The day that safety surfing died!
Can I please apologize for yesterday’s contest coverage? I am truly sorry. I was making a breakfast of spinach, eggs, bacon and waffles for my little girl, as previously reported, half watching while also preparing for a day of sailing and dreaming about Longtom’s delicious take on a wild and wooly day of professional surfing.
Very selfish and not thinking that it was the dead middle of the Australian night. Not thinking that Longtom deserves to rest his weary eyes too.
So this morning I am here. Here for the people. For you watching professional surfing while sipping a hastily made mimosa. My daughter quietly weeping in the corner. Starving.
The waves look very difficult to surf. Bigger and windswept. Closed out. Sun glared. Our professionals are getting through their heats with 6.67 – 13.43 heat totals. Yes, many low scored heats but only two mattered.
Round 3 Heat 6: John John Florence vs. Vasco de Gamma
John John won with one of the higher totals of the day including an 8.67. He won and is marching toward his second consecutive world title.
Round 3 Heat 7: Jordy Smith vs. Josh Kerr
Jordy lost, bowing out of the world title chase, and he lost because he safety surfed. Because he reached down, deep into his heart, and dialed it back to 75%. Because he half-assed. The waves were difficult to read, etc. but Josh Kerr was trying to gift him the heat, refusing to even tactically sit on him. Refusing to even paddle near. Jordy caught a wave and he tucked into a mini barrel instead of winding up a wow air. Jordy caught another wave and he touched the lip, twice, with 3/4 power.
The judges did not reward him and he lost.
And is this the end of conservative surfing? Has the World Surf League finally heard the cries of the people? Please sirs, can we have some more? It would have been easy for the men in the high tower to gift Jordy the very very low score he needed for both micro barrel and lip kisses. Only the most grouchy of us would have complained. But a line was drawn today, I believe.
I am sorry once again, my daughter is complaining that this bread of the people does not stick to her ribs and I must bake for her more waffles. But I will be back because we have more to discuss.
To be continued…
“If he would have thrown some cash my way we would have seen what happened…”
It was horrible watching Jordy go down, I really wanted the judges to gift him the score, but it wasn’t right and hopefully he gets another shot at Pipe. Here’s to JJF slipping up!
Anyone read WSLs version of yesterdays Supertubos? Scything critisism of Jordy and Kerr. I thought it was very good, it wasn’t bending everything into gloriuos sunshine and sparkling rainbows.
http://www.worldsurfleague….
aha. Paul evans is the writer. No wonder. I’ve always liked his work.
The contest starts at like, 5pm in Australia, is longtom a 70 year old grandma?
no 69 !
His final wave was underscored. Robbed
..Jordy’s last wave? I wouldn’t say robbed. Close but I reckon they got it right.
Here’s the formula, when we can’t find a washed up surf journo to write content for us for free, we’ll do it ourselves. I’m a union type guy and despise both sexual and worker exploitation!
You are a cruel person, and unnecessary.
I dunno either. We should do the research.
Chas in 20 years?
Watching Nat surf his heat you’d also wonder whether he was out to throw his heat as well
Why are you spoiling Longtom’s upcoming analysis with your droll musings after you wrote that you wouldn’t spoil Longtom’s upcoming analysis with your droll musings? Where are you Longtom? You haven’t been given a gig at STAB like every other semi-literate fucker on earth? I ask with a pure heart.
The photo of Jordy really set of his glutes nicely – calling glute implants.
Maybe they have derailed his title shot
I though New Orleans had been ‘ethnically cleansed ‘ by Katrina, and it’s all rich white folk now.
He had stab in the dark, which is cooler than a title anyways.
Yeah..and there he showed how he is surfing 50% on the tour
Josh Kerr’s post heat interview was great. He is now in jail.
Why? It is common practice, as long as handled through official channels.
Interviews?
yeah don’t think he really gave a shit what was said – “i’m done, I’ll take bribes if offered!!”
Dumped by Rusty. Gotta find new income streams. Nice he’s upfront
personally, I enjoyed watching slater surf his first round heat. Nice having the champ back on tour.
Me too! But I’m still claiming he would have if the surf was actually good…
How was Medina though? Crushed it.
Why Jordy deserves an world title?
Only because power carves and a beautiful surf?
Or because he mastered two waves at the circus? J-bay and… and… Rio!!! Bell’s.. mehhhh.
He mastered Pipe? Tchopo? Cludbreak? Margaret? France?… Portugal?
Remember me an incredible back side riding for him at one WSL event?
He mastered the back side riding? Prove. Big sets? Prove.
He rips for sure. World Title contender? Yes
World Title Champion? No and never… till he get’s ball’s or deserve.
There are few guys at circus that deserves more than him.
Mick is one of that people shouts about only power carves and do the the same… but he is a true champion by blood, will and desire. he’s a true and born by be a champion.
Parko idem.
Talking abou a more conservative lines, these guys have tons of level more commitment than him.
Owen deserves more than him, Jules, JJF, Medina, Italo…
Competitive speaking, Jordy is mehhh
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Maybe. But I still think the judges were harsh on Jordy, particularly the 1st scoring wave.
Strider calling Jordy’s heat loss “Oh it’s so hard to watch”
Not if you enjoy and savour schadenfreude
On the topic of barrel riding, the judges seemed baffled. Or they got Porta’s message via Beachgrit to dial it way way back
Nick but i don’t even speak about that heat, but in general.
To think about the talent Jordy have, his improvement all long the years, it’s absurdelly low.
Jordy was the direct adversary of Adriano early days, battles about the junior world title…
Look how others have improved… and Jordy?
Filipe had an impressionant improvemnent, in rail game, proof his way to win J-Bay …
Even Kolohe improve…
But, and Jordy,with his absurd talent?
You don’t get world titles because you “deserve” them. You’ve gotta fucking win them.
Is a way to talk Nick…
But you all, surf journalists, do this exercise, of seeing the probably future about the surfers… long ago all you…
Derek, Sarge, you.. the power rankings.
Jordy improved like one of the others guys? Can you say that?
He is one of the favourites, to win Cloudbreak? Tchopo?…
Or maybe… next Hawaii?
Ha ha well all that shit is about to change isn’t it. The tour seems like it will look and work very differently in years to come. I think Jordy’s improved some things and not others, and he ain’t gonna win this year in any case. But I guess the point I am making is that you can forget “deserve” as a reason or a motive or indeed anything to do with world championships.
I know I know… it’s more a coloquial form of speaking
What I mean is, fucking desire to win… and battles to improve, habilities and tactical… or necessities point the way.
Adriano is a good exemple… one when he pledges for help at Pipe with JOB to improve the back side ride.
But one exemple is passing in blank: Miguel…
On Trestles, Mig was forced to changed the way he surf’s in heats… It’s extremely rare Migs take risks. Beautiful and power arcs… to the final at the heats… even when he extremely needs to put a move to change the result. But at Trestles he takes.
Migs in free surf always do progressive maneuvers, progressive surf.
Trestles he puts the knife in the mouth an do. And was beatutiful to see it. That risk and improvement.
Migs has surf to easily be top ten in WSL.
He only need to take the ball’s and do it, the things he knows and till Trestles don’t use.
Jordy have talent, brut talent… desire is another thing.
Yeah Miguel is a puzzling competitor, it’s always good to watch when he connects. It looks to me as if he struggles with adapting to changes in rhythm during heats, and also is very sensitive to his equipment – even a tiny “off” feeling in the board can throw him. That stuff saps your confidence. It’d be cool to see him regain some of the confidence he had in 2014.
FFS say it , he has the worst boards on Tour and struggles to nurse them all the time, which showed up in Stab in the dark , he has learnt to ride the average boards very well , but not having a magic design board , has limited his repetoire and confidence , poor bastard having to ride , who does shape and design his boards!
Brutus you talk about Miguel or Jordy?
If you talk about Migs the shaper of his boards are:
Wagner Pupo, his father
He speaks about this in a vídeo:
He tried others shapers but his fathers got upset, and Migs feels unhappy to creates a situation with him..And returns to the father’s boards…
I think it’s time to Migs breaks this and góes for others shapers.
A completely change… But it’s only a espectador pointer of view
Jordy , but yeah there are a lot of surfers on tour with average boards , which is not good enough when you surf against brilliant surfers who have every good equipment , and bummer about Migs , another surfer who suffers from over parenting , as its not about the surfer but the parents ego .
Now that you say it , Migs does have pretty ordinary boards as does ……
For sure next years some new rookies will push to another level…
But I want to see, Owen, Jules, Migs, and others, improve theirs games to face the new wave…
You better put f*cking strawberries and whipped cream on those waffles for that poor child…
Are you referring to Longtom?
I’m thinking Longtom might like…”confectionary sugar” on his waffles.
nah, I had cricket protein powder in my smoothie this morning. And so well rested.
Chas is doing Gods work here.
Is that made from real crickets?
They must be packed with protein because they’re bloody deafening down here in Oz.
thats what it says on the packet but it might be dried up dogshit for all I know.
I would advise not drinking it. What’s wrong with some simple oats?
Saving up your energy for the glowing ode to our back to back champion?