The greatest folk on earth!
The grave specter of no World Surf League Pipeline Masters for the 2019 season is starting to sink in and what a bummer. What a rotten bit of no good. Surf historian Matt Warshaw calls it “the crucible” and I agree with him exactly but do you know what else I love about Pipeline? The fact that it is in Hawaii and all the blonde Californians and bronzed Aussies and even more bronzed Brazilians have to go every year and navigate the most gorgeously intense milieu this side of northern Syria.
I read a story just this morning posted by Fox News, while laying in bed wishing I was never born (you were right again Nick Carroll) that made we so wistful for what is soon to disappear and would you mind terribly if I shared it with you?
LONDON – A tourist from Hawaii has pleaded guilty to punching two London police officers outside Buckingham Palace.
A prosecutor says 36-year-old Ryan Robinson of Kahekili Highway asked the armed officers, “Do you know any jokes?” before punching one in the face and trying to grab his Taser on Wednesday.
When the second officer pointed his gun at Robinson and ordered him to stand still, Robinson knocked him to the ground.
Prosecutor Henry Fitch said Friday that Robinson was heavily intoxicated and it took several other officers to restrain him.
Robinson, who appeared in court with a dirty shirt and bruised eye, admitted two counts of assaulting a police officer. A judge at Westminster Magistrates’ Court gave him an eight-week suspended sentence and ordered him to pay each victim 200 pounds ($280).
Sigh.
And it also makes me want to move to London 500 some bucks to punch police officers seems like the best bargain around.
I think it’s poetic justice that in needlessly attempting to move the grande finale of Pipe to the beginning of the year, the WSL was punished by not being able to run it at all.
Would you punch? or just lunge awkwardly muttering something about fucking them up and don’t say her name!
He’s from Virginia. Look up the Ryan Robinson Band in Maui. I have a feeling he’s gonna have a tough time getting gigs on his adopted Islands now that he’s brought bad press for Hawaii.
Thought he could knock back pints of full strength British beers/ lager like it was those shitty little watered-down bottles of Heineken the Hawaiian locals love.
That’s like a midwestern kook paddling out to decent Pipe on a wavestorm.
isn’t today the anniversary of cooks death in Hawaii?
Thanks Donny. Up where, specifically?
Pointed the gun at him and ordered him to stand still? Fire the fucking gun! That will make him still…
are you typing this article with one hand. ?
Yes and such milky head.
Apparently they don’t have a quick off the cuff joke ready either
The guy was just trying to learn a couple new jokes
You wont be punching anyone – Goggins included – with one bung arm!!!
That picture seems to portray a typical Saturday night on the town in Newcastle, minus a bevy of semi-naked obese female humans.
OK, that’s not entirely fair.
Some of them aren’t human.
Especially with the surf stars in town!!! My mate used to judge Surffest and said chicks broke up with boyfriends for the week or so
Time share saves the world .Since day one humans have felt the need to free themselves from the constrictions of the human condition.No reason to stop building sand castles in the Newcastle .
Opiods?
No need for drugs just a big happy orgy where the slaves become the emperors and pent up steam is blown like spit from the pit .Due to changing conditions at Newcastle one of my best mates now 49 has got the call up to surf for EBC in the 1/4 finals at Nudie BB . GO BALLBOY GO.Next > semi go boys !
Ha ha nice!
Keep it simple and have the courage to be happy ! Whatever the fuck that means . 👍
Imagine if we didn’t surf! We’d be fucked..well i would be.
I’m too old and boring to get involved in all that scene. I just go to work and come home to get shouted at by all and sundry.
I wouldn’t know what a surf star looked like if I tripped over them at Coles.
Sounds like my life – shouted at constantly here too!! Twins mate fuck me!!! That’s why hide in surf during school time for sanity
Lucky you. I’ve devolved into a weekend-warrior again.
At Dixon right now w the kids. What a circus. Way to make a guy feel inadequate.
Seals boomers Tuncurry tues!!!
Fuck!! twins here too and same deal ring the bell dads gone surfing.
Have you considered administering more opiods? Hope so.
Wow, what a lenient justice system, could it be that Brits don’t blindly worship their “peace officers” like we do in the home of the free?
In America, without hesitation the second officer would have pumped the
entirety of his service pistol into Ryan, leaving him to bleed out on
the street while handcuffed for good measure, of course. He later would
be labeled a hero, given a paid vacation, and offered a promotion.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Only if the offenders skin was dark enough.
Au contraire. White and hispanic perps are percentage-wise more likely to be shot by police than dark dudes. Is true.
Nope, Fakebook fake news. Black people are proportionally far more likely to get killed by cops than white. Whether or not racial prejudice is the causal factor in that disparity is a better question that gets very little daylight.
https://www.snopes.com/do-p…
Probably good policy to never fuck with anyone who’s “of” status is an actual highway
The Highway Man often ended up dead or transported to Australia.
Along the coach roads I did ride
Capt Cook may have had his shortcomings but at least he didnt lose Pipe cuz of a clerical error.
Kill the savage….save the man.
Is that quote from the founder of Carleton College? The guy who hired Pop Warner to civilize the Indians with football? I could look it up but you’re already here …
Of course! I regurgitate all of my information from Radio lab/NPR.
I heard that same episode rerun for the Superbowl. Interesting history there, well worth a finger down the figurative throat!
I doubt ,like Cook, that Sophie will become the main course at the black shorts’ BBQ.