Ancient technology triumphs in wetsuit design.
If you would examine your current wetsuit, you’d find it to be a chest-zip or zipper-less suit. Am I right?
To get into these suits is a melodrama. You must squeeze your heft into a little hole, push one arm into a smaller hole, shimmy it up around your chest, fix first arm, then second, throw the flap over your head and so on. Its removal requires yogi-like dexterity.
Some years ago, all wetsuits came with a long zip from ass to neck. Entry was via a hole as big as your waist, not your neck, and the transaction was completed in a minute or less. It’s post-session removal was almost instant.
But then, partly through marketing (pressure on designers from their sales departments to give something new to push), partly through the need to create so-called advancements in technology (testing showed back zips were slightly more permeable than a neck entry), the back zip faded into memory.
A few weeks ago, I saw that Need Essentials had thrown a few back-zip steamers into their range. And, yesterday, while surfing with a pal in Leucadia he loaned me a one-year-old O’Neill Psychofreak with a back zip or, as its called by O’Neill, a “Zen Zip”.
It’s been a decade or so since I’d experienced the thrill of easily throwing on a suit. It was elevating.
And after the session, all it took to loose my torso into the sun was a one-handed rip of the neck closure and a yank of the zip.
I find the back zip so superior to either zipperless or the chest-zip that this hardly qualifies as faux or real.
But maybe I’m wrong.
I completely agree back zip is superior. Especially since front zip still allows water in through the neck under heavy surf. Why struggle and fight when you’re hands barely work from these flimsy leaky gloves they sell now. Why can’t anyone make a palm that doesn’t break down after one season? I remember some old Gul(?) brand that had a good solid vinyl type palm that never broke
Representing the quiet majority – chest zip or no zip, no question. Back zips always leak at the neck, are stiff along the spine and velcro doesn’t belong anywhere near a wetsuit.
Pretty sure the waves would have to be all-time for me to don another man’s used wetsuit. The ultimate sloppy seconds.
I like the custom tunability of how tight the neck is on a back zip.
For instance if it turns suddenly too warm mid sesh I’ll set that sucker to boat neck. But if I’m rubbing one out in the parking lot bathrooms it cranks down real tight, and the hangin’ string’s built right in.
You’re welcome O’Neill for your next ad campaign.
Funny how prices in British pounds are 20 to 40 € cheaper than the euro prices on the need essentials website.
,I guess PAtagonia has kept the back zip suit in their range always..but it this was just to stab some free “need essentials “ advert I get it..
Turns out the early morning surf when possible and riding a 110cc motorbike 4-5 hours a day is all it takes. Who would a thunk it?
Chest zips don’t fit my 19” neck.
Sounds like you are going in upside down.
Front Zip is best if you’re a goofy, as the access is always via the left chest/ shoulder, so ejecting forward [onto the right shoulder] does not result in a douching via the access site. So that seals the deal for me. Another advantage to having the right foot forward.
Zipper-less are the worse. Stupid putting that thing on. Bring back the good old back-zip!
i am a fan of that zen closure for reals. so easy! i like easy.
the best part of chest zip is the part where cold water drips in through the zipper and down the cleavage. so the best.
I like easy too.
wetsuits, my dude, we’re talking about wetsuits
You started it. Poor Wiggs is the victim here.
It started all inadvertent? But then it maybe got a little advertent. Idk, is that even a word? Can we make it a word? Shit’s getting confusing.
Your dude? 😍😍😍😍
Get a room, you guys. Promise I won’t watch.
The first Beachgrit wedding. The bucks party is sorted who the fuck will go on the hens do.
As I search my memory palace for late-90’s surf shop marketing materials, I am lead to believe that the “ZEN” acronym stood for “Zipperless Entry Neck.” So therefore, ZEN Zip is now “Zipperless Entry Neck Zip.”
Also, back zips are garbage.
one mans garbage another mans treasure …try a back zip that’s water proof with a proper neck , also should be a lot cheaper and more user friendly unless you are a cuntos!
I mean, I like the chest zip I have. I like it! But then I’m standing there on the beach and my dude is totally dressed and idly scrolling through his phone and I’ve still only managed to get one arm out of my suit. I am not good at the things maybe.
Also important to acknowledge the quality of your surfing companions. If you have friends who would take advantage of your compromised ability to defend yourself, definitely go back zip.
Loved the first chest zip steamer, the way water entry was minimised, the warmth, but only bought it because some numb nut had accidentally put a back zip price tag on it. After a couple of winters, the neoprene gave it out and the thrill of icy cold water entering through access points in the arse* while entering the waves was underwhelming. There are also issues around the shoulder stretching areas.
*Before making any comments about middle aged spread, please consider I’m actually lighter than I have been in about 10 years.
Nup, not going back, zipless are warmer and more flexible around the aging shoulders. Let’s keep the push for more more flex and more warmth out of less rubber moving forward, don’t look back
I love a good wide set back zip. But I do think these tiny zipper on the shoulder Hurley suits I have are better.
While Warmer, they do produce a strong chance of injury when trying to take them off
Right.
It’s been a very, very long campaign to get the back zip back .
Chest zips blow goats
totally forgot about needessentials. Nearly bought a new suit, glad i didnt yet.
Hope you are not a fat cunto like me, need essentials has only up to xl sizing
Does anyone else experience that thing with chest zips where if you fall at the right angle you get a flush of cold water – damn I hate that! I’m on board Derek!
Nope, I haven’t actually fallen yet. I’ll let you know if I ever do though
I hate chest zips but find them to be more flexible and warmer, so it’s a fair trade off. Plus the Velcro around the neck of the back zip fucking sucks ass
Agreed – the rash from the neck entry on back zips can be hideous.
I end up with some tatty rag looking thing around my neck which resembles a stray dog. Velcro and neoprene is the stupidest combination ever.
So what your saying is that you need to do more yoga?
I kid you not binned my e bomb yesterday – it lasted 10 years, maybe more. Was front zipper tho would like back zipper again
Much easier to impress the ladies with a back zipper. Staring at the horizon, slight back arch, one perfectly timed pull and hearts start a fluttering!
Like your talk up and self confidence – very very good
Self help in action!
What about bouncing round the car park like you are munted at a bush doof then having to get the local pedo to do it up cos it’s jammed
If you’re into being touched up by the local pedo, chest entry wetties are certainly the go.
Nah, front zip way better protection from forced entry via a blindside attack from the rear