Collusion: Stab and Billabong fire Jack?

A conspiracy for the rest of us!

I’m tired. It’s not your fault… you are my joy, my reason for waking each morning and running to the computer like a Zionist to Jerusalem’s new American embassy. It’s just… just… I bit off a lot this year. But enough about me. Can we talk about Stab? And Jack Robinson? And how Stab might be an ugly corporate tool? I totally missed it because of my busyness but what a story!

I was made aware of the fact that Billabong might not be renewing with Jack just this morning as I sat down for a podcast with David Lee Scales. He told me. I said, “Whoa.” And he said, “Yeah. I got that from Stab.”

And my wheels started to turn. Jack Robinson was the up-and-coming thing of this next generation. He, the fearless towhead, was set to challenge John John for supremacy in our hearts and in our minds. Things went a little quiet for Jack as he transitioned though puberty though he remains a once-in-a-decade talent. But then, four short months ago, Stab went a published a moralist takedown of Jack Robinson’s father for having a few too many beers in Tahiti and/or swindling Billabong in the process. Then, two shorter weeks ago, the same Stab published this, buried deep in a poorly conceived column named Gossip Girl:

We’ve heard strange rumblings for years, of difficulties w/r/t the Robinson’s relationship with, well, just about everyone, not least of which young Jack’s marquee sticker sponsor. You’ll have noticed a strange Lack of Jack, as it were and as of late, though there are competing theories as to what’s keeping a lid on Jack’s seemingly bottomless cup of talent, marketability, and raw, West Australian nerve. While surfers sitting well below Jack Robo on the popularity pecking order get the call-ups for team trips and filming strikes, with few exceptions the Robinson’s line’s been dead for the better part of a year. With his contract up, and with no sign of resigning, as of this writing one of surfing’s true young, bright stars has lost its place in the current sponsorship constellation.

Now, it very much seems that something is rotten in the state of Venice-adjacent. It appears that either Stab is off the reservation libeling one of Billabong’s young star’s father before positing “strange rumblings” of “difficulties” with the Robinsons relationship with “everyone” or that Billabong wanted Jack gone and used Stab as a dull tool to push out unflattering material. And then wanted Stab to push the ugliest collaboration joint of all-time?

Hmmmm.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

If you were Quiksilver would you be happy that Iggy Pop x Billabong cut off Leo Fioravanti’s face for your own joint with Stab? And how much cajoling will it take for Stab to drop the racially insensitive “joint”? Should we start an online petition?