The noted Australian shaper on misery, Jesus and Muhammad and pools (of course)…
Two months ago, I edited a print edition of the Australian magazine Surfing Life. It was called The Surfboard Issue and one of the features was a series of interviews, made in the Esquire What I’ve Learned style, of noted surfboard shapers.
Last week, I ran the interview with Maurice Cole on BeachGrit, although the story was quickly pulled down when I was reminded I’d sent a longer version to the The Surfers Journal.
Today, the man you know, the man you love, the divine delicacy Greg Webber, pioneer of concave and curve. Inventor of the banana board for Shane Herring in 1992 and Kelly Slater in 2016. Creator of Webber wavepools.
Come inhale those vapours.
I was shaping the nose of a board, deck up with the nose pointing towards my chest, and I had this incredible feeling that what I take off with this tool right now will influence how the board goes through the water. How could I not fall in love with shaping after that?
I’ve pushed the high performance side as far as I or it can go. My boards are already a touch too high performance for the top guys, so what’s the use in pushing even further out?
My strength as a shaper is that I see the surfboard as a unit and not a nose, a middle and a tail.
I don’t always do what pro surfers asks. Pro’s might know more than the average guy but they think they know, with certainty, how one part of the board works yet don’t recognise the three or four or five other areas that also influence it.
I’ll always do what a customer wants since they’ll listen to my points and engage in a meaningful back and forth.
My biggest fault as a designer, and as a man, is being shape and surface and function obsessed.
Shane Herring did the hardest, tightest fastest turns that anyone has ever done and now only Kelly has come close to doing the same. In fact, Kelly has explored the banana more than Shane ever had the chance to. I’m indebted to him for that.
Kelly and I have talked about pools for about 15 years and then boards a few years ago. He approached me after seeing Herring riding the most extreme banana in my brother Monty’s profile on Shane.
It’s what Kelly feels. It’s more than just a moment. He feels connected to the banana board from nose to tail. They’re more advanced than what he is. If the best surfer in the world does a turn on a board and it comes underneath his feet with grip and keeps going around in the same direction he was heading but his weight is now over the top of the board, because he’s expecting that turn to be finished but it’s not flattening off it’s still going, well, that’s a good thing. Because it means he’s got more to do!
How do you ride a banana? Forward. Don’t stand on the tail. Stand in the middle. You’re standing in the same place for your bottom turns as you are for most of your carve turns.
But guess what happens. People get on a banana and ride it like they riding a flatter rocker board. You’ve gotta forget about your manoeuvres and just get to know the board by feeling where it fits in the wave. It can ride higher. It can get to places you can’t normally.
Where have I been? The wave pool has been occupying my thoughts since 1999. The process of getting a prototype built is insanely difficult. It’s bizarre to have something you know will be by far the best, and that it will make huge amounts of money for brands and developers, yet the people with the big dollars seem to be doing everything in their power to not invest in my company. Maybe having Kelly as a rival has played a big part in that.
I’m patient and fucking determined.
Misery is letting subtle things get to you.
If I could shape boards for anyone in history, it would be Muhammad and Jesus. I’d make them two boards each, one which does nothing but cause issues like rail grabs and nose dives while another one that glides and carves so well you don’t even realise there was a board under your feet. Then I’d ask them to make sure the religions that they founded will be like the invisible magic board that lets you enjoy what you are doing without knowing why.
You can buy the magazine here, single issues, subscription, whatever y’hot for.
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its all about the glide
Is ‘Determined’ the name of his missus or mistress?
Roy is a fantastic storyteller… but one thing he’s not is a liar, so I’d have to believe the narrative that a rich pharmaceutical CEO paid close to 1 million for said surfboard.
Pic of said board please.
Google most expensive surfboard ever made. The guy doesn’t even use drop lights to shape. But he’s got a 3d printer. All I see his desecration of a surfboard being held to Meyerhoffer confidence,without the brains.
Warshaw should hit Mr. Stuart for 30k for his entry into EOS..
Still remember the day I walked into Star Surf shop Perth to buy my first real board. I’d got all the basics down on borrowed 80s style boards (fat pigs) and was now ready for my first ‘real’ board. It’s was about ‘95, I was about 13, and the shop assistant talked my parents into buying me a second hand Webber banana. Fucking thing put my surfing so far backwards. Ended using it for target practice with a spear gun as I recall.
“Just in Greg Weber invents machine that allows him to smell own farts”
Article.
On Saturday Greg was sitting as his house and let one of his rose scented farts out,leading to a drawing on an etch a sketch later bought by Richard Branson s ex business partner spuds Mckenzie. “I can see the value in this” said spuds,who is a dog so enjoys the taste and smell of his own asshole. It’s rumored Kelly has already perfected and monetized this already,greg says if it’s true,he’s not using it to its maximum potential.
Explosive news
He’s the Donald trump of shaping?
New Zealand’s most prolific online troll in the surfing World… some truely outstanding work over the years, I have nothing but respect for the Man.
The bro in the Gath & red wetty?
Orange, it’s the whole families wetsuit colour of choice.
I love how he calls what he does “surfing”. Theres no Grace theres no foot movement dude just looks like a traffic cone going down the line,acting like he’s taking flight for the first time.
He’s definitely a world class troll. I didn’t realise he was a holocaust denier though. Surely he’d be ripe for a ‘grit exclusive?
Surfco legend
So you don’t think the holocaust happened?
Im not even entertaining the idea of walking down this path.
Webber pool on a Banana board… haters be damned, it’s going to happen! I’m laughing with Greg on this one.
It might work – too much rocker could slow the board down enough to sit forever in a wave pool barrel without all the theatrical arm drags/ cheater fives etc.
Actually surfing in the steepest section of a wave sure beats the boring sit in the barrel for 20 seconds…
Yes, there is that, of course.
I shaped the outline,Cambell did the hard stuff.
How boring is it sitting in a barrel for 20 seconds?
Real life? I couldn’t tell you, probably about 12 seconds more than I’ve ever experienced!\
In a wave pool? fun, i’m sure for the first 2 dozen barrels.
In a wave pool in a competitive format? extremely dull & boring.
Kelly’s the least of your worries when you say something so utterly stupid as “jesus and mohammad gotta make their religions more like my boards. Fuck me.
I’d love to cut the rounded square tail off Christianity and turn it onto a swallow-tail.
I’d buy your wavepool.
Bank of Nigeria 00-2047-129809-00
$10,000 deposit will put you on the potential buyers list.
Potential is good enough for me. Money’s on it’s way. I have a good feeling about this.
This sounded a lot like an interview with that weird kiwi fella Roy Stuart about those wooden boards of his!
Is Greg Webber surfing’s answer to:
A. Elon Musk
B. Mark Zuckerberg
C. Steve Jobs
D. Homer Simpson
Discuss!
I think he could be the answer to Donald Trump !
lets analyse some of Gregs wonderous comments and claims…..
So the Banana board is too advanced for Pro surfers, including KS . So is there anyone who has ridden the board to its full potential other than Greg, and if so name the surfer so we can talk to him , or its just bullshit or fake news!
what pro surfers is Greg currently shaping for , and what are the 3-5 area’s that pros don’t know about that influence performance?
The Herro boards were good at the COKE contest , which was a couple of mths and the following models went like shit as they were too rockered , and no-one could ride them!
When I read some of the nonsensical rubbish that Greg posts about s/bd design , how can we believe him about his pool , great stories, a bit like Donald in that he just makes shit up , and because he says it,it must be real and we must believe it because he’s a self proclaimed genius !
You know what genius is?
Genius is moving the US Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. So Iran, you want to wipe Israel off the map. Now you risk bombing American “soil”. A U.S.A. Embassy is American soil. If Hezbollah attacks Israel, now they risk all out war with us! That is how you create middle east peace.
I thought the genius of Donald was, he recognizes Jerusalem as the capital of Israel , pisses a couple of billion people off, stops the peace process , and now more radicalization of extremist muslims , all in the name of taking the spotlight of Donald’s Russian problems and the obvious #metoo claims from the 17 women who are claiming sexual harassment…now that’s genius!
…or he gets the Alabama Republicans back on the Roy Moore team by proving his resolve in the Middle East.
now there is todays quote , that Trumpy has resolve!
For the sake of argument, let’s say everything about the russian collusion is correct. What about it was illegal? What about it truly influenced the election results? Where is there the proof that voters were prevented, inhibited, tricked or otherwise from the casting of their vote because a potential incoming administration spoke with people from a major world power?
ah the old ” nothing here to see ” ,just deals cut by the Trumpy to get the Russians to ah “Flavour the elections for him “, and in return,” economic sanctions would be lessened not increased ” .
All the relevant Merican intelligence agency’s sure found enough evidence , but there are those who prefer to believe Putin , over their own Intelligence agencies !
E. Bjork
South parks version of B. ” i was invited here by,people.”
“Shane Herring did the hardest, tightest fastest turns that anyone has ever done and now only Kelly has come close to doing the same.”
Wow, didn’t know bogging rail was radical now… I surf gnarly then.
As a shaper Webber had an interview when he started offshoring his boards “asian men have a more feminine touch” i don’t think he learned that from their shaping.
So Jesus was actually riding a Webber when he walked on water?
So they say.
Maybe gotta put the banana to bed, because if Jesus cant ride one who the fuck can?
Muhammad, the improved version of The Prophet?
Jesus and Muhammad, but no mention of the surf god Huey!
There’s no actual proof that he exists any more or less than those other 2 charlatans.