In your face Kelly Slater!
In your face Kelly Slater!

Watch: Jordy Smith make sad little turns!

It's bangers and mash at Surf Snowdonia!

In the wave pool arms’ race Kelly Slater’s is like provocatively nuclear powered Donald J. Trump and Surf Snowdonia in Wales is like the nostalgic Winston Churchill. Do you even remember? The brave little pool came online maybe five years ago and wowed us with its potential.

Little did we know that all the technology would turn completely oppressive.

Well, Surf Snowdonia would like everyone to know that while it may not barrel and it may not get Shaun Tomson openly weeping that it is still around and has World Number 1 Jordy Smith doing… doing… turns!

Let’s watch objectively. Does Jordy look sad?

He seems to look sad.

And the wave?

Well, if I’m going to be totally honest the wave doesn’t look very good but the picturesque homes in the background along with the countryside makes me hungry for bangers and mash.

Jordy didn’t really banger or mash the wave though.

But I would personally take Surf Snowdonia over my ex-wife. That I can tell you honestly.

Jordy Smith - Wave Pool
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Ryan Polfer
Ryan Polfer
8 years ago

well In The German estates I’m sure it would do better than the indoor skiing and wake boarding combined. And also to possibly feel at home in Duisburg

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
8 years ago

ex wife? youve been married twice?

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
8 years ago

No. What is Bunnings?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Oh yes! But some sausages are more equal than others…

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
8 years ago

We can safely agree they will never have a CT event at that wave.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
8 years ago

I like to boil them in a frying pan in about 1 inch deep of beer with plenty sliced onions and garlic. Add black pepper and cayenne until it reduces down to just the onions and spicy beer glaze, put it on a toasted bun- heaven on earth.

Tom House
Tom House
8 years ago

He’d have more fun riding an egg on that wave.

/ducks

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom House

How good did his father’s board look under his feet “Stab in Dark”?

Tibbles
Tibbles
8 years ago

Fuck off “just sausages” ….. sure you intended to say potentially epic tubes of cooked meaty goodness

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
8 years ago

Got sent to the INTERMEDIATE TAKE OFF, dude told me ADVANCED TAKE OFF for meat eaters only

BTW gobs easier to make something better when already seen and spied on worse. Not that there’s any lawsuits brewing or anything

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago
Reply to  Ami Lost

👀👀

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
8 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

that’s what we do here

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
8 years ago
Reply to  Ami Lost

That would be a bitter pill to swallow if the staff told me I had to go to the INTERMEDIATE TAKE OFF section because I wasn’t good enough for the ADVANCED TAKE OFF area. Especially if they let Zach Weinberg in the ADVANCED TAKE OFF area.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
8 years ago

Can’t believe no one else on here picked up on that. Just goes to prove that everyone’s a ripper … in their own mind.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Boil gently then grill. It will change your fucking life.

Ryan Polfer
Ryan Polfer
8 years ago

Snowdonia is fun. A section to short, but fun. Optimal equipment in such a wonderful countryside is worth the 3 day drive, 2 surf session road trip from germany. Highly recommend. Great group of people there also! @ $50 a session and
#12 waves!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Had B&M tonight with peas and carrots and coverered in gravy. Night before I had lamb, almond and sultana pilaf. I rate them equally on the fang.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago

Looks like good practice. If the contest is at Fistral.

Antipodes
Antipodes
8 years ago

Maybe, I’m not sure its onshore and cold enough to truly replicate the Fistral surfing experience.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago

Yep that was in Melbourne too. Not that many curries on the Surf Coast to be honest. Only road trippers in silver Camrys. Your granddad sounds like a good man.

turts
turts
8 years ago

Pus

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago

My mum bakes sausages until they are just a hollow cardboard dildo with no meat inside. No amount of tomato sauce can make that shit palatable. Do you want to hear another story about how my mate tried to help a drunk taxi driver out of a gutter and ended up getting bashed by drunk bystanders who thought he was a racist cunt bashing a curry cabbie? The world is a funny place I love it.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
8 years ago

Tell us your story about your mate and the taxi driver Wiggs. The drunken antics of men are always entertaining. ( And you might want to kindly suggest to your mom my beer bratwurst recipe.)

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
8 years ago

Best descriptive sentence of dislike ever “a hollow cardboard dildo with no meat inside”!

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago

My old man’s favourite meal is bangers and mash. He got caught coked up doing 80kms an hour in a clapped out Kingswood with 11 passengers down a short pedestrian only pier in Melbourne circa 75. Cops made him drive everyone home as punishment. The golden days of fighting skin heads and watching AC/DC at the pub are gone now. Point of the story is I’m pretty confident my dad’s taste buds are fucked cos bangers and mash is shit.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

Curried sausages will unite both cultures with ease.

abs(ə)nt
abs(ə)nt
8 years ago

Ben Gravy would shit his pants to film at this novelty spot!

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
8 years ago
Reply to  abs(ə)nt

Never a fan of that man until I watched him surf a river in Missouri..

abs(ə)nt
abs(ə)nt
8 years ago

I’m a huge fan of his apparent love for surfing. His ability on a board might not cut it against the pro pros, but I’m always down to watch him surf something interesting.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
8 years ago
Reply to  abs(ə)nt

Thought he was truly genuine when he saw the only surfer in Missouri pull up.. Stoked on his stoke now!

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

As Churchill said, “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

Kennypowersmullet
Kennypowersmullet
8 years ago

Well that was pretty average. 😑

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com
8 years ago

Pretty rough to be “boom” 6’3 and make it look good. Maybe wigolly should be the guy instead.

Kennypowersmullet
Kennypowersmullet
8 years ago

Still compared slaters pool it looks pretty weak. Even occy’s mini pool waves looks like they have more push..
But if France is held in fat high tide burgers jordy’s at least been practicing


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