Matt Warshaw, the author of “The Encyclopedia of
Surfing,” called the antagonism toward Wavestormers “just the
latest misguided frustration for surfers, who are always pissed
off,” and said that it resembled the scorn that surfers had in the
eighties for bodyboarding, then experiencing a boom. “You saw prime
breaks like Off the Wall, on the North Shore, become nearly
overtaken by bodyboarders,” he said. “It was like the killer bees
were coming. You’d think there was going to be a civil
war.”
“The Cult of the Costco Surfboard!”
By Derek Rielly
The world's biggest-selling surfboard in The New
Yorker.
In your most uproarious fantasy, did you ever
imagine the biggest-selling surfboard in the world would be an
eight-foot long softie from a membership-only warehouse
retailer?
Over the past few years, the Wavestorm has been championed by
very good surfers, notably Jamie O’Brien, in the sort of ironic
gesture that often morphs into a general acceptance.
Like those ironic shakas you throw at pals that quickly replaces
a wave. Like calling everyone “bro” for laughs until it becomes
standardised.
Recently, The New Yorker examined the phenomenon in a
story called “The Cult of the Costco Surfboard”.
Read a little.
Though it has been nipped, tucked, and stiffened over the
years, the Wavestorm eight-footer has existed in roughly the same
form since 2006. That’s when Matt Zilinskas, a former manager of
the Boogie Board brand, and the Taiwanese businessman John Yeh, of
AGIT Global—Boogie Board’s manufacturer—tweaked AGIT’s sandwich of
expanded polystyrene foam and plastic to create a board for a
surfer’s “first standup experience.” The Wavestorm, a high-volume,
low-profit-margin play, was priced at a third of what most starter
surfboards cost. By 2015, Bloomberg Businessweek reported that over
half a million Wavestorms had been sold, and Costco was on pace to
sell a hundred thousand that year alone. (Zilinskas calls those
numbers “outrageous” but declined to provide more accurate
figures.) In peak summer, they can be bought at nearly two hundred
coastal Costco locations.
And,
The Web is where the Wavestorm phenomenon
has been most thoroughly documented. The Instagram account the Kook
of the Day, which has over half a million subscribers, compiles
surreptitiously snapped photos and footage of neophytes committing
various style errors and surfing sins. In one shot, a Wavestormer
wears board shorts over his wetsuit; in another, a person riding a
hoverboard drags the tail of his Wavestorm though an intersection.
One Kook of the Day staple is a shot of Wavestorm boards hastily
shoved through the sunroof of some sedan, splayed like pickup
sticks. A number of videos show Wavestormers face-planting in
foot-high surf.
But not all social-media fodder over the
Wavestorm has been as barbed. The Instagram account Team Wavestorm
Official—which, despite its name, is not affiliated with the brand
in any way—has more than twenty-three thousand followers, and
enthusiastically cheers on Wavestorm riders, whom the account’s
creator, Nate Rohner, calls “the outcasts of surfing.” There are
photos of locals riding the budget boards on the thunderous waves
of Makaha, a surf break near an economically depressed town in
Oahu, and there are surfboard selfies taken by Mike Coots, a
shark-attack victim who surfs on a Wavestorm because his prosthetic
leg would damage a fibreglass board.
Questions: do you enjoy the democratising
effect of cheap, easy-to-ride surfboards?
Do you own a Wavestorm?
Or are you such an insubordinate cuss your
mood grows dark at the mention of Wavestorm?
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Alignment: BeachGrit is “Chaotic
Evil!”
By Chas Smith
Surf media explained!
Do you love personality tests/character
profiles/internet quizzes as much as I do? I clearly remember the
first time I was made aware of Myers-Briggs and thought, “Whoa! A
key to my inner potential!” Of course it wasn’t, I have no inner
potential, but it is so fun to dream. And it is fun to dream with
each new variation that pops up. Like Alignment! Have you heard of
this one? It declares:
A creature’s general moral and personal attitudes are
represented by its alignment: lawful good, neutral good, chaotic
good, lawful neutral, neutral, chaotic neutral, lawful evil,
neutral evil, or chaotic evil.
Alignment is a tool for developing your character’s
identity. It is not a straitjacket for restricting your character.
Each alignment represents a broad range of personality types or
personal philosophies, so two characters of the same alignment can
still be quite different from each other. In addition, few people
are completely consistent.
So far so good. And where does the surf media fit here? Good
thing we have friends. A wonderful one sent me this via Instagram
yesterday and it has kept me pondering for hours.
And let’s disect!
WSL is Lawful Good:
A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or
required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the
discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his
word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A
lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful
good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and
compassion. Lawful good can be a dangerous alignment when it
restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.
Surfer is Neutral Good:
A neutral good character does the best that a good person can
do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and
magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the
best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good
without bias for or against order. Neutral good can be a dangerous
alignment when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of
the truly capable.
@kookslams is Chaotic Good:
A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with
little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way,
but he’s kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but
has little use for laws and regulations. He hates it when people
try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He follows his
own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of
society. Chaotic good is the best alignment you can be because it
combines a good heart with a free spirit. Chaotic good can be a
dangerous alignment when it disrupts the order of society and
punishes those who do well for themselves.
The Inertia is Lawful Neutral:
A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal
code directs her. Order and organization are paramount to her. She
may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or
she may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized
government. Lawful neutral is the best alignment you can be because
it means you are reliable and honorable without being a zealot.
Lawful neutral can be a dangerous alignment when it seeks to
eliminate all freedom, choice, and diversity in society.
Surfline is True Neutral:
A neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. She
doesn’t feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good
vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most neutral characters exhibit a lack
of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such
a character thinks of good as better than evil-after all, she would
rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, she’s
not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or
universal way. Some neutral characters, on the other hand, commit
themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law,
and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the
middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the
long run. Neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means
you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion. Neutral can be
a dangerous alignment when it represents apathy, indifference, and
a lack of conviction.
Surf Splendor is Chaotic Neutral:
A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an
individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but doesn’t
strive to protect others’ freedom. He avoids authority, resents
restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral
character does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a
campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either
by good (and a desire to liberate others) or evil (and a desire to
make those different from himself suffer). A chaotic neutral
character may be unpredictable, but his behavior is not totally
random. He is not as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it.
Chaotic neutral is the best alignment you can be because it
represents true freedom from both society’s restrictions and a
do-gooder’s zeal. Chaotic neutral can be a dangerous alignment when
it seeks to eliminate all authority, harmony, and order in
society.
Stab is Lawful Evil:
A lawful evil villain methodically takes what he wants within
the limits of his code of conduct without regard for whom it hurts.
He cares about tradition, loyalty, and order but not about freedom,
dignity, or life. He plays by the rules but without mercy or
compassion. He is comfortable in a hierarchy and would like to
rule, but is willing to serve. He condemns others not according to
their actions but according to race, religion, homeland, or social
rank. He is loath to break laws or promises. This reluctance comes
partly from his nature and partly because he depends on order to
protect himself from those who oppose him on moral grounds. Some
lawful evil villains have particular taboos, such as not killing in
cold blood (but having underlings do it) or not letting children
come to harm (if it can be helped). They imagine that these
compunctions put them above unprincipled villains. Some lawful evil
people and creatures commit themselves to evil with a zeal like
that of a crusader committed to good. Beyond being willing to hurt
others for their own ends, they take pleasure in spreading evil as
an end unto itself. They may also see doing evil as part of a duty
to an evil deity or master. Lawful evil creatures consider their
alignment to be the best because it combines honor with a dedicated
self-interest. Lawful evil is the most dangerous alignment because
it represents methodical, intentional, and frequently successful
evil.
What Youth is Neutral Evil:
A neutral evil villain does whatever she can get away with. She
is out for herself, pure and simple. She sheds no tears for those
she kills, whether for profit, sport, or convenience. She has no
love of order and holds no illusion that following laws,
traditions, or codes would make her any better or more noble. On
the other hand, she doesn’t have the restless nature or love of
conflict that a chaotic evil villain has. Some neutral evil
villains hold up evil as an ideal, committing evil for its own
sake. Most often, such villains are devoted to evil deities or
secret societies. Neutral evil beings consider their alignment to
be the best because they can advance themselves without regard for
others. Neutral evil is the most dangerous alignment because it
represents pure evil without honor and without variation.
BeachGrit is Chaotic Evil:
A chaotic evil character does whatever his greed, hatred, and
lust for destruction drive him to do. He is hot-tempered, vicious,
arbitrarily violent, and unpredictable. If he is simply out for
whatever he can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed
to the spread of evil and chaos, he is even worse. Thankfully, his
plans are haphazard, and any groups he joins or forms are poorly
organized. Typically, chaotic evil people can be made to work
together only by force, and their leader lasts only as long as he
can thwart attempts to topple or assassinate him. Chaotic evil is
sometimes called “demonic” because demons are the epitome of
chaotic evil. Chaotic evil beings believe their alignment is the
best because it combines self-interest and pure freedom. Chaotic
evil is the most dangerous alignment because it represents the
destruction not only of beauty and life but also of the order on
which beauty and life depend.
And do you agree? Is this the best summation of surf media? The
most accurate? Weigh in! And where do you fall personally? With
which outlet do you naturally align?
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Tailgate wisdom!
Quiz: Does your surfing reflect your
personality?
By Derek Rielly
Is it true? Is your surfing an accurate reflection
of who you are?
Yesterday, on the Instagram account
@reportsfromhell, which is operated by
BeachGrit’s Chas Smith, there appeared the
following post.
An absorbing aphorism revealed on the tailgate of a pick-up, not
a little unlike, say, the apparitions of the Virgin Mary sixty
years ago in Garabandal.
Think: Does your surfing reflect your true personality?
If you’re a little tight in the ass, wound up like hell, does
your surfing naturally suffer? Do your turns lack a smooth
elegance?
If you’re beautiful and free and ain’t a care in the world, is
your surfing looser? Does it make you a throwaway air kinda
guy?
If you’re meticulous, do you eat up every single section before
safely tagging the end closeout?
If you take a moral view of everything, do you make a mental
account of who’s catching what and y’get all worked up if someone
bucks the natural order?
Or is the whole concept too damn confronting?
I’m a superficially happy guy masking a lifetime of despair and
hopelessness, more sad sack than showman.
And I think it shows.
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"As long as you can make it through a couple of rounds,
you make a lot of money." says local surfer Rachel Presti
(pictured).
Florida Pro: Women to double men’s
money!
By Chas Smith
It's a feel-good story!
Now if this ain’t a feel good story I don’t
know what is. In the very second that businessmen, male
politicians, actors, producers are getting felled by the Lincoln
Continental-load for being improperly sexually aggressive/generally
very rude, a brand-new surf contest in Florida is serving up more
than double the prize money to the women over the men. 25k for the
men. 55k for the women. The largest purse in U.S. history for a
women’s event!
Oh I know that it’s a men’s 1500 and a women’s 6000 but still
55k ain’t nothing to sneeze at. And let’s read a little from
Florida Today:
The Florida Pro Surf event will be unusual, in that the
women’s prize money will be significantly higher than the men’s
prize. The winner of the men’s competition will receive $4,000 to
$5,000, with a total prize pool of $25,000.
Fifteen-year-old surfer Rachel Presti of Melbourne Beach
says she’s excited about competing in the event.
“This is my home break,” Rachel said as she joined Hobgood
and other surfers at Sebastian Inlet on Wednesday to film
promotional videos for the event and to surf the waves. “It’s a
good wave. I surf here almost every day. I think it’s great,
because we’re having a huge competition here.”
Rachel, who has been surfing competitively since age 9, says
she is looking forward to competing in the Florida Pro Surf event
against some of the top competitors in women’s surfing.
“It pushes me to do better,” she said.
And, noting the unusually high prize purse for a women’s
event, she added: “As long as you can make it through a couple of
rounds, you make a lot of money.”
Do you want to know who is surfing in the men’s side? CJ Hobgood
and Cory Lopez! Between that and women getting rich I think I want
to go to the Florida Pro. I think it might be the best surf contest
ever.
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You ever see anything as pretty?
Watch: “Jack Robinson x Rabbits”
By Derek Rielly
Luscious and high contrast!
Jack Robinson is the boy with the bouffant
hairdo who, as one surf agent told me recently, was the
last of the great speculative buys.
Do you remember three years ago when Billabong shovelled their
last shekels at Jack to steal him away from Quiksilver, back when
they were separate companies and not part of the same American
hedge fund? Billabong’s Gordon Merchant described Jack as a
“once-in-a-generation” talent and got the kid on a five-year
deal.
The following Hawaiian winter Jack, then seventeen, beat Jamie O
and Mason Ho to win the Pipeline trials. And it wasn’t small.
Anyway, even though Jack’s career trajectory hasn’t
gone exactly to plan
since any sort of vision of his surfing features
elegant, painterly lines.
In the (very) short below, we see Jack at Rabbits (is it okay to
name Rabs now? Does Taj know) by the Western Australian-based
filmer Azure Co.
Worth a little contemplation.
You liked? This ain’t bad either
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
