Australia's most intelligent company strikes again!
Your favorite online Australian surfwear retailer is back in the news with a stunning counter punch. SurfStitch, former parent company of Stab and FCS, was looking very on the ropes just weeks ago. Punch drunk. Getting sued by investors, stock frozen, owners of Stab. It seemed that a knockout was minutes away but suddenly, and without warning, Stab bought itself back for free and then just seconds ago it was revealed that the company purchased the surfwear brand Depactus.
What thrills!
You may recall Depactus from… when… ummm… the brainchild of… wait was it Luke Egan or Luke Munro? And camping gear? Did Depactus make camping gear? I’m sorry. I’m writing the prologue to book right now and not the detailed surf journalist you’ve come to know and love.
In any case, Depactus then was rumored to have folded. Derek Rielly wrote two years ago:
Word on the street is Depactus is done. The MEPs (Men of Extraordinary Pursuits) are actively seeking alternative sponsorships and the reason for its failure?
We’re told the brand was marked by three major flaws.
-Big salaries right out of the gate.
-Branding that was tone deaf to the consumer. Depactus came in high-end and expensive where Salty Crew, who is killing it, came in low, came in blue-collar. Same waterman-fisherman-surfer vibe but more authentic and value oriented.
-Bold spending. Big ad agency employed, designers, staff and the most delicious trade show fit-outs seen in a while.
And the world moved on. Except SurfStitch, the company that reeks of value, of good decision-making, saw an opportunity to strike it rich and scooped Depactus up for… I have no idea. Nothing?
Some questions.
How was SurfStitch aware that Depactus had not totally died? Do you think the SurfStitch x Depactus relationship will fare better than the SurfStitch x Stab one? Will Depactus go out and sponsor more Men of Extraordinary Pursuits? If SurfStitch came to your house looking to buy you would you flee or ask, “How much you got?”
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that tent looks like one those shit popup thing with tigers and parrots printed on it that you buy from kmart for ten bucks
Who?…bought…what?
Turning a new leaf in the business model, getting their shyte together. Why do you guys have to be so loose with your hate? Repactus is going to put their product where every man (not just gay) will be incontinent to its luring.
Surely this is an early April fools joke? Floundering, semi bankrupt e-com surf company buys failed surf brand. What could possibly go wrong.
And Quicksilver buying Billabong?
I’ll never forget when you announced that this company was first starting someone on here called it De Packed Ass. Hahahahahahhaa! It’s still hilarious.
Cannibalism is on the menu! Quiksilver to but Billabong. Quick have a Bong!
Failed businesses are an incestuous bunch.
Everything in surf is incestuous. I wonder who will win this race to the bottom?
Power bottom?
Gang bang to the bottom?
Gang Bang to the Glory Black Hole?
Somebody send me rory’s Address on kauai. I want to go take a dump on his doorstep!!!
I always ask people about their Depactus shirts and they are like, “never heard of it, i just got this shirt off of the 5 dollar rack at Ross.” The Australian guy was tripping out that it was a mark Healy company.
Healy has been with Lululemon for over a year, now.
Depactus has to be one of the most unfortunate company names in a while.
I just saw Quiksilver made a bid to buy Billabong, but wasn’t Billabong close to buying Rip Curl. Its a surf brand human centipede!
ha , no was always Oaktree who were going to buy BBG.
Rip Curl actually make profit , and Depactus , well ah , I wonder if they know that there is no actual product on the USA market , so maybe SS are going take on the world with a cheap clothing brand , direct sales genius!
SurfStitch were/are selling Depactus boardshorts for like $17 each.
shit yeah chrissy presents for sure
The model looks authentic
needs more beard maybe
The beach in that photo is so unappealing, all that’s missing is a few used syringes on the ground and one of those trucks that goes around emptying sewage from the port o johns. Camo tent bwhahaha
looks like its from that surf nazis movie
I heard the water around Rio is a Depactus breeding ground.
I would let them buy me, then when blood was running in the streets, buy myself back at 1/10 my original sell price. Isn’t this how it works?
Yes but would you want yourself back after what had been done to you?
I would rebuild!
Start hi…sell low.
Depactus. Sounds like the medical term for removing a bowel obstruction.
And if Surf Stitch came to my door looking to purchase me? That’s the equivalent of the reaper coming to collect your soul.
The word “inertia” has always reminded me of some type of bowel issue too. “Sorry, you’ve got an Inertia and you’re going to need a procedure called a Depactus.”
I had a severe Stab-ing pain. Tuned out it was just an Inertia and I needed a good Depactus.
I have beach grit stuck in my depactus and it’s giving me stab-ing pain and inertia.
You cunts are just jealous that SurfStitch hasn’t tried to buy you.
Deep chuckle. Where would we go if they did? Theory: Transaction may have already occurred. Rory’s departure was a buy out leaving D and C’s kickstands in place. All the drama withe Rory was a ruse.. more drama we we we we………… we! Love drama. We’ve been had
Is that why Rory is currently fixated on the ladies pulling their bikini bottoms out of their cracks over on Maui?
I don’t want to look, right? Right.
I looked so that you didn’t have to.
oh guuuuhhhh i looked. it was not good.
Poor thing…
To be fair, I’m not sure they’re aware this place exists.