sit out much, if not all, of the year after suffering an injury to his pectoral muscle.

And as if the loss of the Dark Knight was not enough, a worse fear is materializing.

John John Florence calling it all off.

Worry took hold at the end of the 2024 season, one in which the former prodigy took home his third trophy but was cagey afterward, hinting it might be his last. Those anxieties have only, since, entrenched with various rumors suggesting the preternatural talent was hanging it up culminating, moments ago, with the announcement of Florence’s longtime coach Ross Williams’s retirement.

The Momentum Generation stud took to Instagram in order to declare:

Just wanted to give a shout out to my tour partners last year. Thank you so much for all the memories. @john_john_florence @tatiwest and @bettylou.sakura.johnson , I really appreciate you guys putting trust in me and allowing me to be part of your journey. We’ve had some amazing results Along the way. These last 10 years was an exceptional learning life experience. John, winning his third world title last year was definitely a highlight. But also Tati fighting her way through to finishing third in the world in the finals was epic. Betty Lou you’re at the very beginning of your journey and I’m so happy that I was there along the way through your formable years. You have a big future. And for anyone curious out there, I’m gonna continue my coaching in 2025 and beyond. But 2024 was always gonna be a very big year for me that included traveling to every single event. But it’s not sustainable for me as far as balancing my career with my family life. It’s too much time away from my precious family. So I will continue coaching, but will focus more of my work here out of Hawaii. Surfing is my love. It’s my everything. It’s what makes me wake up in the morning. It’s what intrigues me. I will always revolve my life around surfing and coaching is a big part of that. I have a lot invested into Luke and finn and Tama as well and will continue working with them on their journeys! I’m sure I’ll pick up more surfers along the way. What really intrigues me is the technical aspect of surfing so I will be open to taking on surfers at the highest levels as well as recreational surfers to help them fulfill their goals and being the best surfers they can be. My good friend @gregsworld did an interview with me a couple years back. You can see the geekiness and how psyched I am on surfing and coaching. We live in an awesome world and an even better community. That is our surf world. I feel so Appreciative to be part of it. Also, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without my lovely wife, Jennifer Williams. She’s my rock, my everything. And I’m excited to be at home with her in 2025!

Florence, it must be assumed, done too.

I’d bet that the former towhead surfs Pipeline then waves goodbye before being party to fellow tour surfer Tyler Wright’s possible execution in Abu Dhabi the following month.

Will the loss of Medina and Florence, in their prime, be enough to dampen your excitement or is the specter of Filipe Toledo chickening out, again, enough to keep you engaged?

David Lee Scales and I discuss during this week’s episode of The Grit! which also just so happens to be chock full of manly talk. Worth a listen unless you are Justin Baldoni.

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Jeff Schmucker, eight, guts a shark in South Australia and, inset, big Great White.
South Australian surfer and fisherman Jeff Schmucker gutting sharks on his daddy's boat, aged eight, and inset, big Great White on his stern.

Surfers told to avoid South Australia’s west coast until “strong shark mitigation in place.”

"From Fowler’s Bay to Port Lincoln it’s the worst place in the world to go surfing. And it’s getting worse.” 

For the past fifteen years the Streaky Bay fisherman and surfer Jeff Schmucker has been trying to get a pretty simple message across – the population of Great Whites on South Australia’s west coast has blown out and there’ll come a point in the real near future when surfing will become unsustainable for anyone who isn’t thrilled with the idea of being disappeared by a Great White. 

Well, that time is now.

After Streaky Bay local Lance Appleby was killed by a Great White shark, the fourth fatal attack on a surfer by a White in South Australia in less than two years, Schmucker told the Australian Associated Press the population of Great White sharks had “exploded” to such an extent surfing there was now a risk no one should take unless you had a jetski patrolling alongside.

What happened?

In 1999, Australia declared the Great White “vulnerable”and made it illegal to hunt or harass the fish

Since then,

RIP surfers Peter Edmonds, Tadashi Nakahara, Rob Pedretti, Mani Hart-Deville, Mark Sanguinetti, Tim Thompson, Nick Slater, Cameron Bayes, Jean Wright, Nick Peterson, Simon Baccanello, Todd Gendle, Khai Cowley, Lance Appleby, Brad Smith, Nick Edwards, Kyle Burden, Ben Linden, Chris Boy, Ben Gerring, Laeticia Brouwer and Andrew Sharpe.

On the day Lance Appleby was killed, Schmucker had posted a warning to surfers on Instagram that the area around Streaky Bay was crawling with aggressive Great Whites.

I got a call from Schmucker yesterday ‘cause he wanted to get it out there that surfing on the South Australian west coast was now “unsustainable. It’s fucking over,” he told me. 

I’d written a similar piece shortly after the attack but Schmucker would be real grateful if I could get it out there that, if you want to surf on South Australia’s west coast, your odds of being killed are going to be dramatically shortened. 

Schmucker knows these waters.

He first started fishing out of Streaky Bay with his Daddy back in the early seventies when he was eight. He knew how to gut a shark by the time he was nine and before he was in double figures he was sitting on the stern of the family trawler pulling in bronze whalers.

Jeff Schmucker, eight years old, guts a shark.
Jeff Schmucker, eight years old, guts a shark.

He adores his coastline, calls it one of the most unique in the world with its six estuaries, dodge tides, shallow water sea grasses, its wild offshore fishing. He says pole-fishing for tuna in the raw as hell Great Australian Bight is “one of the most electrifying methods for excitement and action.” 

Jeff Schmucker surfing in South Australia
Jeff Schmucker giving a big South Oz right-hander hell.

Schmucker says the latest attack has left Streaky Bay even more traumatised than usual. 

“The kids are reeling, there’s all sorts of emotional stuff going on. Everyone’s fucking upset and not sleeping. And fair enough. I didn’t sleep for the first few days. I was waking up in the night with the logistics of it, the reality of it. It’s fucking brutal. The kids who were there are thinking of it. They can see the blood splashing in the water. It’s firmly in their minds.” 

He says every time there’s a new shark attack he gets a text from Jevan Wright’s mum, Katrina. Jevan was seventeen when he was killed by a Great White at Blacks, there on the Eyre Peninsula. 

“I lay awake at night wondering whether his bones are still inside the  shark and where is the shark,” Katrina told the Port Lincoln Times in 2001. “If only we could get that shark and get the body. It sounds gross, but it’s no more  gross than getting than getting a body out of a wrecked car.” 

The day before Jevan was killed, New Zealander Cameron Bayes was dragged off his board and killed by a Great White at Cactus, a couple of hundred k’s away along the same coast.

“And she tells me, ‘Jeff you got do something about it.’ It’s fucked. It’s still raw.” 

Schmucker says, “I don’t want people to be hurt. It’s not the people who are eaten, they’re gone, it’s the impact on the communities in the surfing world. It really hits people hard.” 

Still, surfers continue to roll the dice. A few days ago, surfers were chased out of the water by a Great White at Caves, a surf spot a couple of hundred k’s west of Streaky Bay. 

“These people think they can surf Cactus with twenty people and be safe. They’re fucking dreaming. From Fowler’s Bay to Port Lincoln it’s the worst place in the world to go surfing. And it’s getting worse.” 

Schmucker says he doesn’t want to be the boy that cried wolf, but at the same time he’s a realist. He hears what the government, what surf lifesaving has to say, that it’s all anecdotal, no hard evidence, but he has almost fifty years in the water down there, in the surf and on boats. 

If you didn’t know, all longline and gill net commercial fishermen have had a HD camera on their boats for the last fifteen years.

“And it’s all kept on a hard drive. Fifteen years of data,” says Schmucker. “Every time there’s an interaction with a threatened species you have to put it in the log book. All that data is there and that data will be conclusive in the growth of the (Great White) population, all these Whites from three footers to twenty footers entailed in the fishing gear.” 

He says the roll call of surfers dying is hard to take. 

“I feel a little responsible for surfing in South Australia. If I don’t say what I think, there’s going to be so much tragedy in people’s lives. In the late nineties, we were down to seeing one or two Pointers a year.” 

So, what can you do about it? 

“Two things. Section 79 of the Fisheries Act allows for the destruction of a shark that has killed someone. If it was the same shark, and it’s a possibility, that ate Todd last year and got Lance this year, and they’ve got both boards so they get the DNA, the shark needs to be killed on the same day. You need to kill a rogue shark. Second, look into monitoring all sharks over ten foot. The little ones are eating fish. Tagging is easy. Maneaters come to you. But you gotta burley up. Give us a sea lion, shoot one of em between the eyes or electrocute it, and you’ll have more Pointers than you can point a stick at.” 

“Listen,” says, Schmucker,

“This about saving lives, saving people from lifetime traumatic experiences. You don’t go to a game park and get out of the car and walk around. People put the blinkers on with surfing. I was addicted to surfing like no other cunt on the planet, surfing from when the surf came up to when it went down. But if you’re surfing here on the Eyre Peninsula, be a fucking realist. You shouldn’t be going in the water until there’s some strong mitigation in place.” 

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