Fanning: “I’ll help coach Aussie team!”

Mick Fanning signals his 2020 Olympic direction!

It has been a year or such since the announcement that surfing will be included in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics and we’ve all had time to digest. While I have gone on record to point out that surfing in the Olympics will be “stupid,” I am quietly intrigued by various storylines.

Like… the nationalist fires that will begin to burn. Maybe? I mean, I can’t imagine caring if an American wins and I can’t imagine you caring if an Australian wins but for sure all of Brazil will care if a Brazilian wins. They will care to the point of becoming super annoying thus pushing Americans and Australians into naturally xenophobic positions which could easily be mistaken as broadly racist positions. Will surfing then become the favorite sport of the alt-right? Will BeachGrit do a deal with Breitbart? I told you. Intriguing.

Also… coaching. Bede “The White Fijian” Durbidge has already been tapped to lead Australia’s contingent but today Mick Fanning raised his hand and asked for an assistantship. Let’s read olympics.com!

Back to the sport he has served with such distinction for the past 14 years. Fanning was over the moon when he heard that surfing will be on the programme in Tokyo in 2020.

“I’m a big sports fan and I always enjoy watching the Olympics so I can’t wait to see what kind of performances and pressure we see with medals up for grabs,” said the man who was champion surfer in 2007, 2009 and 2013.

At 36 and currently sitting outside the top 10 of the WSL Tour ranking, Fanning is not certain of exactly how he wants to be involved, he just knows he has to be there.

“I guess I wouldn’t completely rule it out (competing in 2020) but there’s so much talent coming through the ranks at the moment and my guess is that by 2020 there will be better prospects for medals for Australia,” he said. “If that’s the case I’d love to assist an Aussie team in a coaching role.”

Now that is a super coaching duo. Bede n Mick. I totally bet Joel comes on too and they all aggressively drink Balter in between heats.

But who do you think will coach the U.S. team? I’m putting my money on Brett Simpson. I think he would do well. And I think he will tap Taylor “Cap’n America” Knox for his number two.

And Brazil? I’m going with the surprise announcement of player/coach Neco Padaratz with the surprise selection of Sunny Garcia as his second.

Who will coach Team France?

What about Team Portugal?

What about Team Hawaii?

Very intriguing.

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PacificNorthPest
PacificNorthPest
8 years ago

Coach Fanning: Roight mites, give me 24 highline wraps, drink 12 beers, then say something antisemitic.

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

“Alive” is such an ambiguous term.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Breathing fluid?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS !The soundtrack to Australian surfing youth since 1977

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

He was lucky to requalify after his first test getting belted by Ravi Shastri and Sachin Tendulkar at the SCG .

DavidC
DavidC
8 years ago

Oh the filth and the fury!

Grockle
Grockle
8 years ago

Team Spain, Vicente del Bosque and Aritz Aranburu.

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago
Reply to  Grockle

I like the idea of Pep Guardiola and Aznar. There’d be so much chemistry.

seppo1
seppo1
8 years ago

Anal Bede

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
8 years ago

All I can say is…
Ricardo Toledo wil open The First School of Whistles for Ex Profissional Surfers That Wanna Be Professional Surf Coaches… or TFWFEPSTWBPSC…to the Olympics and future WSL!
This is the best chance for the Australian Team and his neo coaches Bede and Mick, or American Team (although I think this is a lost case…)…
Look at one of Ricardo’s students… The First Californian Whistler Coach for Professional Surfers
You can see the happiness in Tanner Gudauskas eyes!!!

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

What did that mean in surfing terms? Sounds like a very complicated heat. A bit like this: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
8 years ago

“and they all aggressively drink Balter in between heats” very amusing Chas, you have obviously attended an Australian club contest

longtom
longtom
8 years ago

hahaha!

longtom
longtom
8 years ago

“I guess I wouldn’t completely rule it out (competing in 2020) but there’s so much talent coming through the ranks at the moment “

Huh? Where?

Looking at the QS rankings and I can’t see much in the way of mind blowing talent coming through.
At 38 years of age it’s pretty likely Fanning would still be a safe bet to make the team.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Im looking forward to surfing in the olymics even less now. Impressive.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Bobby M seems to be inadvertently correct in his comparison of pro surfing and tennis. Australia once boasted more Grand Slam winners than any other nation. Australia once boasted more world surfing champions than any other nation. Chances of this happening again in either sport are pretty much zero.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Australian tennis lost the great coach Harry Hopman to the USA . Australian surfing may soon have more expat coaches ( respect , man has to earn a dollar ) than surfers on tour. Pro sport is business and 20million people in Australia can only consume so much stuff.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

We also lost PT and Kanga to the USA. Is it time to declare war on those fuckers? The USA, not PT and Kanga. Who are probably now US citizens, so lets rain bombs on San Clemente!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Nik maybe we could just bash them over the head a bit with your pink inflatable surfcraft . More of a symbolic gesture than outright violent struggle.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

It is a weapon of love, not war. Purchased at an Italian toy shop in 2011. Surfed once in waist high waves in Puglia. Slept on several times in the Basque region. No punctures or dubious stains. A bargain at 4 Euro.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Maybe we could buy or steal a second hand inflatable surf craft from an army disposal store and surf from Anglet to Mundacca on it while protesting and hope to get punctures and wonderful dubious stains (not together of course) . Ah nights lived in Petit Bayonne and Guernica a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away .

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Australian Coach Mick, “You need to rotate your shoulders a bit more before you land.”
Jack Robinson: “Shut the fuck up Mick and wax my 5’7″.”
South African Coach Jordy, “Dont over cook your turns Bru, surf at 70%.”
Mikey February, “Is that how you won all your World Titles Bru,”?
Coach Jordy, “Ummmm.”
USA Coach Dane, “Crush each turn, surf at 110%.”
Conner Coffin, “Is that how you won all your World Titles Man”?
Coach Dane, “Uuuuum.”

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

If Jack Robinson surfs let’s hope it’s held at sunset(beach)

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Sunrise. At Chiba.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Shit

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Yep

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku
James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Great film Harry .” I hate Illinois Nazis” is up there with Charlie don’t surf

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

Micro Hall will be super coach of Ireland with his leprechaun touch no doubt bringing gold for a team we don’t know yet!
Wilko could coach a Jamaican team and go back to his party roots and epic themed wetsuits.
Bobbie Martinez – any countries tennis team

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago

Does Mick realise the Commonwealth Games are on the Gold Coast in 2018? Fuck the Olympics, He could be surfing for King and Country at his Home break…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Has Elizabeth II shuffled off this mortal coil ?surfing for the Duke and country would be nice. Modern surfing’s father Duke Kahanamoku won gold at the Olympics where he met swimmers from Australia who invited him to visit them over a century ago. He took up the offer and brought with him the gift of surfing to Australia .

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago

She died last year right? It’s been awhile since I’ve read a gossip magazine in the Doctors waiting room…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Was hoping that the death of our head of state ( assuming the queen is the head of state in NZ)might restart the move towards becoming a republic so mick could surf for the people’s republic of Australia( not just white Church of England people)

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

It’s the Venerable Bede. Show some respect man.

New Zealand: Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O’Connor and Negatron.

Antipodes
Antipodes
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

UK; Russell Winter and Liam Gallagher

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago
Reply to  Antipodes

Nice.
Austria: Felix Baumgartner and Conchita Wurst.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

US team : Ricky Bobby would have to help out no?

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Kenny Fucking Powers!

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

Don’t forget Trump’s daughter, whatserface. Doesn’t she SUP or something?

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

If they paid any attention to BG, Olympic surfing might actually be entertaining.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Sadly enough I saw Conchita win the Eurovision Song Contest live on television. Not sad that he/she won but that I was watching .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

France : Patrick Florence ( Jeremy’s dad)

Mapski
Mapski
8 years ago

Is Sean Volland available?

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
8 years ago

Brazil: Ricardo Toledo and Charlie
Portugal: Tiago Pires… I mean, duh.
South Africa: Lyndall Smith
US of America: Snips and Adam Sandler
France: Tim Boal and the Ghost of Andre the Giant

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

Gérard Depardieu is favourite to lead the French.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Jean Dujardin dressed up as Brice de Nice in the yellow jersey would be fun

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

Yes!


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