Being grouchy really brands a man as old and
irrelevant, know what I’m saying? Or brands a man Gen-X which is
pretty much the same thing. The kids aren’t grouchy. They are
filled with hope and passion even though their entire world is
ending in a hail of North Korean missiles and rising sea levels.
Just kidding. Kim Jong Un will never really succeed and global
warming is a lie. Know what I’m saying?
But how did we get so far away from Stoke and Leisure? Your
World Surf league Ambassador of Stoke and Leisure finalists are in
and YOU get to decide! Should we meet them?
YES WE SHOULD!
1) Jason who says, “I’m the biggest gas station around. I use
practices such as yoga, meditation, earthing, surfing and skating
to fill my energy tank – not other people.”
2) Linda who says, “I’m stoked about surfing, coconuts, shells,
people, stray dogs, mangos, sand between my toes, sunlight, sand in
my wetsuit, bonfires, sand in my bed, moonshine, acoustic guitars,
flashmobs, sand in my bikini…”
3) Mariana who says, “I’ve been working and traveling for a long
time and I absolutely LOVED it.”
4) Sara who says, “eat as much coconut as i can and .. why not?
share one with John John Florence!”
5) Scott who says, “I have those cahoonas and I’m ready for this
challenge if given the opportunity.”
6) Adam who says, “Everything I have done, seen, and
accomplished this far in my life has led me to this point.”
7) Zach who says, “Whether I get the position or not, I’m way
too obsessed with filmmaking, photography, travel, surf, and the
world of adventure to ever give up the dream.”
8) Pat who says, ” I’ve been told my spirit animal is a
yellow labrador.”
Soooooooooooooooo? Who you feeling? Don’t be lazy. Vote today!
And it may totally read like I’m being ironic but I am not.
Irony is cheap. Grouchy is out. Let’s embrace hope!
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Watch: Kelly struggle with gender
fluidity!
By Chas Smith
The world's greatest surfer delivers an object
lesson!
Gender fluidity is the buzziest thing since
wearing jeans backwards. It is all over the place and I’m not just
talking about the TQ in LGBTQ. I’m talking everything from Gigi
Hadid and Zayn Malik sharing a wardrobe all the way to the
non-binary scene. Those who don’t identify as male and don’t
identify as female.
Much buzzy.
And we all have learned the proper way to respond to the
genderqueer/agender/gender non-forthcoming. If a person tells you,
for example, they are not a mr or a ms but an mx then you know to
nod and say, “Nice to meet you, ze or zir…” while not smiling but
also not not smiling.
Easy.
But back in the dark old days of 2010 it was not easy. We were
ignorant like cattle and thought humans were either male or female.
Like cattle.
And let us watch a video of the world’s greatest surfer
encounter Zazon in France in 2010. She claims to simply have been
born a boy but transitioned to a girl so she could win the heart of
Kelly Slater. Tres romantic and not at all even very fluid. And how
does Kelly respond? Let’s watch!
Oh no. Oh no no no. No no no no no no no. This is like listening
to my grandma talk about race relations back in the 1980s. No. No
no no oh no. The real problem is that he dares correct zim’s
assertion that “I am a huge fan of yours since I’m a little boy…”
by saying, “Little girl.”
Ouch!
Such a cisgenderist! Such a dualist! Such a bianist!
I totally assume Kelly Slater knows the correct
verbiage/understanding now and of course we don’t hold this against
him but we also kind of do if ze’re going to be honest.
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Watch: Filipe Toledo’s New Profile
Film!
By Derek Rielly
Ravishingly insolent surf star scrupulously
examined!
Filipe Toledo is a ravishingly insolent surfer who does
not pull punches or take prisoners. His double-oop at
J-Bay stood as a corrective to the safety surfing of Jordy
Smith; the recent win at Trestles, uncomplicated by
any hiccup or discontent, enforced the cult of Filipe.
Released a few hours ago is the eight-minute short film
Flowness which profiles the recent history of Filipe,
his move to San Clemente and so forth.
The effect of Family on Filipe is scrupulously itemised: the
group prayers, Ricardo helping sticker up the boards, mama T
helping with his baby Mahina (the little girl he created with model
Ananda Marcal whom another pro surfer described to me as the most
beautiful woman he’d ever seen up close), Filipe skateboarding down
his street in San Clemente with Mahina in his arms, the clapping,
the dancing, the soccer.
This short film is a moving examination of a boy in the modern
world, the trials of sport and the importance of love.
Filipe’s surfing, of course, is of a standard few are able to
envisage let alone formulate.
It’s upbeat!
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Fanning: “I’ll help coach Aussie
team!”
By Chas Smith
Mick Fanning signals his 2020 Olympic
direction!
It has been a year or such since the
announcement that surfing will be included in the 2020 Tokyo
Olympics and we’ve all had time to digest. While I have gone on
record to point out that surfing in the Olympics will be “stupid,” I am
quietly intrigued by various storylines.
Like… the nationalist fires that will begin to burn. Maybe? I
mean, I can’t imagine caring if an American wins and I can’t
imagine you caring if an Australian wins but for sure all of Brazil
will care if a Brazilian wins. They will care to the point of
becoming super annoying thus pushing Americans and Australians into
naturally xenophobic positions which could easily be mistaken as
broadly racist positions. Will surfing then become the favorite
sport of the alt-right? Will BeachGrit do a deal with
Breitbart? I told you. Intriguing.
Also… coaching. Bede “The White Fijian” Durbidge has already
been tapped to lead Australia’s contingent but today Mick Fanning
raised his hand and asked for an assistantship. Let’s read olympics.com!
Back to the sport he has served with such distinction for
the past 14 years. Fanning was over the moon when he heard that
surfing will be on the programme in Tokyo in 2020.
“I’m a big sports fan and I always enjoy watching the
Olympics so I can’t wait to see what kind of performances and
pressure we see with medals up for grabs,” said the man who was
champion surfer in 2007, 2009 and 2013.
At 36 and currently sitting outside the top 10 of the WSL
Tour ranking, Fanning is not certain of exactly how he wants to be
involved, he just knows he has to be there.
“I guess I wouldn’t completely rule it out (competing in
2020) but there’s so much talent coming through the ranks at the
moment and my guess is that by 2020 there will be better prospects
for medals for Australia,” he said. “If that’s the case I’d love to
assist an Aussie team in a coaching role.”
Now that is a super coaching duo. Bede n Mick. I totally bet
Joel comes on too and they all aggressively drink Balter in between
heats.
But who do you think will coach the U.S. team? I’m putting my
money on Brett Simpson. I think he would do well. And I think he
will tap Taylor “Cap’n America” Knox for his number two.
And Brazil? I’m going with the surprise announcement of
player/coach Neco Padaratz with the surprise selection of Sunny
Garcia as his second.
Who will coach Team France?
What about Team Portugal?
What about Team Hawaii?
Very intriguing.
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Biolos: “Wavepools Like Surfing
J-Bay!”
By Derek Rielly
Progression is going to come "shockingly fast" says
shaper to the stars.
To all you gloom buffs who don’t like pools.
They’re coming and ain’t a damn thing y’gonna do about it.
And when they do come, you’ll want a board that fits whatever
pool you’re swishing around in.
And Matt Biolos aka Mayhem, the San Clemente-based shaper to the
stars and owner of Lost Surfboards, has ridden the original
Wavegarden in the Basque country (hint to visitors to that swathe
of land that south of Biarritz and around looping around Bilbao:
don’t call it Spain), their new version called Cove, twice, with
all its different wave settings and the Wavegarden in Texas. And
he’s had feedback from his teamriders Kolohe Andino and Carissa
Moore on the Slater pool.
He knows what works.
In between watching his gal Carissa own the Roxy event in
France, Biolos whispered a few secrets about boards in pools.
BeachGrit: You’ve surfed Wavegarden #1 and #2, the
fabulous Cove. So tell me, what did riding those joints tell you
about board design?
Biolos: My personal opinion is that wavepools are like natural
waves. Each one is its own animal and each one benefits from
different tweaks in boards. No different to the idea that Snapper
and Bells or Pipe and Sunset lend themselves to different boards.
The Cove is short and punchy with quick transitions. It likes a
little bit of rocker and epoxy seems really good there. You don’t
need a lot of momentum. It’s more about quickness. The original,
Wavegarden, N-Land, are more momentum and inertia-based waves –
long rollers where flat rockers tend to keep you going better and
stay in the wave better when coming off the top. We took Jett
Schilling, Eli Hanneman and Eric Geiselman to N-Land. Jett had
a lowish-rockered Driver that
just looked like on an invisible underwater track. Eli had a rockered-out
Whiplash and that looked twitchy and over sensitive. A
little PU weight helps as well. Like when surfing mushy offshore
waves. That said, I think
a low-rocker epoxy ( like a RNF in carbon wrap)
works great at N-Land. My GM, Ben Kelly, was ripping on one there.
So, really, you’re not designing boards for pools so much as boards
for specific pools. Just like natural waves.
BeachGrit: For your top-shelf rider, how’s the board
going to differ if he’s in a contest in Lemoore compared to, say,
Snapper?
Biolos: Well, Carissa won The Test. She said she was perfectly
stoked on her normal board. But looking at the footage, I think her
board could have had a bit more drive and resistance under the rear
foot during her full-rail turns. A little more momentum and
stiffness. But I think I know exactly what to do after watching the
clips. Next time she will have a couple of specific boards. I
did not get to have a guy in the comp but Kolohe went a
week or so before – a consolation prize? – and felt his super
grovel boards worked best. Flat rockers for momentum but short to
fit into the on again/off again tight and kinky transitions. I saw
a wave of him on the left that was more impressive than any
complete waves I saw from the comp footage.
BeachGrit: Do you see tanks as great testing machines?
For fins, designs, or are they, necessarily, specific, and whatever
you learn about design in a pool doesn’t necessarily translate to
the ocean?
Biolos: I know the relentless repetition will advance design
quickly but how those quick advancements directed at specific waves
translates to varied ocean waves remains to be seen. That said, one
afternoon at Cove last week allowed Kolohe, Carissa, Griffin and
grom Winter Vincent, and me, to quickly ride close to 50 waves
each. Once your over the novelty and laughing and playing, you
could easily get a lot of work done testing boards and fins.
Progress will happen shockingly fast. Like all these soccer parents
teaching eight year olds to do technical airs in giant halfpipes on
snowboards and skateboards. The static playing field will drive
radically fast progression. This is an undeniable fact. How that
relates to eight-foot Sunset Beach, Teahupoo or or Pipeline is
another story.
BeachGrit: And, tell me, as an every man, or better than
every man, describe your wavepool experiences. Fabulous beyond
belief?
Biolos: Harder than you think. I would say the same thing
when describing Surfing at J-Bay. “Easy to surf / Hard to surf
well.”
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros