Tailgate wisdom!

Quiz: Does your surfing reflect your personality?

Is it true? Is your surfing an accurate reflection of who you are?

Yesterday, on the Instagram account @reportsfromhell, which is operated by BeachGrit’s Chas Smith, there appeared the following post.

How u Surf Is who u r. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BbDETlJFKhv/?hl=en&taken-by=reportsfromhell

It’s a good question.

An absorbing aphorism revealed on the tailgate of a pick-up, not a little unlike, say, the apparitions of the Virgin Mary sixty years ago in Garabandal.

Think: Does your surfing reflect your true personality?

If you’re a little tight in the ass, wound up like hell, does your surfing naturally suffer? Do your turns lack a smooth elegance?

If you’re beautiful and free and ain’t a care in the world, is your surfing looser? Does it make you a throwaway air kinda guy?

If you’re meticulous, do you eat up every single section before safely tagging the end closeout?

If you take a moral view of everything, do you make a mental account of who’s catching what and y’get all worked up if someone bucks the natural order?

Or is the whole concept too damn confronting?

I’m a superficially happy guy masking a lifetime of despair and hopelessness, more sad sack than showman.

And I think it shows.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
34 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
surfless
surfless
8 years ago

Becoming a better surfer = becoming a better person.

Steezus Christ
Steezus Christ
8 years ago

This could be true, I do look a lot like a PigDog and a Stinkbug

Neal Kearney
Neal Kearney
8 years ago

A soft, awkward stanced,weak and styless donkey? Yes I am how I surf.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

“I’m a superficially happy guy masking a lifetime of despair and hopelessness, more sad sack than showman.”
Dez it was recently “are you ok day” – are you ok????
Think you need a big hug bro – after my surf fri I have a lot of hugs to give!!

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Did you surf somewhere fabulously weird on Friday?

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

Nah mate not weird but 4 1/2 hr session was epic A frames 3 guys 2-4ft – I live in a reasonably close vicinity to your little Sabre mate!!

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

It is a dazzling stretch of coast…

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

oh yes north of Sydney sth of forster – very very good

Not More
Not More
8 years ago

Small and aggressive with big ideas and potentially huge outcomes but a major unwillingness to do the research, basics and ground work first. And when I surf?Find small waves, pop up to my knees, clamber to my feet (eventually) aggressively pump down the line, passing every section and throw a hail Mary air reverse attempt at the end section even though I’ve never done/learnt a cutback or simple top or bottom turn in my life.

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago

What does driving your wife’s Porsche say about you?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

That you married well?

East of the 5
East of the 5
8 years ago

If I snake little girls, do lame 360’s, ride foreign pop-outs, lie to my employer, mistime every turn, and blow every backside barrel then my life imitates my surfing. Thanks for pointing this out to me. I’m going to watch “Take Every Wave” tripping face on mushrooms now….again.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

I’ve gotten in my fair share of fist fights in my life. Won many. Lost a number of times too. I thought I was tougher. I thought I had the upper hand. But, fact is sometimes stupid shit started with me standing and ended with me prone hugging the earth. The ocean is the only adversary that has handed me the humbling experience of beginning battle in a prone position and getting violently beaten backwards into a standing position. From surfline to shoreline ending in a standing posture, wondering how things went so wrong. I believed it was just bad luck. Paddled into battle with the ocean again and got deposited on the beach again. Left very self conscious with worrisome thoughts of the cliffside tally of Snickers. The commute in traffic those days didn’t aggravate me like normal.

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com
8 years ago

During the jaws swell i paddled out to my local which breaks like a hollower sunset beach. Dry hair paddled out to 8 to 10 foot bombing sets. All my buddies were catching waves left and right. I couldn’t catch even one wave. Four and a half hours later I dry hair paddled in right before I started cramping. Not one wave caught. So I guess I show up to a raging party then don’t even party?

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

That’s some honest shit right there #metoo

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

So you’re saying my surfing looks like binge TV and complaining about things?

Tom
Tom
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

That’s all I do in front of the TV to my wife’s disdain – comment on everything

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Wives really love comments demeaning their favorite shows. Haiku’d “this is so lame” Color Commentary guarantees cold cereal for your next meal.

Antipodes
Antipodes
8 years ago

Inconsistent, distracted, easily frustrated and fond of the left. Sounds about right.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

Alternatively, you surf to conceal who u r

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

This is amazing and spot on I personally believe.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Contrived Kookdom.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

I wax my board like a devil, paddle like a demon, glide like an albatross and talk shit in the carpark like a parrot.

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

Oh Derek! 😢

If we include all aspects of surfing – not just riding the wave but the lineup tactics as well – it tells you enough to know who to stick with when the zombie apocalypse hits.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Do you think an apocalypse will bite, maybe not now and not necessarily zombie, but maybe? Is it coming soon?

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Yes. Government funded WQS events. The Florida Pro Surf won’t be the last instance of bureaucratic agenda sponsored surf contests. The Olympics may warp the WCT into something we barely recognize.

wincy
wincy
8 years ago

It feels that way but has it felt that way for every male between the age of about 26-55 since the start of modern civilisation?

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

What wincy said. But I think it’s best to stop worrying and learn to love the bomb.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago

Well that’s confusing. According to my last two surfs; “I struggle to catch a break, yet when I do, can’t actually reach a satisfying conclusion/fall on my face”.

wincy
wincy
8 years ago

I don’t often surf, but when I do, I don’t go for many waves, but if I do, I pull into any tube at any chance, hold my breath, close my eyes and blow it early. Just like my life. My sex life.

Noa's last dart
Noa's last dart
8 years ago

What if you’re just more in to checking the surf.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Then your Australian friends call you “checkmate”. Chess kidding.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago

I’d like to believe there’s deep wisdom in this
But it looks like 5 year old’s handwriting

I think a grommet maybe tagged his car

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

Valuable time spent surfing instead of learning to write. Must be a great surfer and therefore a great person!


34
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x