The world needs more uniters.
We live in the most divisive of times, blacks hating whites, browns hating whites, whites hating whites, whites hating taxes, whites hating healthcare, whites hating intercontinental ballistic missiles, whites hating North American free trade and I think this is all very sad. Oh of course our surf bubble is not immune. We bicker like the rest of them and maybe even worse. Australians hating Brazilians, Americans hating Brazilians, Hawaiians hating Brazilians, the French hating Brazilians, etc. A bunch of ugly nationalists.
This polarization is getting us nowhere though. And it is sad. So today I went looking for a role model. Someone we could all look to as an example of open-hearted civility in these darkest days. Someone we could hold up and emulate.
And I found that person.
Me.
Before the Corona J-Bay Open, you see, I set my Fantasy Surfer team to “all Brazilian.” That’s right. I paddled Adriano de Souza, Gabriel Medina, Filipe Toledo, Italo Ferreira, Caio Ibelli, Wiggolly Dantas, Miguel Pupo and Jadson Andre into the best J-Bay ever and they performed horribly.
But you know what? I forgot that I had a Fantasy Surfer team and so also paddled them into the Hurley Pro where they did better and the Quiksilver Pro where they did worse. And now my team is 20,662 out of 21,583.
Expect to see me interviewed by Anderson Cooper soon. And don’t forget your tissues.
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Sincerely I think this might be the best article you’ve written Chas. And that’s coming from a black, black heart driving a white devil
If Chas wasn’t blasting the wsl ambassador job, this cover letter might have gotten him the job
Ahahahaha I have done way worse things in fantasy teams. Too bad to elaborate.
my womens fantasy team is not set up for surf’s sake
Oh, wayyy worse man, I done way worse.
don’t leave us hanging mate
I actually choose my Women’s team in the order I would root them. This was found out by a fellow team members spouse and he was no longer allowed to play for some reason.
Statistics never lie! * This proves that Brazil is the worst performing surf nation in right hand points, soft peaks and close out beach breaks. I wonder how your team would out perform Brazil if it was made up entirely of Italians! Leo? * Sure they do!
We gonna build a huuuuuuuge wall!!!
From now on it’s
Brazil First!
And Paraguai will pay for this wall