Mick Fanning Supertubos
With everyone's nerves exploding in the air, Mick has taken his strictly high-brow approach straight to the podium in 2009 an 2014. | Photo: WSL

Moneyball: Mick Fanning to win Portugal!

And Michel, Jack, Josh and Stu to lose… 

How’d you go picking winners in France? If you had a lousy team, don’t whimper or glow like a Halloween pumpkin at us.

Two weeks go, and based entirely on statistics, we suggested either Gabriel Medina or John John Florence would win and that Kolohe Andino would be the prized dark horse.

(Refresh here.)

The school teacher Balyn McDonald, whose website sings according to numbers not emotion, has a bank of stats on the Portugal event that make for compelling reading. Of course, like Scotch and avocados and most of the other things in life that are special, you learn to cultivate a taste for statistics.

Let’s go.

First, a few caveats.

Regarding John John winning a consecutive world title. Only four surfers have “gone back-to-back with titles in the modern era,” says Balyn. “Tom Carroll and Tom Curren, Andy and Kelly.”

Jordy: “He has never won two contests in a season.”

Gabriel: “Only one goofyfooter has won in Portugal and he’s no longer on tour, Kai Otton.”

Where’s that leave us?

Mick Fanning.

“Mick has won the event twice (the only surfer to do so) and he ranks near the top for Event Average Heat Score (2nd), Beachbreaks (2nd), Left/Right Peaks (5th) and 6-8′ waves (6th).”

On current form, Gabriel Medina is bringing the house down. He’s won the last two events (if y’count the pool), has the second-best form over the past three events, second-best win percentage for 2017 and fourth-best Average Heat Score for the season.

Ah, but if Gabriel is second, who is first? John John! Form, winning percentage and average heat scores.

Oowee, take out your wallet!

Now here’s who you should avoid, according to the numbers.

Michel Bourez: Averages less than ten points a heat here, and ranks in the bottom three for beachbreaks and left-right peaks.

Josh Kerr:  “He’s ranked lowest of all full-time tour surfers and has the worst win percentage to match.”

Jack Freestone: Three consecutive last-places and seven last-places for the year. Ninth worst on Average Heat Score over the last three events too.

Stu Kennedy: Dead last on current form. Stu is averaging 9.45 in heats over the last three events.

Who you think gonna flash at Portugal?

Dawn Patrol: Day One at the MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal

 

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janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

…and in news just in, Jackie Treehorn bags the wave of the day, and the Spartan and he progress.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

A great day for Lebowski’s favorite pornographer and the rest of the Cane Toads and Eugene .

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago

Imagine Laird doing the WSL commentary for the women’s tour.

I’d turn the volume on for once

Huckleberry
Huckleberry
8 years ago

Yep.

Huckleberry
Huckleberry
8 years ago

Fuckin’ SeaBass kid ! Come on.

brye
brye
8 years ago

let’s get on a roll and boycott the finals again. 🙂

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

The People™ of Portugal love them some dark horse. Just this summer Portugal hoof scratched their way into quite the WSL playbook snatched spamish Inquisition. How do you prepare a dark horse to be consumed? WSL reçipe says marinate that gamey cutting block. What say ye all?

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

I think you are on the right track.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Yeah but it’s like the old joke, marinate overnight then remove from marinade and throw away.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Brutalfully true.

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago

I’ve come to look forward to BG’s fantasy articles a day or two after the waiting period begins.

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

Unlike recent events where the forecast was meh…this one is starting out strong. Hence the fire under Derek’s ass.

Michael Flatlately
Michael Flatlately
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

A school teacher with a passion for surf statistics and an obvious glut of time… are you joinying any dots here David?

brye
brye
8 years ago

would really like for Owen Wilson to take this one out. He needs to turn on some mongrel and get angry out there. Give those Brazilians a taste of good old fashion Australian :”get the fuck out of here” attitude. But, if it is pissy closing out crap, then the judges will rig it so that big points go to those surfers who do one air on a wave.

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  brye

It’s not like Owen can’t do barrels, right?

brye
brye
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

hahaha. i am just sick of the way the wsl is gifting certain surfers with points. whilst, others who seem to use an entire wave get poor scores. need to clean up the scoring system.

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  brye

Serious question…is Owen okay? They showed him putting on his jersey and he was almost invisible. It’s like he has no body mass.

MrRight
MrRight
8 years ago
Reply to  brye
Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

I fucking love that photo. But sit down in the cheap seats you bastards!!!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

Rad article! Also…who else jumped on Medina for the title at 61:1!
Cheers Derek! Even the cash out offer is tempting.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Oh tell me: what’s the cash-out offer?

mybrothersajunkie
mybrothersajunkie
8 years ago
Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

Oh you put a tenner on also! Derek will stand to win 60bucks!

mybrothersajunkie
mybrothersajunkie
8 years ago

Fucken lettin it ride!

Tom
Tom
8 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

i did already is he still paying 61 – fuck that’s what got him for 4 weeks ago

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

He’s paying much less now.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
8 years ago

Kinda like to know what Longtom thinks?

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Yeah, naw. What does LAIRD think?

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

That’s Laird™ to you, kook!!!

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Sorry Massa!


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