Stab: This week in bad-vertorial!

"Oakley paid us to say that, but it's true!"

Advertising editorial, or advertorial, is the wave of three years ago but if you go to Mar Vista’s own stabmag.com as much as I do then you would be forgiven for thinking that it is also the future. Nobody but nobody tries to twist a company’s ad budget into awkward prose masquerading as real news than Stab. Nobody but nobody also throws fake Facebook “likes” at that story to make it look miraculously popular.

Maybe it’s the website’s DNA as part of an online surf retailer. Maybe it’s just a passion project. Whatever the case, Stab leads the way. And let us examine today’s offering for Oakley underneath the subhead…

“Oakley paid us to say that, but it’s true!”

A good pair of sunglasses exists to serve two main purposes: To look fucking cool and to provide protection for you eyes. Oakley’s new PRIZM technology adds a third. It involves what they call ultra precise colour tuning, for any environment. We’ll let them explain: “by fine-tuning individual wavelengths of colour, PRIZM sharpens visual acuity to reveal nuances that would be missed by the naked eye.”

Etc. Etc.

You probably know Oakley for their classic Frogskins, or those big wraps you’ve seen Kolohe Andino wearing in his post-heat interviews on the WSL webcast. But Oakley has some really good contemporary styles in their collection. Easily on the top of this list is the Latch, an easy-wearing modern classic.

Do you think it really is true? Do you think Oakley likes that Stab hedges by claiming, “Oakley paid us to say that?” Does it make you want to buy a pair of “contemporary styles” in Oakley’s collection?

I think Oakley was as bummed as the reader here which means Stab wins the award for this week’s bad-vertorial!

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nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
8 years ago

haha i dont even read this shit anymore

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

Did you really copy across the comments as well?

This is High Art.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Makes 8 days ago feel like today.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Damn you must be really struggling for stories. C’mon, you can do better than this.

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I disagree. This sort of fucking tripe needs to be flagged up. Stab can’t very well take the piss out of The Inertia one day and publish shite like that the next.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

Aviators and wayfarers. Perpetually in style and no thinking involved.

capn birdseye
capn birdseye
8 years ago

Real Talk – some of the biggest cunts I’ve met in “the industry” have been involved with this brand.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago

Well unless I can convince Julian to cut me in on a deal to get my myopic eyes framed with a set of prescription Oakley Prizimers™, it’ll be Chinese aviator knockoffs for me.

Noa's last dart
Noa's last dart
8 years ago

Well at least i get a surfing clip out of it, I come over here and all I get to read is Chas fucking whining about it. The jealousy is growing by the day isn’t it Chas?

Tom House
Tom House
8 years ago

A good rule of thumb:

If a pro surfer wears it, it sucks.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

I remember sporting the Oakley “M” frames early 90’s, corduroy billabong jackets, and sex wax stickers. Those were the days!

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
8 years ago

These just came out in Munich. Meyer Brillenmanufaktur.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago

I mean you can never have too much biolos. Well,yes,yes you can. Also i think it’s kinda funny he’s all about resin pigments and “everyman” boards. After saying guys who make those should quit.

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago

no, he said artsy guys making asyms in their garage should quit. and hey, look, SuperBrand!

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago

That’s the new white supremacy uniform.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

Fuck, that’s a punchable face.
(If you were the face punching type)

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

I try to punch at least 3 Nazis a week. I use my hands a lot though so practicing throat jabs for the richard Spencer rally on Friday. Get ready Florida has already declared a state of emergency, I’m gonna swing on some swastikas.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

There’s Florida Nazis? They retire there from Illinois?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

I hate Florida surf nazis.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago

Second in the nation to only Huntington.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

They will be at the qavepool

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

?gravepool (halloween gag)

shootsthen
shootsthen
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Most people don’t think of Florida as the “South,” but let me remind you, it’s further South than Georgia.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

PRIZM JISM CHASM

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

CHASM or GASM?

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago

Chas S.

Richie Collins Webs
Richie Collins Webs
8 years ago

Settle down. Filipe rips bug (t)

Richie Collins Webs
Richie Collins Webs
8 years ago

Basically comes down to the hedge. Obviously, detrimental to a commercial relationship. On a side note, I have two pairs now of PRIZM (Road, MTB) and they are awesome! Oh crap 😉 did I just get myself involved in the commercial!?

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

Are they responsible for Sebastian Zietze’s eyewear? Cuz I’m starting a class action and we’re gonna be rich

turts
turts
8 years ago

Oakleys are still a thing?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

Big in golf…

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago

It’s fairly transparent on STAB which articles are Native Advertising. The ones with Disqus disabled. How awkward it is to take someones money and then have your subjects tear them apart!

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

So awkward mate.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

Is this true? Are the comments turned off on advertorial posts?

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago

come on Dez, you aren’t that green

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

A gal can fish a little.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff
david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago

The suit comments have since be turned off. Somehow the boardshorts ones stayed open, but it’s just an edit being reposted anyway. Oakley comments – firmly a no go.

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

makes you wonder what eyeballs they think they’re buying eh? like “the comments can be a little harsh, but its all about ‘engagement’ nowadays” (which works with the 24 yr old social media manager but doesn’t work for the 54 yr old director of marketing)

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Just lost my third pair of sunglasses this year, slightly down on my average. The old dragon at the local service station knows my preferred style and now keeps a couple of pair behind the counter for me. Even gives me a “dickhead discount”. God bless her.

wincy
wincy
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I just opt for a set of squint headaches.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago
Reply to  wincy

I use those,they suck. I payed myself to pay that.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago
Reply to  wincy

You really are Nostradamus as this article appeared 6hrs ago on the site for me but comments listed as 8 days ago????

wincy
wincy
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

I knew you’d say that.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago
Reply to  wincy

I knew that you would know that I would say that!!! I’m freaking out


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